aliveagain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 (edited) Your being played, just as she played you in the past. This affair started when you made changes in your career so you could be with her more. For the first 10 years of your marriage you spent 6-8 months of every year travelling for work, how do you know this is her first rodeo? I think she is used to being a part time wife, you have no children together, she has a whole other life that doesn't include you. Am I wrong but didn't the good doctor kind of throw your wife under the bus by denying a physical affair with her to his wife? She has a funny way of showing you she will do anything to win you back. Why would she bring the POS with her when she's trying to prove the affair meant nothing and she's willing to do anything to save your marriage? Her actions don't match her words, believe the statements she made on the recordings. Proof your being played. Show them to his wife, he has a history of cheating, don't let him get away with his part in the destruction of your marriage. Your wife has a hidden anger, bringing him into your bed is proof of that. She allowed him to defile your sanctuary, didn't even try and hide it from your neighbours. It is obvious that many at the hospital where they both work know about her affair, think about how much shame that brings to you and your sister who works with them. Cary a voice activated recorder on you when you have to be with her. Edited July 12, 2017 by aliveagain 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Ocdude Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Believe it or not, Doctors have to follow a code of ethics that are not required by other fields of employment by law. See if you can get any evidence that sexual relations were carried out in the hospital. if that is the case then disciplinary action is required by any medical staff bylaws regarding code of ethics and conduct if reported. If he loses or has a reduction staff privileges at an hospital, it is required to be reported to the medical board. I forgot what your WW does at the hospital. She would just be fired if it occurred on work premises. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 UB after re reading your entire thread it is my opinion that she is punishing you for your work ethics and later because of your refusal to have children with her when she decided she now wanted children. An affair, specially a long term affair is a rejection of all that you are. Most betrayed spouses view cheating as "I wasn't good enough because all that I am wasn't enough to keep her faithful." Your the one left wondering about what was real in your relationship and what value you had in it. She's showing you that she has abandoned you(that's why I said her actions don't match her words), she has her other man supporting her and by bringing him to a such a critical meeting just screams she's playing you to me. My guess is you found out before they had all their ducks in a row. They have a game plan and loosing their jobs will seriously affect their plan. That's not your problem but it may hurt your settlement, talk to a lawyer, find out when is the best time to disclose the affair to their employer. You absolutely need to show proof to the other betrayed spouse. When it comes to infidelity there are only victims and villains, only you can decide when you stop being a victim. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chaparral Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Let the Posom's wife see the tape. As a matter of fact make her a copy. How would you feel if you were in her shoes? As it is you are now complicit in their affair by helping them hide it. If you really are worried talk to your lawyer, let him show it to her. Has anyone ever heard of a home monitoring device being illegal. Help this lady just like you would want someone to help you or your loved ones. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Aside from causing the good dr. to sh@t himself.....laughing loudly, I thought she had agreed not to be in contact with him. Curious as to what her reason was to drive to your meeting with him....very odd maybe ballsy? Seems this is always the way she has done things. Using you while doing whatever she pleases isn't new to her. She's used you a LONG time - you just didn't know it. A woman intending to reconcile doesn't bring her lover in the car. Good job tapping his window! She must be an idiot! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Strange way to try to convince you she still wants to work it out, showing up to talk to you with the other man in the same vehicle. It sounds like she didn't realize you saw she wasn't alone in the car. Yes...I agree, it is strange. I believe that they are both so afraid I might spill the beans on them that they are both in job survival mode and are commiserating together like scared rabbits. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 When did she tell you she went NC with the OM doctor to save her marriage? Glad you are getting out. talk to your attorney about the tape. would you attorney give a copy of the tape to her attorney? Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Yes...I agree, it is strange. I believe that they are both so afraid I might spill the beans on them that they are both in job survival mode and are commiserating together like scared rabbits. I gotta say... if you make that deal and she follows through with the good divorce deal, OK you have to stand by it. But I have to say that I would burn both of them at the hospital. Not only would Dr. Dick loose his wife, he would really take a hit with his reputation and lose his job as well. Priceless. I don't know if I would make that deal. But I would understand if enough money was involved... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 UB after re reading your entire thread it is my opinion that she is punishing you for your work ethics and later because of your refusal to have children with her when she decided she now wanted children. An affair, specially a long term affair is a rejection of all that you are. Most betrayed spouses view cheating as "I wasn't good enough because all that I am wasn't enough to keep her faithful." Your the one left wondering about what was real in your relationship and what value you had in it. She's showing you that she has abandoned you(that's why I said her actions don't match her words), she has her other man supporting her and by bringing him to a such a critical meeting just screams she's playing you to me. My guess is you found out before they had all their ducks in a row. They have a game plan and loosing their jobs will seriously affect their plan. That's not your problem but it may hurt your settlement, talk to a lawyer, find out when is the best time to disclose the affair to their employer. You absolutely need to show proof to the other betrayed spouse. When it comes to infidelity there are only victims and villains, only you can decide when you stop being a victim. It's funny that I didn't even think about her having an affair during the time before I found out. I guess if you are not looking for something you won't find something. Maybe they were being extremely careful. Once I started to question her activities, I think I was lucky that I caught them when I did. At least they didn't have any time to come with some sort of game plan. I have to tell you, it is an awful way to find out. I talked to the his wife and told her that I will leave seeing the video up to her. Their act was captured by cameras set up for home security purposes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 When did she tell you she went NC with the OM doctor to save her marriage? Glad you are getting out. talk to your attorney about the tape. would you attorney give a copy of the tape to her attorney? She stated NC right after getting caught. Of course she would, why would she not. It seems like the course of action by all WS's that get caught. It was a statement I didn't put a lot of credence towards. She is pretty shallow. My attorney knows about the tape and wants me to keep it until he may need it. I really don't think her attorney will ask for it to be placed into evidence. But if he does, so be it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Dr's BW has the right to the truth and evidence to support it. She also may report them to the work place and your hands would be clean. You and I are on the same page. Even though I told my wife my requirements for a clean and easy break, the Doctors wife can to the reporting. I didn't tell her outright to do this, but there were several hints on what she can do to "upset" his lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 You want to get your divorce finalized before she loses her job! Do it while she is earning money - that way you won't be obligated to pay her (as much) support money. Keep moving the D process along as quickly as possible before the hospital takes action to let her go. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Seems this is always the way she has done things. Using you while doing whatever she pleases isn't new to her. She's used you a LONG time - you just didn't know it. A woman intending to reconcile doesn't bring her lover in the car. Good job tapping his window! She must be an idiot! I didn't think she was an idiot, but I guess she is proving me wrong. Learn something new everyday. I think she is so panicked that she is doing things without thinking them through. A lot of bad people do this. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 She stated NC right after getting caught. Of course she would, why would she not. It seems like the course of action by all WS's that get caught. It was a statement I didn't put a lot of credence towards. She is pretty shallow. My attorney knows about the tape and wants me to keep it until he may need it. I really don't think her attorney will ask for it to be placed into evidence. But if he does, so be it. Her brand of NC is that she tells you what you want to hear - and she goes and does whatever she wants to do. I bet she's been like this in many areas of her life and the way she lives/has treated you - it's never isolated to one area of living - people who are this way (passive/aggressive) do this in most areas of their lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Believe it or not, Doctors have to follow a code of ethics that are not required by other fields of employment by law. See if you can get any evidence that sexual relations were carried out in the hospital. if that is the case then disciplinary action is required by any medical staff bylaws regarding code of ethics and conduct if reported. If he loses or has a reduction staff privileges at an hospital, it is required to be reported to the medical board. I forgot what your WW does at the hospital. She would just be fired if it occurred on work premises. My sis is putting her ear to the gossip thread within the hospital. She tells me gossip in hospitals travel faster than a wind blown wild fire. My wife is a social worker at the hospital. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Yes, of course she does. To not share this with her would be both immoral and evil. I told her I have evidence and I am leaving it up to her to determine what to do with it. It was interesting, she told me that the doctor wants to come after me legally...I SAY BRING IT ON. Because of my work, I have been legally threatened by the best of them...drug dealers...bikers...white collars, if he thinks this will scare me, he will be disappointed. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 It's funny that I didn't even think about her having an affair during the time before I found out. I guess if you are not looking for something you won't find something. Maybe they were being extremely careful. Once I started to question her activities, I think I was lucky that I caught them when I did. At least they didn't have any time to come with some sort of game plan. I have to tell you, it is an awful way to find out. I talked to the his wife and told her that I will leave seeing the video up to her. Their act was captured by cameras set up for home security purposes. When you trust a person with your life why would you be looking, most of us all missed the red flags. You were away at least half the year, every year for the first 10 years of your marriage. There is a very strong possibility that she has done this before. A 3 year long term affair takes a lot of deception and planning, they are not easy to pull off. She always knew in advance when he would be in your home, your neighbours even noticed. Premeditated murder of your marriage, book'em. Get tested for all STD's, they are not using protection, you've shared more with the other man then you really want to think about. Sperm can live 5 days in a vagina, sorry to bring that up friend, we have all been through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 Now that is funny! Wonder why he was even there? So, she's inside crying to get you back and he's hiding in the car...affairs make no sense to me. I admit it, it was childish but what the hell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 The doctor would be smart to shut his mouth at this point. I don't understand the basis of his legal argument. Something like: "I was having sex with his wife and he told someone!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 I know right! I know to a lot of people when someone says "I'm gonna sue you" they get scared and want to back down. It's normal behavior because nice normal people don't get sued every day. I think this is why people throw out the "sue" word...just to make you go away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 12, 2017 Author Share Posted July 12, 2017 When you trust a person with your life why would you be looking, most of us all missed the red flags. You were away at least half the year, every year for the first 10 years of your marriage. There is a very strong possibility that she has done this before. A 3 year long term affair takes a lot of deception and planning, they are not easy to pull off. She always knew in advance when he would be in your home, your neighbours even noticed. Premeditated murder of your marriage, book'em. Get tested for all STD's, they are not using protection, you've shared more with the other man then you really want to think about. Sperm can live 5 days in a vagina, sorry to bring that up friend, we have all been through it. I have read a lot of your comments to other posters and I feel we are on the same wave length. Sometimes I read posts from others and wonder why they would even think of going back to the person who violated their trust and cheated on them. To me, the love I had for the person pre-cheating where most of the memories are good are happy. However, post-cheating is where the memories are terrible and for me the love, trust and intimacy is gone. Why would a person wish to stay in a relationship where it's negative and stressful. She is not the only woman in the world and I am positive there are others who would be kinder, more loving and compassionate. You can find love at any age, don't be afraid of change. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I have read a lot of your comments to other posters and I feel we are on the same wave length. Sometimes I read posts from others and wonder why they would even think of going back to the person who violated their trust and cheated on them. To me, the love I had for the person pre-cheating where most of the memories are good are happy. However, post-cheating is where the memories are terrible and for me the love, trust and intimacy is gone. Why would a person wish to stay in a relationship where it's negative and stressful. She is not the only woman in the world and I am positive there are others who would be kinder, more loving and compassionate. You can find love at any age, don't be afraid of change. Frankly speaking, I have zero tolerance for infidelity at this stage of my life. They know that going into a relationship with me. Infidelity breaks our contract, termination is the path I would take personally. With the proper counselling and contractual safeguards in place there is nothing stopping you from being a couple again if the love is still there and they earn another chance. Why waste time on an unremorseful cheater that knows how to push your buttons. If you can't trust them don't be with them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I told her I have evidence and I am leaving it up to her to determine what to do with it. It was interesting, she told me that the doctor wants to come after me legally...I SAY BRING IT ON. His apparent claim is that he had a "reasonable expectation of privacy" when he was in your home, in your bed, screwing YOUR wife? That is downright laughable. Wouldn't he love the publicity generated by such a lawsuit! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 (edited) His apparent claim is that he had a "reasonable expectation of privacy" when he was in your home, in your bed, screwing YOUR wife? That is downright laughable. Wouldn't he love the publicity generated by such a lawsuit! I am sure that Uncle Boogie can find some reasonable expenses he can charge back to other man like the rental for use of his home say at $1000 per day. The rental and use of his wife's vagina, what's a high end hooker charge these days? He can charge for parking, $45 an hour should cover it, neighbours can confirm his use. Linen service, meals, toiletries. House cleaning and laundry service, someone had to get his DNA off your bed and your wife's under garments. What's a marriage worth today, loss of income, loss of assets, moving expenses, alcohol(he probably drank his share of wine and Blue Label Scotch). Now expense that over a 3 year period then add in the lawyers fees you'll need to spend for the dissolution of your marriage because of his interference, throw in a little for contingency. That should about do it. The POS will be living in a fridge carton behind Chan's Chinese Palace if he's lucky. Wait until his wife finishes with him. Edited July 12, 2017 by aliveagain 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 (edited) Wait until his wife finishes with him. Yes, I think Doc Dick's wife might be ready to blow his world into a million pieces. That dumb ass first denied his affair, and thus the existence of video evidence, then said he would sue over the video. What a schmuck, he let his pride blow his cover by admitting there is a video to his wife!! Oh what a tangled web we weave. Edited July 12, 2017 by Zona 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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