Is "average" enough for husbands?

[Wade Lamare]

Ordinary can be great.

On holiday rather than some flashy resort my wife and I sometimes take the greatest pleasure in finding a quiet country inn in the middle of nowhere, finding the rooms are top notch for the price and sitting outside having a drink watching cricket on the village green while deciding what to have for dinner.

 

However, I sometimes also like being stalked by a voracious sex kitten.

 

Variety is the spice of life. Unpredictability can be good sometimes.

[bradt93]

Excitement to me is travel. I havea partner witj my same view.

 

You need to know if you are a person that needs that little bit extra above the bare necessities and merely existing. And moreover; what this additional thing is.

 

A partner who is content with kids and a mortgage and merely enjoying a roof over their head and decent food on the table - I would personally need to travel overseas every few years even if I have a kid (I would also never have more than one kid since having a kid means you need to be very well off in order to enjoy even the occasional overseas trip)

 

Needing certain things in order to meet your quota of "excitement" also means you should have common knowledge that you must go without or be frugal in other key areas in life.

 

I cannot stand people who are stupid enough to believe they can go and get their "excitement", which udually cost money, and go overseas yearly and yet they still expect to also drive new cars and afford piano lessons for their kids. People need to at least know that they need to work very hard and either do a difficult degree that is employable or open businesses that are successful.

 

Men or women that are happy to be perpetually broke in the name of their "excitment " are total turns offs. They don't want to work hard enough to afford to have their extravagant lifestyle AND also have savings for a rainy day and to retire by age 70.

 

I am turned on by me who want overseas travel as a lifelong "thing". I couldn't live my best life with merely a mortgage and a family. I need to explore sifferent countries in and off during my life time.....yet I am equally turned off when they also don't have a fairly detailed plan as to what areas they will need to go without (say, weekly meet ups at pubs or fancy restaurant meals) in order to accommodate for their "excitment"

 

So by now you would have noticed that my one thing in life that I need in order to remain excited.....is travel.

Mostly overseas. Not fancy hotels either; while I do enjoy the occasional pampering session and 5 star hotel, if I had it all the time it wouldn't be so special and lose its appeal.

Road tripping trying the countries cheap local junk foods and seeing new countries is what my partner and I need throughout our lives to feel excited. Hostels are fine. A clean bed and hot water is all I need to reach my potential happiness wise. Fancy things minus travel would do nothing for me.

 

However the fact is, unless you both have good jobs and if you have kids - u pretty much need to be rich to afford this sort of "excitement ". So for us, life is about compromise. We don't need kids but would like 1- and know we will have to travel less and come up with new ways to remain excited. We both enjoy our own hobbies and interests but deep down, we do both need to get out of our own country every few years to remain all that thrilled about life and to appreciate being home bodies (which we do but the contrast of travel sure makes us enjoy day to day adulthood more).

 

I would be not as into a man who didn't share my life goals. A man who was into being the ultimate saver and retiring early and having more than 1 child - Would bot stimulateor motivate me as I dream a bit bigger than merely having kids and a mortgage.

 

I believe my partner and I compensate for our desire for overseas travel with the fact we would never jave more than 1 kid, and we do not enjoy going out and eating out and socialising. Money wasted going out to meet frienfs always feels like such a waste to us! We also don't nees new cars or expensive clothes (I OP shop ! I nees the good tailord stuff but buy it second hand).

 

Reckless stupidity- and indulging ones "excitment" needs with little to no recourse for ones actions and basically being broke on retirement.... turn off. Yuck. How dumb and entitled to either want it all or to be so stupid as to assume the average person can live large yet save for retirement!

 

Well thought out thrills - yes please -! I needed someone to be a home body with, and live cheaply with so we could save for the bigger things we both seem to need.

Would you date a guy with say aspergers as long as they treat you right? Also, I notice on YT good looking women and men with aspergers.

[wmacbride]

Would you date a guy with say aspergers as long as they treat you right? Also, I notice on YT good looking women and men with aspergers.

 

I saw this an had to answer.

 

My oldest ha aspserger's, and the psychologist who assessed her told me I likely am too, but very high functioning.

 

My oldest ( she's 19) has zero interest in dating ( or friends at all), as she was badly hurt in the past and finds it hard to trust anyone.

 

One thing she has found helpful was to join an online support group where she can chat with others who understand the way her mind works. Dating is often brought up, and from what she's told me,many of the people on the site do end up having happy relationships. It just takes some patience and understanding on both partner's parts. One thing that does seem fairly consistent is self identifying. Those who were up front right from the start, and were honest about the facets of a relationship they found difficult had the most luck.

 

This is where my daughter stumbles, as she also has alexthymia, and can't talk about how she's feeling.

[minimariah]

I think that is the mistake most wives whose husbands stray make.

 

what makes you think that those wives, whose husbands stray, make ANY mistakes at all?