doyathinkso Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Do you live in a state where 'alienation of affection' is still on the books? If so go after the good doctor with a vengeance. Hit him where it hurts, his wallet and his reputation. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Update: Those who stated that she would do a full court press were spot on. She knows were I am staying and has been calling and coming over constantly. My buddy said that it is getting too much and his wife wants me to find a new place to live. I don't blame her at all, she was my wife's best friend at one time. So I found a new condo in the downtown area. I decided not to leave and to take back the initiative in my life. I contacted my wife and told her I would meet her at our favorite coffee shop. i got there early and sat in my car to see if she brought reinforcements with her. She did. Her mom, sister, sister-in-law and brother. I called her and told her I wanted to talk to her alone and send her minions away, which she did. I walked into the shop and she started crying these big bellowing sobs, which included gasping for breath and water works. It was quite impressive. She immediately went into the "cheaters chant" of sorry's and it didn't mean anything B.S. She stated that she would do anything to save our marriage including MC. I asked her why do all spouses who get caught cheating then want to start MC. Why don't they request this before the affair. To me it is too little too late by then. Maybe I am wrong, but it always seems to be a cop out to me. Anyway, I told her we were done and I was out. She stated that she was going to win me back at all costs. I told her she didn't have that much collateral and that my mind was made up. My questions to the group: What do you think she has in mind? What do I need to prepare for? And it still continues.... She is going to start love busters on you! I saw it change another guy. He woke out one day about a month out of the divorce being finalized and all his anger was gone. She loves it out of him. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Sad to see how this is playing out, and sad for her to see the life she enjoyed so much is slipping away from her. Theres always consequences for actions. We all have a choice to decide if the actions are worth the consequences before we act on them. Apparently they were for her. Not said for her at all. Just like every cheater out there. This should be the result. If it was maybe there wouldn't be so many cheaters out there. A cheater gets what ever comes to them and then some. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Since you won't pay her the attention she wants from you now that you've found out - expect her to have some emergency or crisis that pulls you in. An unexpected illness or accident that makes you come running... the knight in shining armor do run -maybe she thinks you will. In any case - don't run to her... you can tell her it's for her to handle now, not you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 Two quick thoughts: there is a huge difference between embarrasssment and shame. One can be very embarrass about a video made public but not personally ashamed. Second did a search in "slave phone". Lots of ads for master/slave S/M sites and old fashion phone jacks (for landlines). I suspect the slave phone creates a three party conference call without the two parties in the original call knowing about the third. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 moderator opened for new discussion as per the thread starter, update pending Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Update: Sorry, I had a job on the East coast that I needed to attend to and could not respond to all those who replied to my current unfortunate situation. I will be more prompt in my replies. So to continue...while I was away, my wife constantly tried to contact me. I mean she called, contacted the hotel I was staying at (always place a no contact with the front desk to stop any unwanted calls to your room). I was there 8 days and she called over 100 times. I would not and could not respond to any of them. I don't know why, but I review some of the tape whenever I feel my disdain starting to wain which keeps me on track with moving on without her. I really don't know if this is healthy and it is really out of character, but I have this sick desire to keep reviewing her betraying acts to keep my anger at a high level. Maybe I need some IC regarding this because I have never felt this way in my life. After arriving back to my new residence (condo) that I moved into right before my trip, I was relatively certain that she could not find where I was living. I was wrong. Several hours after arriving, she was at my front door. I asked her how she found me but she would not give that up. She wanted to tell me everything hoping that once everything is out we could start working on our relationship. As she was talking, her emotions broke open and she started crying and trying to hug me. It's weird but this made me sick to my stomach. Their affair started over three years ago when she and Dr. worked a case together. He supposedly gave her the hard press and after several dinners, back rubs and presents she started to fall for him. I had to ask her"...so ...where was I during this?" She stated that I was working too much and she didn't feel I was giving her enough attention. I could not believe this. I reminded her that: I left my career; had date nights several times a week;listened to her talk about her work; and supported her during difficult times with work and family 3 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 She's having you followed. Just be aware that you're being followed. Don't fall for her lies and bs. Keep moving forward! Has she been served yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 LTA and it was all your fault? You have nothing to work with here. If you're smart you go tight no contact and move on from this nightmare. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Tell her to go see her doctor friend. 3 years!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 I told her to take two doctors and don't call me in the morning. The depths of deception is just mind boggling. She told me that she will never cheat again and I told her that that's what I thought our marriage vows were about. Guess not. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 She's having you followed. Just be aware that you're being followed. Don't fall for her lies and bs. Keep moving forward! Has she been served yet? She might be. I have ways to determine that. I guess I will implement them to see what I catch. Never thought I would have to stoop this low. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 LTA and it was all your fault? You have nothing to work with here. If you're smart you go tight no contact and move on from this nightmare. After reviewing several other posters, it appears that the WS's indiscretion is always the BS's fault. But I guess you have to look at where the statement is coming from. I thought I put in a lot of effort those three years, and I thought we really had fun and were connecting. I guess if it wasn't this excuse it would have been another. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 Did y'all know that each state has a Physicians Governance Board of Review where anyone can anonymously report any medical or ethical issues for peer review and investigation. Just food for thought. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 UB It's kind a hard to believe but you had not one thing to do with her cheating. In all reality you weren't even on her mind when she was doing it. cheaters cheat and she's just following the script like it was written out directly for her first thing they do is blame it on you. she would've cheated on who ever she was married to, remember cheaters are cheaters and cheaters lie whole lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 UB It's kind a hard to believe but you had not one thing to do with her cheating. In all reality you weren't even on her mind when she was doing it. cheaters cheat and she's just following the script like it was written out directly for her first thing they do is blame it on you. she would've cheated on who ever she was married to, remember cheaters are cheaters and cheaters lie whole lot. And, lying liars lie. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Did y'all know that each state has a Physicians Governance Board of Review where anyone can anonymously report any medical or ethical issues for peer review and investigation. Just food for thought. Yes but an anonymous call to the board about a physician's philandering has no weight. His lack of personal ethics does not violate any standard of care nor doe sit speak to his competence as a doctor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Yes but an anonymous call to the board about a physician's philandering has no weight. His lack of personal ethics does not violate any standard of care nor doe sit speak to his competence as a doctor. Doctors are just people, the board only gets involved if there is a risk to patients or minors. Two health professionals having an affair is hardly big news. Happens every day I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 She sounds like a classic narcissist. Stay strong and move on. Her blame shifting is disgusting BTW. Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Update: I don't know why, but I review some of the tape whenever I feel my disdain starting to wain which keeps me on track with moving on without her. I really don't know if this is healthy and it is really out of character, but I have this sick desire to keep reviewing her betraying acts to keep my anger at a high level. Maybe I need some IC regarding this because I have never felt this way in my life. You're punishing yourself, stop it! Yes, get some IC. Best thing I ever did for myself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trtroles Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Ohh I am sorry my man.Three years is too long and she is blaming you for her affair. What a woman!!! The only way to heal from all of this is to distance yourself from her.If you keep letting her in your life and continue to listen her BS story your mental health will only get worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Zona Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Yes but an anonymous call to the board about a physician's philandering has no weight. His lack of personal ethics does not violate any standard of care nor doe sit speak to his competence as a doctor. A call to his employers HR on the other hand... Link to post Share on other sites
Oberfeldwebel Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 There are many ways for her to find out where you moved to, including PI, well meaning friend, or just by chance someone saw you moving into the complex. I would refrain from viewing the video, the mind movies will last for a long time without reinforcement. Time to get papers in order and just move on with your life. You have a successful business, so that will help keep you occupied. Additionally, look for things that help improve you physically, mentally, financially, personally, etc. Counseling would be a good idea for you to deal with this situation, so you can move forward. It will take some time to move passed this experience, but don't let it ruin you life moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 She had all these years during her infidelity to think about her actions and how they would affect you, still didn't stop her did it? Show her the same respect. Expose the O/M professionally and personally, talk to a lawyer. You can do better then another man's seconds. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Uncle Boogie Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 You are so right. Link to post Share on other sites
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