How to tell if he is sincere about saving relationship and not cheating again?

[harleygirl92156]

He cheated, he confessed, has lied about it but now fessed up the truth, says he lied to save my feelings but it backfired. Now he his being loving, says he sorry all the time, accounts for his time, tries not to even look at another woman (which I know is hard for you guys) let alone talk to one, goes to marriage counseling and participates, swears he won't every cheat again because of the hurt it has caused, been married 12 years.

 

What are our chances?

 

I am feeling better, (found out six months ago) but still have doubts and the trust thing is awful. I don't want to spend the rest of my life being jealous and looking over his shoulder. I still have issues, but I can't ask him to do anymore than he is, if I can, I sure can't see what it woud be.

 

Should I hang in there, I DO love him, but just have these fears and doubts and lack of trust.

[laRubiaBonita]

well, it sounds to me, like he is certainly trying to gain your trust back....even with out much provocation from you, which i think is a good sign.

 

you are going to have to lend him some trust, and see if you can eventually build back the trust you had, or at least something similar.

 

from personal experience, after 6-8 months, i was able to give him some trust back, or rather i felt he earned it.

 

so Chin up, i hope it will get easier.

 

about your hang ups over the whole thing, Your feeling are Completely Valid, so do not think you are over reacting, you are with in your rights to feel however you want, But you need to deal with your feelings, and probably deal with your feelings with your husband, at least let him know what is going on in your head, what your fears are, how extremely hard and painful this is for you to deal with and even to think about.

 

even though his actions have changed, he needs to know that that is not all it will take for You to get past this.

[Heavenlyflower9]

i'm dealing with the same. H is doing everything! Even things i've never seen him before do....like help me with the laundry

Can't complain......but the trust still is'nt there.

 

It all takes time i guess. I'll have to agree and take LaRubia's advice.

 

Heavenlyflower

[lilmoma1973]

im sorry but once you have been done wrong by somone you will always be looking over your shoulder and wondering ......