Bastile Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 I have a philosophy about dating/relationships that is probably unorthodox (and probably unpleasant) for most of you, but is based on a scientific framework. In evolutionary terms, the inferior specimens don't get to mate or pass on their genes. This is a form of natural selection, wherein the alpha males, or the best and brightest specimens get to reproduce. I feel that I'm an inferior male, and I think trying to curtail a natural process by somehow trying to fabricate myself to become a more desirable specimen so that I could get a girl would disturb the natural order. I don't think girls should date me or have sex with me because it wouldn't be right. I think the superior and stronger males should have the girls. This world should belong to the best and brightest. That is how we became who we are today. The inferior were knocked out of the gene pool. So there's that road block that makes it tough for me to accept that I should have a girlfriend. You guys might think this is erroneous, but I'm constantly constrained by this philosophy, and I think, despite what people might think, that it's the right philosophy. Why should I have a girl when it is clearly a violation of how things should be? Man, how old are you? You sound really young. Wish I could shake you. Stop coming up with ridiculous theories. Go out and chat up some women. Your dad did it. So can you Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 But none of them like me. The solution to your problem is there. Why do they not like you? Are you clean? Polite? Interesting? Approachable? Those are some of my priorities when meeting new people. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) Your time is coming. I knew few men in your position that all found wives or serious girlfriends once they hit 35+. In early 30s, many women that are single or just became single are in a rush to settle down so much that they drop all standards. As for you, just focus on finishing education, finding a stable job and if possible save up towards a house deposit. If you do that, in about 5-10 years, you won't even have to speak at all Edited June 12, 2017 by Eternal Sunshine 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 12, 2017 Author Share Posted June 12, 2017 Every point of advice here is given with the assumption that I'm a normal person. The typical advice doesn't apply to me because I'm below what constitutes a normal person. Things don't happen to me the way they happen to others. There is a whole different set of laws that govern me. I'll never attract women because I'm sub-standard. I'm not a real man. I'm well beneath that mark. That's why people inherently treat real men with better respect than they treat me. It stands to reason, and I want to make sure this world belongs to the best, the brightest, and the strongest. I'll do so by eliminating myself. Link to post Share on other sites
korenna Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 well with your attitude there's no wonder you dont have one. if youre lacking self confidence its going to be hard to find anyone id suggest going out more or if you have friends start hanging out with their group of friends thats how tons of people hookup through "friends of friends" and if real life efforts are still dry try online dating its pretty huge now. its not really my forte but may be better for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted June 12, 2017 Share Posted June 12, 2017 I'll never attract women because I'm sub-standard. I'm not a real man. I'm well beneath that mark. That's why people inherently treat real men with better respect than they treat me. It stands to reason, and I want to make sure this world belongs to the best, the brightest, and the strongest. I'll do so by eliminating myself. Sorry, but human society is not a wolfpack. It does not stand to reason to indescriminately pick select animal behavior and apply it to humans. Actually, the modern welfare state in many western societies turns your assumption into the exact opposite. I also had a form of handicap up until my mid 20s. It simply meant that I had to work around it. Was it easy? No, certainty not. Or let me phrase it differently: Don't you think there are women in situations similar to yours? What do they do? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 It would take an especially insane girl with zero taste and standards to go for me. If a girl did like me, I could only wonder what would he wrong with her. The other big problem is that by this point all girls are experienced with boyfriends and sex. They'll expect me to be experienced too. I would have to do 10-15 years of catching up on crucial stuff (stuff that has to be learned growing up, and at certain points in your life, and can't be learned later in life) just to able to date. If I wait even longer, there will be no women left who are closer to my level of experience, and most of them will have been married at least once and have kids. The attitude will be much different then. It'll be more geared towards marriage and family, whereas I just want to make up for the time I lost on experiencing youthful relationships etc... I think I've reached my conclusion to give up and never try. It's just too overwhelming and I already know that there is no female human being who has ever existed or will ever exist who would find me attractive and be willing to be with me. It is unanimous. Absolutely no girl who has ever lived or will ever live would or could ever like me or be attracted to me even slightly. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 It stands to reason, and I want to make sure this world belongs to the best, the brightest, and the strongest. I'll do so by eliminating myself. Ok... I don't know what's the protocol here for dealing with suicide posts. This thread is definitely not about dating. I don't want to say the wrong thing and push you over the edge. Maybe someone can direct you to some suicide prevention hotline. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Ok... I don't know what's the protocol here for dealing with suicide posts. This thread is definitely not about dating. I don't want to say the wrong thing and push you over the edge. Maybe someone can direct you to some suicide prevention hotline. I meant eliminating myself from the gene pool. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Code123, I'm pretty sure your perception of yourself is distorted. At first I had no clue about this but when you wrote that there are intelligence shortcomings I realized you see yourself differently than you really are. Code!!! You are very intelligent! It's totally obvious from your posts that you write and think quite well above average! So now I think your other evaluations are probably off target, too. Here's my suggestion. DO quit thinking about getting a girlfriend and focus on activities you love! Practice them, learn more about them, seek out to be involved in every way you can with them. If you do this it will build your confidence and you will also appear your most enthusiastic, alive, best you could possibly be self! It will be then that you'll begin to be able to start learning how to relate to all types of people. Eventually you'll meet someone and fall in love together! Just forget about it and pursue life to the fullest! Get involved! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 As for you introversion? I wish I could help you there as well, but that's something you have to work on that even the best of the best of therapists can't bring you out of. No you don't. Introversion is not a flaw, nor does it necessarily hold us back from success. I'm very introverted and have had several relationships, often with other introverts. I have maintained friendships for years with extreme introverts. Shyness and self esteem issues are another story and would need to be overcome, or at least improved, should OP want a relationship enough to reject his perceptions rather than accept these so called facts of being incapable. It can be done, I'm proof of it. But whether or not you're willing to take the courageous step and do something is the decider. If you want it enough then you'll do it. If not, I'm not exactly sure what you're asking of us or hoping to get out of this thread. Please clarify! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Introversion is not the best descriptor. I would use words like "undesirable", "loser", etc. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Introversion is not the best descriptor. I would use words like "undesirable", "loser", etc. Why do you think those things about yourself, and what are you doing to change them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Why do you think those things about yourself, and what are you doing to change them? I don't think they can change. They are fixed/inherent. Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1971 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I don't think they can change. They are fixed/inherent. Until you can see that they actually aren't...So is your future as far as dating goes. I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Until you can see that they actually aren't...So is your future as far as dating goes. I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. No it's not mean. Just fact. I agree. Though I disagree that it can change. I think I'm inherently unworthy and a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I don't think they can change. They are fixed/inherent. Desirability is not factual. When you or anyone else calls you a loser or undesirable, it is an opinion. Beauty and such things truly are subjective and THAT is the fact!! It is a fact that you see yourself as unworthy but others will beg to differ. What are you hoping to achieve here on LoveShack and how can we help? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 Code, I think I asked you this before, but I can't find an answer. Have you ruled out any social skill disorder? Autism Spectrum Disorder for example? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted June 13, 2017 Author Share Posted June 13, 2017 Code, I think I asked you this before, but I can't find an answer. Have you ruled out any social skill disorder? Autism Spectrum Disorder for example? No I haven't. I'm sure I check the blank for every disorder you can think of, but I don't really care to check into it quite honestly. Just being myself is a disorder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 It's been several weeks since I posted here. Figured I'd just post for the heck of it... Life hasn't changed. I'm still just spinning my wheels and contemplating life/death every day. I see no conceivable life for me that's useful or worthwhile. I'm positive that the so-called "help" people tell me to seek will not make a difference since the only things that seem to be wrong with me are things that are unfixable/inherent. I know this tends to frustrate people because they think I'm just being contrary, but that's why I believe that one cannot truly understand until they've met me and seen first hand who/what I am. To provide further evidence of my inherent undesirability, I've been using several different online dating services for the past few months, including tinder, PoF, Zoosk, and Match. I've sent out messages to dozens and dozens of women trying to strike up conversation. Not a single message has been replied to. I think at this point I'm abandoning all hopes and wishes for things to improve. The fact that I'm an inherent loser and undesirable that no woman wants or will ever want has been made crystal clear to me throughout my entire life going all the way back to early childhood. I'm completely hanging it up now. It'll never happen, but all things considered, that's probably a good thing for the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 TI've always been very introverted and secluded. I'm 26 and never had a girlfriend, and never really spoken to girls much. I'm also a virgin needless to say. I've always lived under the mentality that girls and girlfriends weren't for me, I'm not supposed to have them, and that I might as well understand from the onset that I'm not to have any of that. All of that is for the other guys... the REAL men. I find that the number of girls in the entire world who would like me is likely zero, and I'm not being hyperbolic with that conclusion. I can relate because I sort of used to do that. Though I did have girlfriends, I felt like you when I didn't have one. But the truth is you are being hyperbolic, and this is all something you're doing to yourself. Stop it, and if you don't know how, seek therapy. Seriously, with the right therapist (and you might have to go through a few), you can change your life. I just now notice that you resist and keep calling yourself a loser in subsequent posts. If you truly believe that, why are you here? What do you want from us? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 What do you want from us? I'm sorry. I understand. I don't want anything. I'm just trying to get it all out and establish it to myself. Also just looking to get it off my chest. I think the best you all could do is to help reassure me that even though everything I've said about myself is true, things will be okay for the world. The world will still turn, and things will be okay for the world as a whole. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Code, do you have friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Code123 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 (edited) Code, do you have friends? Not really. I guess I used to have some people you might call "friends", but they weren't really. I haven't talked to any of them in years anyway. Edited August 17, 2017 by Code123 Link to post Share on other sites
bson1257 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I have the same mentality as the TC. The way I see it, the only chance we got is to join a bunch of online dating sites and go for the undesirables. Link to post Share on other sites
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