What up with women these days trying to get "taken" men?

August 4, 2005

What is up these days with women trying to get "taken" men?

I am in my second marriage (first husband passed away) and in both relationships I have had to deal with other women wanting my man and knowing flat out he was taken. I mean these girls even knew me. My man would even get rude and abrupt with these women and tell them that he was not on the market and some of the women would still try to win him over.

When a man tells a women that he is taken, why can't she politely BACK OFF? Can't these women take a clue?

I have seen this in so many women these days. It seems like to me that it is worse with women trying to steal some other woman's man compared to a man trying to steal another man's woman.

Is it just me or are other people going thru this same thing more and more and seeing it happen more and more?

August 4, 2005

There's no such thing as honor anymore.

August 4, 2005

In today's world, a lot of individuals are putting their wants ahead of what is right. I know, it sucks, but that is how some of today's society has become.

August 5, 2005

Anyone have a huband/wife or even a boyfriend/girlfriend that you know is totally faithful to you, but there is someone that is attempting or wants to attempt to take your partner away from you?

If you have or are experiencing this, do you mind telling a little bit of your story?

and/or even

How you and your partner cope(d) with it?

August 5, 2005

Has anyone ever been the person that is trying to get another persons partner?

Do you think now: "What was I thinking?"

And can you explain what you were thinking at that time when you were trying to pursue someone else's partner?

August 5, 2005

Here is my story-

My now husband dated a girl before me. He met her after his separation.

They got hot and heavy all of a sudden and then she didn't want to be exclusive. He did. She was a single mom in alot of financial problems and he helped her out a good bit with money. She wanted to date around, and he got tired of waiting on her so he asked someone else out (not me). She went ballistic and insisted on being exclusive. Since he was in love with her he told the other girl he couldn't see her anymore because he wanted to work on the relationship with the first woman. That lasted a month before she wanted to date other people. It was just a bad relationship. He met me and we started dating- she still continued to call him etc- I think because she wanted more money.

One night she called him and asked him out after she knew he was seeing me seriously. Later that night we ran into her at a club. She caused a whole big scene. I told her that she should have more respect for herself than to act that way. She kept calling and stuff. He was trying to stay in a bit of contact with her because she was paying him back the money she had borrowed from him. He finally just had to say, don't call me, don't e mail me, etc. It took a bit but when he just didn't answer her calls etc she got the picture. Now, we married and it's not an issue at all.

You sound like something more might be going on here. Do you trust your partner? My question is, why are these people not getting the hint?? Also, is he relaying what is said etc to you perhaps to make you jealous?? You know- look what a good thing you have- all these other girls want me. If so, that would not be cool and I would need to rethink the relationship if I were you.

As a off topic- have you heard Gretchen Wilson's song "Homewrecker"? That's what your post reminded me of!

August 5, 2005

People (men and women) are more attractive to others when they have a significant other. They're not single, they're taken, so they must have something that others want. Women, especially, like to compete for the "prize."

Ever see an ugly guy who isn't exactly a ladies man suddenly start dating a very attractive woman? People are a little shocked at first, but as soon as they break up, there are other attractive women waiting in line to see what all the fuss was about. He's now a hot commodity.

August 6, 2005

My boyfriends ex girlfriend never payed any attention to him when they were together. When he got with me she wanted to "work" on their relationship. I know he is faithful, but it sucks that she would still go after him knowing I was in the picture. He stopped talking to her, and hopefully that will work.

August 6, 2005

When a man tells a women that he is taken, why can't she politely BACK OFF

Challenge.

Women need a challenge.

Most women are sane enough to allow their cognitive faculties to intervene and save them from a world of s***, but some aren't.

August 6, 2005

Originally posted by sadfriend
What is up these days with women trying to get "taken" men?

Men who are "taken" already are seen as more valuable by women. If they already "belong" to another woman then they have the seal of approval and must have something going for them. Also, there is the built in challenge of stealing him away. This is how women compete with one another. Men compeete in their careers and on the football field.

When it comes to getting men no woman has a real girlfriend.

August 6, 2005

I think some people go after married men/women because it is safe. They are just looking for sex and don't want a commitment so a married lover is pretty safe, especially if there are kids involved. This use to go for men, but in todays society, there are men and women out there just looking for sex and no commitment and if the other person is married, it is not only a challenge, but it is safe.

August 6, 2005

Originally posted by alphamale
Men who are "taken" already are seen as more valuable by women. If they already "belong" to another woman then they have the seal of approval and must have something going for them. Also, there is the built in challenge of stealing him away. This is how women compete with one another. Men compeete in their careers and on the football field.

When it comes to getting men no woman has a real girlfriend.

I am a woman, and My boyfriend makes comments all the time like "you dont trust me" No sweetheart, I dont trust women.

There are so many women out there who enjoy the challenge of getting something that does not belong to them. There are women out there who ONLY go for married men..

No its not right, but its just what some people do. I think the reason I dont trust women, is because I am a woman and I know how they think.

So Mr. Alphamale, I agree.

August 6, 2005

Originally posted by lvgrly
I am a woman, and My boyfriend makes comments all the time like "you dont trust me" No sweetheart, I dont trust women.

There are so many women out there who enjoy the challenge of getting something that does not belong to them. There are women out there who ONLY go for married men..

No its not right, but its just what some people do. I think the reason I dont trust women, is because I am a woman and I know how they think.

So Mr. Alphamale, I agree.

I was just about to write the same thing, almost verbatim. My boyfiend's *last* girlfriend still calls him up late at night (like after 11:30 pm) just to chat. Excuse me?! And she keeps asking him out for lunch dates or to see a play or have dinner. WTF?! I know this is going on because I'm often in the same room with him when she calls. He looks at the caller ID to see who it is, even if he doesn't answer the phone. And I know the look on his face when it's *her.*

Mind you, they had a 12-hour long break up before he started dating me. They'd never gone all the way together when they were dating, and they only dated for a few months. So, in my opinion, this woman is a little unbalanced. Granted, I'm only hearing my boyfriend's side of things -- but I trust him. He still tells me I have *trust* issues, though, and I patiently explain to him for the nth time that I *do* trust him, but I *don't* trust her. He has told me he still wants to be friends with her, and, even though I'm not entirely happy with that, I certainly won't tell him who he can be friends with! BUT -- and this is a big BUT -- if he wants to do things with a woman friend that he has been intimate with and professed his love for in the past, then he invites me along, too. He doesn't understand why I make this condition. "Don't you trust me?" And again I explain. I have told him I know how women think, and I can see it in her eyes (I've met her) that she is still carrying a torch for him and hasn't let go.

Men. Clueless when it comes to women. Truly.

So last week he had a nice BBQ party for friends, and he invited her, and she came. She was so out of place at the party, didn't know what to say to anyone, and tried to cozy up to my guy the whole time. But as the evening wore on and people stopped doing the social mixing, we sat down in groups to talk and my BF sat with me, holding my hand and playing footsie, while she sat at the other end of the table, clearly uncomfortable. I hope she got the message.

So, when it comes to men, if two women are interest in the same guy, the odds of them being best friends is slim to none!

August 6, 2005

Originally posted by amerikajin
When a man tells a women that he is taken, why can't she politely BACK OFF

Challenge.

Women need a challenge.

Most women are sane enough to allow their cognitive faculties to intervene and save them from a world of s***, but some aren't.

I haven't read all the replies but I have to agree w/ this one.

As for OW trying to get my H, yep has happened to him several times and all of the women knew he was M, knew me, and even knew we had children.

I will try to make this short. First part of our M he worked w/ a woman that was also M. We were friends. Well, I never went out w/ this woman w/ just us, we would go out as a couple or a group of friends. She would always flirt w/ H.

The other woman was his BF's W. They were having M problems. H was at the bar and she was there. She told H if he wasn't M she would take him home and kept flirting w/ him.

Third was a woman that use to date one of H's friends. H was at the bar and she started flirting w/ him. She kept putting her hands on his hips talking to him. He said he backed away from her.

Fourth, was the one he actually had an A w/. We were having M problems (M 11 years) and he started an emotional A w/ a female co-worker. I heard the rumors from friends. He denied it. I kicked him out of our home and he filed for a D. He continued the A which then turned physical. A few months w/ the exOW he came crawling back to me. I did give him a second chance.

B4 the OW he had the A w/ I wasn't too concerned about all these women that were flirting and hitting on H but now, if I find out anyone is flirting w/ him there will be he!! to pay. I wont put up w/ it again. When women use to flirt w/ H I didn't mind. They found him attractive (which he is) and they liked flirting w/ him, but I knew he would be coming home to me. I trusted H w/ all my heart that he would never cheat, but then he did. The exOW had persued H for three years b4 he had an A w/ her.

August 8, 2005

I totally trust my husband 200%. Him and I when we were dating promised each other that we would tell one another everything even if we knew for fact that it would tear the other one apart. We are totally an open book to each other.

I have no idea why after being told once then twice why these women did not get the clue but I know right now the one definitely got the clue and I believe the other one just got the clue not too long ago cause we have not heard from both of them in a while. The one got intouch with me cause my husband, I, and her were friends but ever since I e-mailed her some wedding photos after hearing she was getting married, I have not heard from her. Hubby has not heard from her in a long time.

He is not telling me any of this to make me jealous. Sometimes I was around when they were trying to reach him. But if I wasn't then I could tell when I seen him that he was aggravated about something and as soon as we would see each other he would tell me everything. And it takes a lot to get my husband aggravated or even mad. Like I said our lives are an open book to each other with no pages unturned.

I noticed that a lot of you said that the woman that was after your man was an ex of his. Well, none of these women are his ex's. Both were friends. One was not only his friend but also my friend. I was my husband's first gf cause he believes in God telling you whom he wants you to marry. He never even dated these two women even just as friends. He was not interested in them.

August 8, 2005

These are very good posts and I appreciate every one of them!

Any other stories or comments that anyone would like to make on this subject?

August 18, 2005

Originally posted by sadfriend
Has anyone ever been the person that is trying to get another persons partner?

Do you think now: "What was I thinking?"

And can you explain what you were thinking at that time when you were trying to pursue someone else's partner?

I'm guilty. I have been the girl who is after the taken guy before. i used to have a thing for a guy for like a year, he had a girlfriend and i was single, we'd just kiss and stuff. he told me i was pretty and that he wanted me and stuff and made me feel good (i have low self esteem). at the time i thought i wanted him as a boyfriend but this never happened because he was one of those doormat guys that had gfs that he would complain about but never had the balls to leave. finally one night stuff happened and he decided he wanted me after all of a year and a half. pretty much straight away, all that was appealing to me when he was taken was making me NOT want him!!

for me it wasnt the competition with the other girl, it was that if i could successfully get someone to go to me while with someone else, it made me feel better about myself.

i caused a lot of stress to the girl he was going out with, and now i understand and feel bad. i would not want girls calling up my boyfriend now, not in any circumstances. then again, i trust my boyfriend and love him and know that he loves me.

i've grown up a lot since then!!

Originally posted by Lonestar
People (men and women) are more attractive to others when they have a significant other. They're not single, they're taken, so they must have something that others want. Women, especially, like to compete for the "prize."

Ever see an ugly guy who isn't exactly a ladies man suddenly start dating a very attractive woman? People are a little shocked at first, but as soon as they break up, there are other attractive women waiting in line to see what all the fuss was about. He's now a hot commodity.

i first saw my boyfriend before we met with his ex. this also caused a HUGE thing in our relationship for some time. read my post on the effect some stuff had on me and our relationship, bearing in mind that i am a VERY jealous and insecure person link to my post--------- http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t68915/

Leeseeeeeeeeeee

August 18, 2005

it is not exactly women of today. and it's not a new phenomenon. this has been happening forever. it is just more out in the open now because people care less about getting caught, or they are more willing to take the risk.

August 19, 2005

this girls just can;t get they own man i mean there is a saying "other fish in the sea" they needa find they own. HOMEWRECKERS

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What up with women these days trying to get "taken" men?

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