Girl's ex is ruining everything

[IrishGuy]

Hi,

 

I have a problem. I've been seeing this girl unofficially for 3 months now. She's had feelings for me since January but she only broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years in April. We got together soon after and things were going fine for awhile. The problem is her boyfriend suffers from clinical depression which I know must suck and he's hurt himself in the past. But now he's having a hard time letting go and this is making everyone including myself feel bad. She's admitted she still has feelings for him and doesn't want to hurt him but she really wants to be with me.

 

Also, alot of her friends, excluding her best friend, really like him and she has to take him to a party next month.

 

Now I'm confused, I don't want to lose her because I have very strong feelings for her. But I also don't want to get hurt by her if she feels she has to get backtogether with him.

[Spectre]

First of all, what do you mean by dating unofficially? if you havent made it official yet your gf could use that excuse to cheat on you first of all, and then say "oh we werent officially together bla bla" the excuses chicks make when they go around boning you and a few other guys

 

Anyways, I'd say let her go, she has already ADMITTED to you that she still has feelings for her ex, that is a huge red flag right there my friend, I mean that tells me first of all she isnt over him, so why is she getting back into the dating game so quickly? why do you wanna date a girl who 1 isnt over her ex and 2 still see's him often

 

And also tell me what she means by "she has to take him to a party" man, i dont even know this girl and I know she doesnt have to take this guy anywhere, dont fall for that or let her guilt you, yes he may be depressed and it sucks if he has hurt himself, but that isnt your problem nor is it hers, it isnt her fault, they broke up for a REASON, and as much as she may not want to see him hurting, it isnt her fault he cant move on and if he is considering hurting himself over this girl he has a severe obsession with her, either way: like I said it isnt your problem what this kids feeling, i dont know HOW many guys ive known who play the whole "i cant live without you ill kill myself if u leave me" stuff just to get the chick to stay, but whats worse here is that your gf is falling for his crap and even taking him places, and another thing..you say she was with him 2 years and then after they broke up she was with you soon after? do you really want a chick like that?

 

Ill sum it up- its obvious you dont want this girl to see her ex, hell its NEVER a good idea for the girl to keep up contact with the ex right after a break, especially if soon afterwards she found someone new, first of all: tell her that first and foremost she needs to sort out her feelings, she cant have feelings for you AND him, somewhere along the way that will cause massive problems, and second I would tell her to stop contact with this kid and DEFINITELY dont let her take him to a party, especially if you wont be there, that just spells disaster man, I can see the scenario now: they both get drunk, he is laying it on real thick to her, saying how he is so sad over her and loves her, and she ends up hooking up with him, then blaming it on alcohol and "feeling bad" If i was you, this chick would of been dumped the minute she said she had feelings still for her bf, but if you really wanna pursue it, first and foremost tell her to sort out her feelings and forbid her from seeing/talking to this guy