Is "average" enough for husbands?

[lana-banana]

Excitement is in the eye of the beholder. Do you have things you're passionate about? Whether it's reading, art, or a musical instrument, if you are really dedicated to something, that's pretty exciting in and of itself. I go to a lot of cocktail parties and love it when people talk about their hobbies, because their passion makes them so much more authentic and interesting than anybody talking about current events. This one guy wouldn't shut up about lizards and it was absolutely fascinating.

 

My fiancé's ex-girlfriend is a very "exciting" person. She's always traveling around the world, going on trips to exotic locations, drinking fancy whiskeys, spending the weekend in Bali when the rest of us are scrubbing mildew off the tub, etc. When we first started dating I thought my man was crazy to prefer someone as shy and practical as I am. I told him this and he thought I was the crazy one! "She was a narcissistic, manipulative maniac. I would always rather be here with you than anywhere with her." It gave me a lot to think about.

 

Try to be the best version of who you are every day, take joy in the things that make you happy, and don't ever let anyone tell you that you're not enough.

[Southwardbound]

I found this in one of your past threads:

 

One thing he had said about her is that she was "fun" and spontaneous.

 

Your husband had an affair with a woman he qualified fun and spontaneous and now you are worrying that 'you the wife' isn't enough fun and spontaneity for him? and you are not fulfilling that need?

 

You cannot compare a mistress to a wife. A mistress will always be fun and spontaneous no matter what. Each time he saw her she was all made up, had her nails done, her hair perfect and wore sexy undies. It was always exciting because it was forbitten. If your husband had picked her and married her believe me the fun and spontaneous would have disappeared. She would have become the wife, the one that picks up after him, cooks for him, the one he sees with no make up on and in her old clothes on Saturday while she cleans the house.

 

My BF tells me he's the most happy when we get up Saturday morning and I walk around in my old un-matching pg's with my hair in a mess and we enjoy the moment. If your husband cannot find happiness in moments like these he's not made for marriage.

 

I'm the OM or the mistress... I never get made up! I don't go out & get my nails done. I cut my own hair, & it's always natural. I don't wear perfect sexy clothes. All that stuff - that's his wife - not me. I do cook, clean, & pick up after him- when we are living together - same as her. I think her she lives her life in a fairly routine sort of way - from what MM says. Am I spontaneous & fun? Sure, I am - very carefree. But, what I really am, is intimate. I will give him 'alone' time cause I think every male needs that. However, I let him know all the time, exactly how I feel about him, by what i say or do everyday. Even when he's with her.

 

I think that is the mistake most wives whose husbands stray make. Is they forget that communication & intimacy are relationship essentials. None of the what I do with or for my MM requires money. The same with him- for me. It just requires us. And there is no reason, why you cannot do the same for your husband - you just have to want to.

[seren]

H and I have been together for over 30 years, in the early days we had excitement, well what many would call excitement. With him in the military our lives were full of uncertainty, we lived it to the full. Lots of going away and welcoming home, as the years went on things calmed down a bit, they had to or we would have combusted.

 

Now, we live rurally, remotely, we don't socialise, it is just him and me and we love nothing better than sitting outside with a cup of tea watching the world twirl. Sometimes we don't speak for hours and we are comfortable with that. As my illness often sees me laid up for days and I cannot walk too far, we have had to adapt and adjust. Funnily enough I asked him yesterday if he longed for a more exciting life, he said he always wondered if I felt the same as I was always the more eccentric and daring. He then spent 20 minutes or so of brushing my hair and massaging my shoulders, nothing exciting about that, but it was very intimate and tender.

 

Sometimes I wear make up, sometimes not, I always wear perfume, he loves my smell and says he can pick me out of thousands. These are the things that make for what floats our boat. I look across at him in his funny old shorts and scratty rugby top from years ago that pour son bought him and he looks as desirable to me as if he was all suited and booted.

 

He was watching the rugby, so I took myself off to another room, he kept coming back and fro and finally came in and put it on on in the room I was in, it is a smaller television and the chair isn't his chair, so I asked why did you do that? He said, I don't like not being in the same room as you, even though you are reading you fill the room with you, what a fab thing to say, so I went in with him while he yelled at the telly and I read my book. It's not what you do, or how you do it, it's who you do it with and whether they are happy doing it with you too.

 

I agre about the not always being made up and wearing heels. We share our life, we share our relaxed times, if I expected H to always be wearing his suit that I like and me sat in the dress and heels he likes we would be so, so uncomfortable. Intimacy isn't just sex, it can be making time together while chaos goes on around us, it can be nothing more than watching your children grow. Everyone changes, not everyone needs to be zipping about or riding motorcycles through fire to be exciting. I finally felt settled when I stopped doing the mad things. Before becoming older and disabled I was like a stormy sea, now I am more a gentle wave, still the same person, just calmer. He's much the same, life does that. They and we are where we want to be, not what we think we should be. x

Edited June 11, 2017 by seren

[Poutrew]

I once knew a girl who liked to take trips. Excessively. Like, many people would save up for years to take a 2 week vacation to the Bahamas. This girl would have a 3 day weekend coming up and decide to take an extra sick day off work and fly to Bahama for 3 days. No, she wasn't rich, just kinda sick with the Wanderlust. I have absolutely no desire to go anywhere. I would reach down and grab a handful of dirt and tell her 'this is South America' as I let it fall from my open fingers. Then I would repeat the same action saying 'this is Europe', or 'this is the Bahamas',,, she couldn't understand it even when I explained it to her. In my past, I would travel the world over for my job, and no, I never enjoyed going to those locations, or the jet flight that took me there...or staying in whatever nameless hotel I had to stay in (though I always tried to get the room next to the ice machine, I do so enjoy a good ice cube). When she finally grokked my meaning, she said something I never forgot: "Poutrew, your job is cool but you aren't" I thanked her for the compliment.

You make a life where you are right now, not where you may find yourself in a years time. As far as I know, she is still travelling, looking for...whatever she hasn't found yet. IMO too many people are just wanderers in this life. I suppose most women find me too 'average'... and that is just the way I want it, until I run into a female who is smart enough to look past the carefully manicured exterior...

[Els]

"Average" is a relative term. Just because you live a normal life, it doesn't necessarily mean you are "average", or that a person who loves you would think that.

 

I agree with what Gaeta said re: your H's affair.

[No_Go]

Actually my (strongly) preferred type is what OP describes as 'average'. I'd go for 'average' guy like this any day over some social butterfly. I'm introverted myself, like to spend a lot of time introspecting, and I get downright exhausted from people that are always out and about.

[GunslingerRoland]

I'm personally in the middle. I like to enjoy some excitement still while I'm relatively young. I love vacationing and I love getting out and enjoying different things. Nothing crazy, just experiencing life. But that said, I also like relaxing time at home.

 

I'd say most people are in the middle, but some are on both extremes, men and women.

 

But given the situation of an affair with a more energetic spontaneous partner, I would look at ways to spice things up a little bit.

[wmacbride]

Thanks to everyone who replied.

 

I'm asking because we were at a function, and were speaking with some acquaintances. They were telling how nice it was that their kids are grown and they can do all the things they had put off.

 

It sounded fun, and I was happy for them.

 

We had gotten home, and I was thinking about it, and it stuck in my mind how, when he cheated all those years ago, one thing he said about the A that was so attractive is it was just so spontaneous, and they could do what they wanted when they wanted and there was no responsibility.

 

That isn't ever going to be in the cards or us. Not ever.

[wmacbride]

I'm the OM or the mistress... I never get made up! I don't go out & get my nails done. I cut my own hair, & it's always natural. I don't wear perfect sexy clothes. All that stuff - that's his wife - not me. I do cook, clean, & pick up after him- when we are living together - same as her. I think her she lives her life in a fairly routine sort of way - from what MM says. Am I spontaneous & fun? Sure, I am - very carefree. But, what I really am, is intimate. I will give him 'alone' time cause I think every male needs that. However, I let him know all the time, exactly how I feel about him, by what i say or do everyday. Even when he's with her.

 

I think that is the mistake most wives whose husbands stray make. Is they forget that communication & intimacy are relationship essentials. None of the what I do with or for my MM requires money. The same with him- for me. It just requires us. And there is no reason, why you cannot do the same for your husband - you just have to want to.

 

I appreciate the reply, and what you say does make sense.

 

The problem, for us at least, is time.

[wmacbride]

I tink there might be a misunderstanding here.

 

My husband's affair was over years ago. It's not a recent event:)

[Overtaxed]

Can your wife be too "ordinary"?

 

I admit that I am not the most exciting person in the world. I'm not any sort of an "adrenaline junkie", and for me, a nice evening is maybe going out for dinner, talking a nice walk, sitting on the beach, maybe watching an old tv show or sitting out in my "night garden" ( I have a small section with plants that bloom at night, like moon flowers). I do like to take vacations, but I absolutely hate the resort in cuba/cruise ship idea. I have more fun renting a house and car and driving around the back country of wherever we are visiting.

 

My days are filled with work, shuttling my kids to their appointments, looking after the house and my birds. My big dream in life would be to have a tiny little cottage on the beach somewhere on a tropical island. There'd be a small village nearby, and so long as I have internet access I can still work. We'd keep a small home here for the summers, and go there in the winter.

 

In short, my life is average and probably sounds kind of boring to others. I'm happy though.

 

My question is ( and I know no one can answer for my spouse), in general terms, is this enough excitement in life for the majority husbands?

 

One thing that I have read sometimes on here is posts written by men who are looking for more excitement in their lives. Ours life together just isn't that "thrilling", but I'm happy.

 

I'm not looking for pats on the back here, but honest responses. Is a simple life enough for you? I've asked my husband about it, and he tells me it is. I'm not doubting his honesty, but I would like to discuss the topic here.

 

That sounds heavenly to me. It's very much what my W and I have; and, yes, it's something that would attract me to a woman. I do like doing risky/adventurous things with my W, but, honestly, that's like 1% of our time together. The other 99%, it's relaxing, talking, laughing, working around our house, doing projects together. Not at all what you'd consider exciting. Some "extreme sports" that we do together occasionally, a motorcycle ride now and again. But not "living on the edge".

 

Is it boring? Not to me, not at all. You know what I find boring? What I just got done doing, being out at dinner with 30 people where I was "the entertainment" (the most senior person in the room, everyone wants to talk to me). I find that about as exciting watching a 2nd coat of paint dry. Bars, clubs, even stuff like concerts.. I find none of it exciting at all. Making a perfect 45 degree miter on a 1X4? Now that get's me excited!

 

I'm an introvert. There are plenty of us out there. And no, what your describing wouldn't bore me in the least. Any extrovert tendencies I get out at work, a high pressure, high "touch" job that involves a lot of people/decisions and is high stakes. But "exciting"? No, it's just stressful, and that's not fun at all for me, it's a burden. I could never date/marry someone who always had to be at a party/bar/out to dinner/with other people to feel good about themselves because that makes me feel so run down. Give me a night at home with a nicely cooked meal (by me or my W) and I'm happy as can be.

 

Have hobbies of your own, have interests, but don't think you have to be the "life of the party" or be an Xgames competitor to attract a guy, that's not true at ALL.

[wmacbride]

I'm definitely an introvert, and would probably be assessed as bring very high functioning aspergers. I find being around large groups with a lot of noise to be really tiring.

 

One hing we both love is to travel. I find it fun to rent a car and drive, like we did in Purto Rico. Lovely people, beautiful scenery, and I really want to go back. That's my goal...save enough to buy a little cottage near the beach...

Edited June 21, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redact full quote of immediately preceding post

[Overtaxed]

Darn, tried to edit my post, but it was locked. Just wanted to add:

 

If you're talking about excitement as in "sexual excitement" (which, from reading the posts, might be the case), then yes, all guys, at least all that I know of, do like that. Can't think of a single guy I've ever talked to who got upset his wife dressed up, or pulled a "new move" in bed, or was too "into it". So, yes, that kind of excitement, I do think, is a universal male "like".

[todreaminblue]

Anyone can love a rose but it takes a great deal to love a leaf.Its ordinary(average) to love the beautiful....but beautiful to love the ordinary

 

it may be ordinary to you....but your ordinary is beautiful...cant imagine anything as graceful in stillness and reflection..so therefore inherently beautiful that is you.... a tired contented mum sitting in her night garden surrounded by night blooming flowers with heady scents dreaming of warm sands and surf ........

 

poetic isnt it....you are therefore ...the stuff of poetry...where poetry forms and begins...there you are beautiful YOU..and extra ordinary......shine on..ill write that poem and give it to you one day ...

 

any husband to have you...would be blessed ..just read posts above i am on moderation.....so my posts are whack and out of sync...

 

if your husband had an affair it is not a reflection on you or how you are...but a reflection on him having an idiot status..........deb

Edited June 22, 2017 by todreaminblue

[todreaminblue]

Behind the mists and in fading light,

a night garden breathes fragrant blooms of white,

an ordinary woman sits with folded hands of care,

in her night garden she finds her stillness there,

her quietness belies her worries and trials,

she thinks of her children and then she smiles

barefoot she feels the cooling grass,

and wonders how long does stillness last,

her quiet heart sated by shades of blue,

dreams of a house by the sea with a husband true,

 

her hair in soft wisps around her face,

an ordinary woman, a night garden

just a mother in a most special place

just a poems distance away,

written by a poor writer some day

ordinary words about an ordinary life

that become immortal.....(at least on debs facebook....;0)...)

....deborah

[dichotomy]

Can your wife be too "ordinary"?

 

I admit that I am not the most exciting person in the world. I'm not any sort of an "adrenaline junkie", and for me, a nice evening is maybe going out for dinner, talking a nice walk, sitting on the beach, maybe watching an old tv show or sitting out in my "night garden" ( I have a small section with plants that bloom at night, like moon flowers). I do like to take vacations, but I absolutely hate the resort in cuba/cruise ship idea. I have more fun renting a house and car and driving around the back country of wherever we are visiting.

 

My days are filled with work, shuttling my kids to their appointments, looking after the house and my birds. My big dream in life would be to have a tiny little cottage on the beach somewhere on a tropical island. There'd be a small village nearby, and so long as I have internet access I can still work. We'd keep a small home here for the summers, and go there in the winter.

 

In short, my life is average and probably sounds kind of boring to others. I'm happy though.

 

My question is ( and I know no one can answer for my spouse), in general terms, is this enough excitement in life for the majority husbands?

 

One thing that I have read sometimes on here is posts written by men who are looking for more excitement in their lives. Ours life together just isn't that "thrilling", but I'm happy.

 

I'm not looking for pats on the back here, but honest responses. Is a simple life enough for you? I've asked my husband about it, and he tells me it is. I'm not doubting his honesty, but I would like to discuss the topic here.

 

Not at all bad for some husbands. I mostly like a low key pleasant life - a good movie, meal, glass of wine, local events. Although I do like a nice cruise or Caribbean resort sometimes as well.

 

May I be blunt ? The average nice guy husband likes a pleasant life, nice meals, respect/compliments from their wife, and regular fun sex. That last part is key, not crazy kinky - just fun regular playful sex.

 

My two cents.

 

Plenty of stories of "nice guy" husbands - and then their wives cheating -seeking out some some bad/crazy/wild guy.

Edited June 25, 2017 by dichotomy

[Maggie4]

People fight tooth and nail to finally have what you described. And you say it's average? boring? I don't understand. Why do you like it if you think it's boring? I like it because it is heaven. I don't understand you...

[Eternal Sunshine]

I once knew a girl who liked to take trips. Excessively. Like, many people would save up for years to take a 2 week vacation to the Bahamas. This girl would have a 3 day weekend coming up and decide to take an extra sick day off work and fly to Bahama for 3 days. No, she wasn't rich, just kinda sick with the Wanderlust. I have absolutely no desire to go anywhere. I would reach down and grab a handful of dirt and tell her 'this is South America' as I let it fall from my open fingers. Then I would repeat the same action saying 'this is Europe', or 'this is the Bahamas',,, she couldn't understand it even when I explained it to her. In my past, I would travel the world over for my job, and no, I never enjoyed going to those locations, or the jet flight that took me there...or staying in whatever nameless hotel I had to stay in (though I always tried to get the room next to the ice machine, I do so enjoy a good ice cube). When she finally grokked my meaning, she said something I never forgot: "Poutrew, your job is cool but you aren't" I thanked her for the compliment.

You make a life where you are right now, not where you may find yourself in a years time. As far as I know, she is still travelling, looking for...whatever she hasn't found yet. IMO too many people are just wanderers in this life. I suppose most women find me too 'average'... and that is just the way I want it, until I run into a female who is smart enough to look past the carefully manicured exterior...

 

That girl sounds like me.

 

I have always secretly envied people that are happy with the ordinary.

[todreaminblue]

I once knew a girl who liked to take trips. Excessively. Like, many people would save up for years to take a 2 week vacation to the Bahamas. This girl would have a 3 day weekend coming up and decide to take an extra sick day off work and fly to Bahama for 3 days. No, she wasn't rich, just kinda sick with the Wanderlust. I have absolutely no desire to go anywhere. I would reach down and grab a handful of dirt and tell her 'this is South America' as I let it fall from my open fingers. Then I would repeat the same action saying 'this is Europe', or 'this is the Bahamas',,, she couldn't understand it even when I explained it to her. In my past, I would travel the world over for my job, and no, I never enjoyed going to those locations, or the jet flight that took me there...or staying in whatever nameless hotel I had to stay in (though I always tried to get the room next to the ice machine, I do so enjoy a good ice cube). When she finally grokked my meaning, she said something I never forgot: "Poutrew, your job is cool but you aren't" I thanked her for the compliment.

You make a life where you are right now, not where you may find yourself in a years time. As far as I know, she is still travelling, looking for...whatever she hasn't found yet. IMO too many people are just wanderers in this life. I suppose most women find me too 'average'... and that is just the way I want it, until I run into a female who is smart enough to look past the carefully manicured exterior...

 

I suppose most women find me too 'average'... and that is just the way I want it, until I run into a female who is smart enough to look past the carefully manicured exterior...

 

and in this post there lies the complexity of men.....an oxymoron of maledom......

 

a manicured man who would pick dirt up in his hands to let it run through not only manicured hands...but carefully manicured hands to confucious a woman a well proved point....a man who would book a room casually close to an ice machine...love a good ice cube myself...its simple...its clear as crystal and it soothes a throat without the after bloat.....complexity in averageness....interesting concept...complete with wink at the end...

 

where you know there's something else meant behind the words...that are not so average....nor simple..deb

[coolheadal]

Can your wife be too "ordinary"?

 

I admit that I am not the most exciting person in the world. I'm not any sort of an "adrenaline junkie", and for me, a nice evening is maybe going out for dinner, talking a nice walk, sitting on the beach, maybe watching an old tv show or sitting out in my "night garden" ( I have a small section with plants that bloom at night, like moon flowers). I do like to take vacations, but I absolutely hate the resort in cuba/cruise ship idea. I have more fun renting a house and car and driving around the back country of wherever we are visiting.

 

My days are filled with work, shuttling my kids to their appointments, looking after the house and my birds. My big dream in life would be to have a tiny little cottage on the beach somewhere on a tropical island. There'd be a small village nearby, and so long as I have internet access I can still work. We'd keep a small home here for the summers, and go there in the winter.

 

In short, my life is average and probably sounds kind of boring to others. I'm happy though.

 

My question is ( and I know no one can answer for my spouse), in general terms, is this enough excitement in life for the majority husbands?

 

One thing that I have read sometimes on here is posts written by men who are looking for more excitement in their lives. Ours life together just isn't that "thrilling", but I'm happy.

 

I'm not looking for pats on the back here, but honest responses. Is a simple life enough for you? I've asked my husband about it, and he tells me it is. I'm not doubting his honesty, but I would like to discuss the topic here.

 

You two created life and spawn newborns who are now being shuttling around. What's the point to your story anyway. You have a life you wanted now enjoy what you created. I mean really get serious here. So much complaining about you don't like your lives because it's too boring. Then why did you both get together, have love make love have kids then enjoy a new life with them. Instead now your lives are boring.. Do you want me to tell what's boring others complaining about their lives with kids. Those of us who don't have your life are bored to death. So what life would we want your life and you want our life. If you look at what we have I am sure you would choose your life over ours any day.

[wmacbride]

People fight tooth and nail to finally have what you described. And you say it's average? boring? I don't understand. Why do you like it if you think it's boring? I like it because it is heaven. I don't understand you...

 

I am happy. Our oldest is doing well in college and has just had her first ever job interview, which I hope went okay for her. I know ti was hard, as she has aspergers and some other issues,but she plucked up her courage and went and in and did it .

 

Our younger daughter is also coping with issues, but like her sister,she's not one to let it get her down,and she's planning on majoring in astrophysics in university. She's got the grade and math aptitude for it.

 

Our son is also doing well. He's a "techie" like my husband, and finishing up middle school. We're hoping to get hm in to a life skills program ( he's autistic, but not as high functioning as his oldest sister).

 

Our life hasn't always been easy, but it could have been so much worse. We are lucky in so many ways.

[wmacbride]

You two created life and spawn newborns who are now being shuttling around. What's the point to your story anyway. You have a life you wanted now enjoy what you created. I mean really get serious here. So much complaining about you don't like your lives because it's too boring. Then why did you both get together, have love make love have kids then enjoy a new life with them. Instead now your lives are boring.. Do you want me to tell what's boring others complaining about their lives with kids. Those of us who don't have your life are bored to death. So what life would we want your life and you want our life. If you look at what we have I am sure you would choose your life over ours any day.

 

I think you have misunderstood what I was getting at.

 

My youngest child is 14 and my oldest is 19. We have been married almost 20 years, and I asked not because I am bored, but because I love my spouse and any ideas that I can get that will help me engage in kindness for him are always welcome.

[wmacbride]

Behind the mists and in fading light,

a night garden breathes fragrant blooms of white,

an ordinary woman sits with folded hands of care,

in her night garden she finds her stillness there,

her quietness belies her worries and trials,

she thinks of her children and then she smiles

barefoot she feels the cooling grass,

and wonders how long does stillness last,

her quiet heart sated by shades of blue,

dreams of a house by the sea with a husband true,

 

her hair in soft wisps around her face,

an ordinary woman, a night garden

just a mother in a most special place

just a poems distance away,

written by a poor writer some day

ordinary words about an ordinary life

that become immortal.....(at least on debs facebook....;0)...)

....deborah

 

That's beautiful

[cocorico]

There's spontaneous and spontaneous.

 

Spontaneous is good when you have a baseline of security. When your life is in turmoil, spontaneous is just chaos and threat.

 

Spontaneous needn't be on a grand scale. It doesn't have to be arriving home with plane tickets to depart tomorrow for six weeks on Bazaruto. It can be sending flowers to your love at work, just because. Or packing the kids off (to friends, or to the movies, or wherever) for an unscheduled evening alone. Or even something mundane, like rearranging the bedroom and dressing up.

 

Upsetting routines can be difficult with kids on the spectrum, depending on their needs, but within those confines there are still possibilities, and the small act of trying something says a lot about caring for what makes him happy.

 

We are empty nesters. It's great not having our lives dictated by the needs of kids. We love it and it's easily the best time of our lives. But we've gone and tied ourselves down in other ways, with companion animals, organisational commitments etc because those enrich our lives, too. There's a time for spontaneity and a time for quietness and calm. Getting the right balance for yourselves is what matters.

[Leigh 87]

Excitement to me is travel. I havea partner witj my same view.

 

You need to know if you are a person that needs that little bit extra above the bare necessities and merely existing. And moreover; what this additional thing is.

 

A partner who is content with kids and a mortgage and merely enjoying a roof over their head and decent food on the table - I would personally need to travel overseas every few years even if I have a kid (I would also never have more than one kid since having a kid means you need to be very well off in order to enjoy even the occasional overseas trip)

 

Needing certain things in order to meet your quota of "excitement" also means you should have common knowledge that you must go without or be frugal in other key areas in life.

 

I cannot stand people who are stupid enough to believe they can go and get their "excitement", which udually cost money, and go overseas yearly and yet they still expect to also drive new cars and afford piano lessons for their kids. People need to at least know that they need to work very hard and either do a difficult degree that is employable or open businesses that are successful.

 

Men or women that are happy to be perpetually broke in the name of their "excitment " are total turns offs. They don't want to work hard enough to afford to have their extravagant lifestyle AND also have savings for a rainy day and to retire by age 70.

 

I am turned on by me who want overseas travel as a lifelong "thing". I couldn't live my best life with merely a mortgage and a family. I need to explore sifferent countries in and off during my life time.....yet I am equally turned off when they also don't have a fairly detailed plan as to what areas they will need to go without (say, weekly meet ups at pubs or fancy restaurant meals) in order to accommodate for their "excitment"

 

So by now you would have noticed that my one thing in life that I need in order to remain excited.....is travel.

Mostly overseas. Not fancy hotels either; while I do enjoy the occasional pampering session and 5 star hotel, if I had it all the time it wouldn't be so special and lose its appeal.

Road tripping trying the countries cheap local junk foods and seeing new countries is what my partner and I need throughout our lives to feel excited. Hostels are fine. A clean bed and hot water is all I need to reach my potential happiness wise. Fancy things minus travel would do nothing for me.

 

However the fact is, unless you both have good jobs and if you have kids - u pretty much need to be rich to afford this sort of "excitement ". So for us, life is about compromise. We don't need kids but would like 1- and know we will have to travel less and come up with new ways to remain excited. We both enjoy our own hobbies and interests but deep down, we do both need to get out of our own country every few years to remain all that thrilled about life and to appreciate being home bodies (which we do but the contrast of travel sure makes us enjoy day to day adulthood more).

 

I would be not as into a man who didn't share my life goals. A man who was into being the ultimate saver and retiring early and having more than 1 child - Would bot stimulateor motivate me as I dream a bit bigger than merely having kids and a mortgage.

 

I believe my partner and I compensate for our desire for overseas travel with the fact we would never jave more than 1 kid, and we do not enjoy going out and eating out and socialising. Money wasted going out to meet frienfs always feels like such a waste to us! We also don't nees new cars or expensive clothes (I OP shop ! I nees the good tailord stuff but buy it second hand).

 

Reckless stupidity- and indulging ones "excitment" needs with little to no recourse for ones actions and basically being broke on retirement.... turn off. Yuck. How dumb and entitled to either want it all or to be so stupid as to assume the average person can live large yet save for retirement!

 

Well thought out thrills - yes please -! I needed someone to be a home body with, and live cheaply with so we could save for the bigger things we both seem to need.