Investigation: The begining of the end?

[kgcolonel]

I only have one thing here...It appears as your ex is learning the meaning of Karma....

 

How are you and your new endeavors going?

[Cullenbohannon]

Or sell it? heh

 

I will buy it. Google the car. Very nice.

 

Giving the car back, (a gift to the marriage) is like giving the entire marriage back. Erasing the good with the bad. Now she has nothing. Expect the knock on the door. Plan B is looking pretty good right now.

 

So seems to be the story of the WS who pays a heavy price for thinking fantasy is real life.

Edited December 15, 2017 by Cullenbohannon

[aliveagain]

She has a lifetime to think about her actions. She can start the process of fixing herself at anytime, my guess is she won't, she'll rely on others for relief. You have the video's with full sound of them defiling and polluting your sanctuary that can easily be replayed if you feel weak. You decide how you want the rest of your life to play out. You decide if she's part of it or not. Peace.

[Ruby Slippers]

Real justice is so rare. It's great to see.

[BetrayedH]

She has a lifetime to think about her actions. She can start the process of fixing herself at anytime, my guess is she won't, she'll rely on others for relief. You have the video's with full sound of them defiling and polluting your sanctuary that can easily be replayed if you feel weak. You decide how you want the rest of your life to play out. You decide if she's part of it or not. Peace.

 

Just to add...She apparently hasn’t started fixing herself if she was at the wedding with the good doctor.

[Uncle Boogie]

The wedding. This is what I found out regarding the whole wedding situation. I told my friend months before the date that I thought it was a bad idea to attend since the ex was in the wedding party. Over time, he and I conversed over friend stuff topics with him trying to change my mind always a underlying topic. Eventually I came to the conclusion that..."why should I not attend, I can't let this woman dictate how I live my life". So I went and the rest is history.

 

However, I now have more information. This was a complete set-up for my ex to speak to me, and I fell for it hook-line-sinker. I just don't understand how those you think are friends or lovers will just throw you under the bus for their own selfish reasons. Christ...who can you really trust. Why even put yourself out there. Why are people for F'n cruel. You think you are acting in good faith, only to find you have been used and discarded with the rest of their trash. Why bother at all? What really pisses me off is that I am now questioning all my other relationships...thinking "why do they want me as a

friend?"

 

So now I am finding myself distancing most of my relationships except from immediate family. Any suggestions?

 

UB

[Timshel]

You have experienced a major life change.....change. Not many things will be the same, including friends and yourself.

 

My suggestion, go to the mountain for a bit, leave things alone. The other side is better, but you have to get there first.

 

Of course it was a set up, those fake gasps... Your wife and the bride are best friends. When I was 18 I played such shenanigans with my bff and her broken up boyfriend at a party.

 

NC, let the lawyers handle it. Any woman who will have sex with another man in your bed does not love you.

I'm a woman, btw.

[DKT3]

The wedding. This is what I found out regarding the whole wedding situation. I told my friend months before the date that I thought it was a bad idea to attend since the ex was in the wedding party. Over time, he and I conversed over friend stuff topics with him trying to change my mind always a underlying topic. Eventually I came to the conclusion that..."why should I not attend, I can't let this woman dictate how I live my life". So I went and the rest is history.

 

However, I now have more information. This was a complete set-up for my ex to speak to me, and I fell for it hook-line-sinker. I just don't understand how those you think are friends or lovers will just throw you under the bus for their own selfish reasons. Christ...who can you really trust. Why even put yourself out there. Why are people for F'n cruel. You think you are acting in good faith, only to find you have been used and discarded with the rest of their trash. Why bother at all? What really pisses me off is that I am now questioning all my other relationships...thinking "why do they want me as a

friend?"

 

So now I am finding myself distancing most of my relationships except from immediate family. Any suggestions?

 

UB

At what point do you say F it, she isn't a person I want in my life. Believe it or not it's a powerful statement to make to yourself. Trying to figure out small details of who did what and what were Thier intention only serve to keep you stuck.

[Mr Blunt]

So now I am finding myself distancing most of my relationships except from immediate family. Any suggestions?

 

My suggestion would be to stick with immediate family only. Also, check out each immediate family member to make sure they are trustworthy. Most of mine are trustworthy but not all!

[Origin]

What she is displaying is regret. Not remorse. Its completely different. Regret is tied to what she is loosing. Money, Stability, A committed loving husband. Who really knows maybe some time in the future OP might see real remorse from her but I doubt it. I could be wrong. I am ok with that. I just think the best way to look at this is who cares what she does from her on out. Its now his future and only his is what is important. Finding indifference is the goal.

 

C

 

I agree 100%. It’s my first comment(still on Paige 19) and I wanted to add that’s its really difficult to reconcile when she went to such brutal lengths. It’s like it wasn’t enough to cheat, but to cheat in their BED!! OMG imagine you sleeping in the same sheets on the same bed where somebody was ****ing what you thought was your loving spouse.

 

The amount of disrespect is unreal.

 

Also, like I said I’m still on pg.19, but this chick was falling apart. She is all over the place wanting to reconcile while still being with Dr. Dick, trying to talk to UB and then calling him and ******* and saying “WE will get you”(or something along those lines) only to fall apart at the b-day party.

 

As somebody said, her brain couldn’t compute how fast her life was falling apart.

[kgcolonel]

Bogie...I'll take a different tact...

 

You don't cut down an apple tree because one apple has a worm....every friendship must stand on its own. It is normal to begin to question everything after all you've been through however, question them / evaluate them individually. If you find all but one or two friends need to be pruned, you now have certainty of those one or two friends. Don't lose your true friends because one has a "worm", (pun intended).

 

He showed very poor judgement and it will cost him but don't make everyone else pay for what he did.

 

JMHO.

 

KGColonel

[kgcolonel]

BTW, I am still interested as to why, if she just wanted to speak with you, Dr. D!ck was present....that to me is a really interesting question.

[bigman1]

BTW, I am still interested as to why, if she just wanted to speak with you, Dr. D!ck was present....that to me is a really interesting question.

 

THAT struck me as very odd, too. It actually makes zero sense. I am trying to figure out how the friend figured it'd be a good to set it up. How his bride worked that into her wedding when that's her day, why the ex... Just the whole thing.

[Colin Grant]

First, let's not dignify dick by acknowledging his professional certification. It's inconsequential and hides the fact that he's a certified dick. He's just TD the dick to me. Just had to get that out.

 

Mr. Boogie:

 

Love the way you handled matters. I read stories on here and can't even finish reading them sometimes, as I read guys on their hands and knees asking for a CHANCE of reconciliation when it should be the other way around. I understand being in love, but one should love themselves first and foremost, and regaining dignity and respect for one's self is the first step for doing so. This is a non-negotiable reality.

 

Anyway, you may or may not have an answer concerning this, but I'm puzzled why your x wife hadn't kicked the dick to the curb. The FIRST order of business for a WS when seeking to reconcile is the immediate and complete removal of the AP. She hasn't demonstrated one meaningful step towards achieving her goal aside from begging and pleading. Remorse entails among other things, complete ownership of the betrayal and communicating a complete understanding of the damage she has caused from your perspective.

 

She hasn't taken any steps to complete remove the dick from her life. In fact, he seems to be present nearly every time you see her, even if social events. Every time he's even in the same location that she is, she's supposed to not be there. PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

When he hid in the car and another time when she expressed (we, will come after your legally), I'm thinking, she's still on his side. We?????? WTF are you saying? Do you hear yourself? Stupid!!!

 

It was all about her, as she never sought independent counseling if I read this thread correctly. If sincere, she would have spent time seeking legitimate ways of reclaiming your trust in her. Regardless of the fact that would't be possible, for her sake she still should have fixed herself first and foremost.

 

Unrelated question: She knew you were a former cop and in the security business. Her intellect was either turned off, or she didn't have it in the first place. I'm just surprised she wasn't smart enough to contemplate the fact that your background and resources would require her to take smarter, more deceptive strategies to pull of her clandestine activities. To me, it subconsciously revealed the significance of her waywardness and respect for you. It's one thing to love a person, but that doesn't mean you respect them necessarily. The respect HAS to come with the love in a marital relationship. It's a prerequisite IMO.

[usa1ah]

That is really f’d up. They set you up to talk with her and dr dick is there as well.

 

You will be able to pick out your true friends. They will be the ones that are there when you need them and they listen to what you say.

 

They also try and set u up with their friends or sister.

 

Best of luck.

[Uncle Boogie]

You have experienced a major life change.....change. Not many things will be the same, including friends and yourself.

 

My suggestion, go to the mountain for a bit, leave things alone. The other side is better, but you have to get there first.

 

Of course it was a set up, those fake gasps... Your wife and the bride are best friends. When I was 18 I played such shenanigans with my bff and her broken up boyfriend at a party.

 

NC, let the lawyers handle it. Any woman who will have sex with another man in your bed does not love you.

I'm a woman, btw.

 

 

These are wise words. It is still unbelievable to me that someone you loved and loved you back would just drop you like a bad habit. It really shakes my foundation of trust.

[Uncle Boogie]

That is really f’d up. They set you up to talk with her and dr dick is there as well.

 

You will be able to pick out your true friends. They will be the ones that are there when you need them and they listen to what you say.

 

They also try and set u up with their friends or sister.

 

Best of luck.

 

Thanks for the reply. It is amazing to me that at my age I have to reevaluate my relationships to see which ones are true or just B.S.

[Uncle Boogie]

Hey man, coming from one guy who's wife had an affair with a doctor to another - enjoy starting your life over and having a fantastic time doing so. No kids = clean break city. It's a **** sandwich at the beginning, but trust me, the sooner you begin moving forward you'll be too busy living your life to worry about hers. If she's still with the Doc, that's a road that's going to lead to a dead end. They might be all smiles on the outside, but in my opinion a person in that kind of position that has an affair with a married woman - they don't change and have no morals. They're very good at rotating different women in and out of their lives.

 

Best of luck with everything! Put the right people are

 

Thanks for the good thoughts. I have dealt with a lot of scummy people in my profession and believe it or not most have more loyalty than the ex and the good Dr.

[Uncle Boogie]

You are certifiably insane.

 

GO GET THAT CAR BACK!!

 

I understand why, but jeez, that's a big give.

 

 

Man, I understand where you are coming from with the car. However, it is just a thing that has too much connection with a time in my life that is just too painful to have any fun with it. Let her choke on the damn thing

[Uncle Boogie]

Let me tell ya something: friends are replaceable. Wives are replaceable. When you have a person or people in your life who are liabilities rather than assets to you and your peace of mind, it is time to disassociate yourself from them...forever.

 

 

I cleaned house on my life after I split from my former WW. I immediately dumped every common friend we shared, and you know what? It didn't affect my life one iota. I made new friends and reestablished friendships that I had allowed to languish due to wanting to appease my ex. I will never make that mistake again. I had to go cap-in-hand to many an old friend who I had shunned because my exWW didn't like him. The reason she didn't like them, I realized later, was because they were honest, decent, moral people like myself.

 

 

Your response really hit home with me. The car is just a car. I too have had friends that I lost touch with due to the ex not liking them for one reason or another. Maybe you can throw your karma cap my way when I make the "forgive me tour" to my old friends.

[Uncle Boogie]

You have experienced a major life change.....change. Not many things will be the same, including friends and yourself.

 

My suggestion, go to the mountain for a bit, leave things alone. The other side is better, but you have to get there first.

 

Of course it was a set up, those fake gasps... Your wife and the bride are best friends. When I was 18 I played such shenanigans with my bff and her broken up boyfriend at a party.

 

NC, let the lawyers handle it. Any woman who will have sex with another man in your bed does not love you.

I'm a woman, btw.

 

 

Thanks for the very kind words. I think I can finally picture the other side and I am visualizing myself living in that world. When it comes to my ex and her motives and actions, my opinion is one of disbelief and anger. I have read other posts where the spouse just up and leaves or goes into an affair without any thought about their partner. I always thought normal people could not do this which leaves it to the psychopaths.

[Uncle Boogie]

BTW, I am still interested as to why, if she just wanted to speak with you, Dr. D!ck was present....that to me is a really interesting question.

 

This is what was explained to me. My ex and her friend wanted me to attend the wedding, but my buddy invited me to the dinner without the two psycho sisters knowledge. Hence his smug smile and the gasps when I slid into the dinner. As for Dr. Dick, I have no frick'n idea why he was there. My sis tells me that he moved into our old house after I left the country. I am so disgusted that sometimes it just makes me shack with anger. Working out at the gym until I can barely walk helps reduce my anger to a tolerable level.

[Uncle Boogie]

My suggestion would be to stick with immediate family only. Also, check out each immediate family member to make sure they are trustworthy. Most of mine are trustworthy but not all!

 

Outstanding advise. My immediate family are pretty cool, but they are family.

[Uncle Boogie]

I agree 100%. It’s my first comment(still on Paige 19) and I wanted to add that’s its really difficult to reconcile when she went to such brutal lengths. It’s like it wasn’t enough to cheat, but to cheat in their BED!! OMG imagine you sleeping in the same sheets on the same bed where somebody was ****ing what you thought was your loving spouse.

 

The amount of disrespect is unreal.

 

Also, like I said I’m still on pg.19, but this chick was falling apart. She is all over the place wanting to reconcile while still being with Dr. Dick, trying to talk to UB and then calling him and ******* and saying “WE will get you”(or something along those lines) only to fall apart at the b-day party.

 

As somebody said, her brain couldn’t compute how fast her life was falling apart.

 

 

I don't have to imaging them sleeping in my bed on my sheets. I have wide angle full HD color with sound to screw with my head. You know...I thought she had a brain but now I just don't know.

[Timshel]

Thanks for the very kind words. I think I can finally picture the other side and I am visualizing myself living in that world. When it comes to my ex and her motives and actions, my opinion is one of disbelief and anger. I have read other posts where the spouse just up and leaves or goes into an affair without any thought about their partner. I always thought normal people could not do this which leaves it to the psychopaths.

 

I can be super brash. What a crappy situation. I post when I care but my care can be brutal.

 

Not psychopath...confused people do confusing things. Don't try to make sense of it because it doesn't matter.

 

I would chalk the wedding behavior up to your wife being really horrible at monkey branching.

 

Good luck to you Uncle Boogie, the walk up the mountain, it's worth it.

 

Best.