Fioana Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 years. Recently moved in with each other. The last year or so he has become pretty distant and since moving in he hasn't been very affectionate. This has all caused to anxiety to act up. Recently (last week or so) when he's on his computer he has head phones on (only used to wear them if I was sleeping in the next room) and when he uses my iPad he deletes his browsing history but leaves everything I have browsed... Should I be suspicious of something? Should I ask him? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Ask him. He may think he's being considerate while you are imagining all sorts of nefarious things. The change of moving in together takes some getting used to. There are always bumps. I was always on edge with a new person in my space. I had to get used to them. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Something may be wrong, but you'll need to talk to him to be sure. While some adjustment is normal, I would worry if affection dropped off immediately after moving in. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Why did it take 8 years to move in together? Has he moved in together because he wanted it or because you pressured him? Some men are darlings while they date you but once you move in, or marry, they consider you granted. They are repeating the pattern they've learn from their father. Dad came in after work, didn't show affection, preferred to read his newspaper instead of speaking with mom. If this is not the life you want for yourself for the next 40 years, I am afraid you need to end it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fioana Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 Took 8 years due to him taking care of his mother who has multiple health issues. He never had a father or even a father figure in his life. I never pressured him to move out. He is the one who started all the planning and even bought all our furniture and what not that we needed. He's very introverted and always has been. Doesn't like crowds or family functions. I am his first girlfriend. He always prefers to be on his computer then doing anything else really. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Sounds like this is how cohabiting is going to be if he prefers to be on his computer. Not really normal for living together but - you knew what you were getting into before you did this yes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fioana Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 Yes I knew how he was prior... He's been very to himself every since we met. Doesn't open up about things... shows no emotions... I can't even tell you if we've had a serious talk. He's not a very serious person. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Yes I knew how he was prior... He's been very to himself every since we met. Doesn't open up about things... shows no emotions... I can't even tell you if we've had a serious talk. He's not a very serious person. He hasn't changed and never will. If this kind of living situation/lifestyle doesn't work for you, you have two choices, be miserable and paranoid for a long time or tell him that you are unhappy and what it is you need. If he doesn't acknowledge and understand and attempt to accommodate you, at least, be able to negotiate/compromise, then you end it and leave or ask him to leave. He's not a very serious person. -- If he's not taking your life together seriously, then show him you're serious and ask him to leave. You cannot have a serious relationship with someone you can't talk to/communicate with. If there isn't quality communication between a couple who is living together, then they are just roommates and conveniences for each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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