What is he thinking???

[LindsM7]

Need advice... I posted a couple of days ago. My boyfriend and I broke up last Monday. We had been dating 4 months and it had been a LDR where we lived three hours apart.

 

The reason for the break up was that I felt like he was not putting the effort into the relationship that I wanted him to and he admitted to not wanting to fully commit because he was scared of things not working out due to our circumstances of not being able to have a normal relationship because of the distance.

 

I was upset because I felt like if he really wanted it to work, he would have put in the full effort. At the same time, I knew that I would not be completely happy with someone that was not on the same page as me. We broke up last Monday night. Tuesday we emailed a couple of times just talking about everything that we had discussed the night before.

 

Wednesday he forwarded me an email but did not email. Both Thursday and Friday he emailed me...just talking about his day, asking about mine, etc. So...I did not call him all weekend nor did he call me. Monday and Tuesday he emails me both days just asking about my weekend, what I have going on etc. So...now I start questioning why he is contacting me like he is...is he missing me, is he bored, does he just feel bad and is trying to be my friend. I have not emailed him first since the break up. So I have not received on from him yesterday or today and it is bothering...because I am used to hearing from him. Is he testing me...or does he not really care. Thoughts...advice....

[FWIW]

If you really want it over, stop emailing him back and stop wondering what he's thinking.

If you want him back, then for heaven's sake talk it over before he gives up.

Sorry, but's there IS no middle ground, unless you both agree quite clearly that you'll stay in touch as friends, but also that nothing more will ever happen. Good luck!!

[aznatama]

I did that when I broke up w/ my ex last year, mostly becasue I wanted to stay in touch becasue regardless of the circumstances, she still had that place in my heart and I still cared for her, it' just that a relationship wouldn't work out since we were too different.

 

Your ex probably still cares for you and wants to be friends, and probably having slight withdrawl symptoms too. However, I'm not sure if you'll be able to handle staying close friends with him or not. I know my ex wasn't and I had to cease communication with her for 6 months b4 I could talk to her again. Of course, you could be fine with this, but your ex may be the one who isn't.

 

you should talk this over with him and find out what direction he wants to head towards. No matter if he wants to get back together or just be friends, you should ask yourself if you're to handle it.