Facebook/instagram/ social media?

[d0nnivain]

Im a good boyfriend and a good guy. I dont see what iv done wrong. Im always respectful of womens choices. Isnt that what a guy should be?

 

You are a good guy & a good BF. Problem is she is not a good GF. You are being a doormat. She has some agenda that is not in your best interest. Some day you will wake up & realize that. No sex is worth the emotional BS this woman is causing you

[fred123]

You are a good guy & a good BF. Problem is she is not a good GF. You are being a doormat. She has some agenda that is not in your best interest. Some day you will wake up & realize that. No sex is worth the emotional BS this woman is causing you

 

Ok so i had a conversation with her about everything you guys have said. Sh3 said " people can say what they want but im in love with you bla bla bla"

She says that she know she doesnt pay for the hotels but she is there for me in other ways. She is supportive and listens to me on the phone.

She is the type of girl that doesnt put things on social media unless she is sure she will get married to the guy. Just like i think gaeta said she doesnt want to put things up on facebook unless its a sure thing only for us to finish and then have to explain to everyone so that does make sense i guess.she said we arent there yet to meet peoples friends etc and she isnt comfortable or ready yet. But she said her parents want to meet me and asked when im free! So im really excited!!!wooop

[d0nnivain]

Glad you spoke & that you will be meeting the parents. When do you get to meet the friends? Her excuse about still keeping you away from the friends is lame. She's hiding something . . . probably someone. This girl just keeps stringing you along & you happily let her.

[Gaeta]

Other than meeting in a hotel once a week what else do you do together?

 

I agree with D0nnivain that she is hiding something. Her parents may not know her dating history so they're not a threat if they meet you but her friends would know if she is seeing someone else or if she is still keeping in touch with her ex.

 

I was in a situation like you once. He would not want me to meet his friends or family, he would not want us as friends on FB, and his excuses were he needed time, why rush things we have a life time together etc etc. I believed him like an idiot and endured it ONE year. At the end of the year I found out he had 2 (not 1) but 2 other girlfriends.

[fred123]

Other than meeting in a hotel once a week what else do you do together?

 

I agree with D0nnivain that she is hiding something. Her parents may not know her dating history so they're not a threat if they meet you but her friends would know if she is seeing someone else or if she is still keeping in touch with her ex.

 

I was in a situation like you once. He would not want me to meet his friends or family, he would not want us as friends on FB, and his excuses were he needed time, why rush things we have a life time together etc etc. I believed him like an idiot and endured it ONE year. At the end of the year I found out he had 2 (not 1) but 2 other girlfriends.

 

Wow so sorry to hear that. So mean and cruel!

She has changed since we have been bf and gf. Took me 3 times of asking and convincing for her to say yes.

She said a few months ago that if i was her bf then i wouldnt have to fight with her diary and that it would be different and she would want to see me more than once a week.

We have been to dinners and stuff and ice cream.

I have invited her to stuff with fri3nds or to meet my sister but havnt happened yet.

I feel that this wild deer analogy is so correct. Im so scared and fearful to ask or to do anything for fear of pressuring her or coming across like i want commitment.

I mean if i ask her to do something romantix ( like a romantic restaurnat) im scared she would turn around and say that i want more. Thats how iv been feeling for months. Now that she is my gf i have the green light to ask her to do all this right? And she cant give me these excuses?

 

Also we did spend valentines with each other and we bought each other gifts and she sent a pic of what i bought her to her best friend so thats good sign?

 

I may have a feeling that because her ex is friends on facebook and she doewnt want to scare him off by mentioning or putting me on there? She did love him and he broke up with her.

I am friendw on facebook with her so that is a good sign?

 

Ps went to buy chocolates and card for her parents when i do see them. My sister helped me out

[d0nnivain]

The chocolates are good. The card is a little weird.

[fred123]

The chocolates are good. The card is a little weird.

 

card is because they are inviting me over for lunch.

 

donnivain- does my last post make a difference to anything. i tried to explain more detail and give good signs she is into me. are they good signs?

[Gaeta]

I may have a feeling that because her ex is friends on facebook and she doewnt want to scare him off by mentioning or putting me on there? She did love him and he broke up with her.

I am friendw on facebook with her so that is a good sign?

 

I think her ex is the heart of your problem.

 

Why did he break up with her?

 

How long they dated?

 

Did she introduce him to her friends and family and after how long dating him?

[d0nnivain]

They are good signs fred123. The problem remains that those few little things don't outweigh the significant bad thing: that she's hiding you & the relationship from her friends.

 

You are a sweet guy. From all your posts here I have deduced that you are a bit of a late bloomer, socially unsophisticated & inherently trusting in a naive way. Thus I fear for you. This girl seems to be jerking your chain. Because you are getting regular sex you are reluctant to rock that boat. She knows this & seems to be manipulating you because she knows she has you by the short hairs.

 

I hate to see mean manipulative people suck the life out of nice guys like you. I have a bad feeling that when she's done, you will come out jaded & bitter.

 

You really need to develop a backbone & stand up for yourself. I doubt you'll do it but at lunch with her parents causally mention that you haven't met her friends. Watch her squirm as she tries to explain that one.

 

Your needs are not being met here. If you don't advocate for yourself, she will continue to walk all over you & you will never be happy.

[fred123]

I think her ex is the heart of your problem.

 

Why did he break up with her?

 

How long they dated?

 

Did she introduce him to her friends and family and after how long dating him?

 

How would i know all this information?! And why would i ask?

Isnt each situation different? Thats what i thought.

 

Also a few weeks ago one morning she texted me saying " i had a dream about us and that we had kids together. She said that her mother said our babies would be cute". I got reqlly 3xcited she was telling me all this. I mean iv not had dreams like this.

Isnt this a good sign?

Edited June 15, 2017 by fred123
Add more info

[Gaeta]

How would i know all this information?! And why would i ask?

Because it's important to know who you are dating. You don't interrogate her on the details but it's important to know your GF dating history. Example my BF before me had 2 relationships of 10 years. That tells me he is good at long term and commitment. If he had 10 relationships of 2 years each I would not have dated him, it indicates he's unstable.

 

Ask this woman how long she dated her ex. It's a normal question.

 

Also a few weeks ago one morning she texted me saying " i had a dream about us and that we had kids together. She said that her mother said our babies would be cute". I got reqlly 3xcited she was telling me all this. I mean iv not had dreams like this.

Isnt this a good sign?

 

Words are cheap. As per what we've read so far she is all words and no actions.

 

Did you tell her when you are free to meet her parents? Are you set up to meet them this weekend?

[fred123]

Because it's important to know who you are dating. You don't interrogate her on the details but it's important to know your GF dating history. Example my BF before me had 2 relationships of 10 years. That tells me he is good at long term and commitment. If he had 10 relationships of 2 years each I would not have dated him, it indicates he's unstable.

 

Ask this woman how long she dated her ex. It's a normal question.

 

 

 

Words are cheap. As per what we've read so far she is all words and no actions.

 

Did you tell her when you are free to meet her parents? Are you set up to meet them this weekend?

 

I asked at the beginning some of these questions. She ddint like to talk much about it whereas i like to get to know the person. She doesnt like to talk about feelings etc.

Im always free and make time as much as i can to see her . She is now up for going to a spa and told me to find something:)))

 

Shall i book something andnpay for it so she cant get out of it rather than ask her when she is free?

[Gaeta]

I asked at the beginning some of these questions. She ddint like to talk much about it whereas i like to get to know the person. She doesnt like to talk about feelings etc.

Im always free and make time as much as i can to see her . She is now up for going to a spa and told me to find something:)))

 

Shall i book something andnpay for it so she cant get out of it rather than ask her when she is free?

 

Lets back track a bit.

 

When are you meeting her parents?

 

So all she has to do is tell you she feels for something and there you are walking all over yourself to get it to her..........and you think she does not use you as a wallet!

 

Tell her you got a big IRS bill and all your extra money for the next 3 months will go at paying your taxes, lets see how much she likes you when she hears this.

 

Heck not even 3 months, tell her for the next 3 weeks and she's gone!

Edited June 15, 2017 by Gaeta

[the_lost_1]

3 things to keep private:

 

1. love life

2. income

3. next move

[coolheadal]

I asked at the beginning some of these questions. She ddint like to talk much about it whereas i like to get to know the person. She doesnt like to talk about feelings etc.

Im always free and make time as much as i can to see her . She is now up for going to a spa and told me to find something:)))

 

Shall i book something andnpay for it so she cant get out of it rather than ask her when she is free?

 

Your her escape from her parents. She can tell you anything and wow you believe her so much. Your going to get hurt by her she's still has feelings for the Ex BF aka lover, love of her life. Your just the stand-in for her. Even though you might meet her family and friends you can't tell me you don't doubt she might be still have feelings for her Ex.. They never really get over the Ex..

 

Play and listen to the Song called Harry Styles - Sign of the Times. Play that for yourself first and then play the song in her presence. Look at her face and seem if she starts to weep. If she does then she still has feeling for the Ex-. Another song you can play to get her going would be.

 

Mariah Carey - I want to Know What Love Is Just play it you can find them on Youtube. It might trigger and hidden emotion in her. You need to know if she has something she's hiding from you. These two songs have meaning to them. It's going to be hard to explain, but trust me play them and see her reaction.

 

I know you love her but if her heart isn't her high priority for you then you need to know. She not 100% ready for anything you have to offer.

[MountainGirl111]

What do you guys think about if the girl you are dating wont put anything up on here?

Is it a reason to freak out?

Want to know reasons why people hide you on social media and when ahould you expect your partner or the girl you are seeing to.mention you on there?

 

Know what I really think? I think people should stop living their lives through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or whatever. And, they shouldn't rely on conducting personal relationships via online means. Sorry if that seems harsh, and I'm NOT totally against social media. But, it does have a down side, so to speak.

[fred123]

We broke up. Shes not over him i think. She said she loved him and cared for him more than me. (I knew it) she claims she does love me and fallen for me.

 

I then asked her why we neevr spent new years eve or did anything or invited me anywhere. She said it was because i was intense on the second date and was asking her questions about exes and talking about relationships and feelings. Sh3 said im quite a emotional guy and she didnt know that. She said if i wasnt like that on the second date she would have done all these things with me.

She said she felt pressured to do things with me and that i pressured her to drop her guard down and it doesnt work like that.

 

Its all my fault. I should not have been intense and asked her about certain things then she would have introduced me to her fri3nds and stuff

[Gaeta]

We broke up. Shes not over him i think. She said she loved him and cared for him more than me. (I knew it) she claims she does love me and fallen for me.

 

I then asked her why we neevr spent new years eve or did anything or invited me anywhere. She said it was because i was intense on the second date and was asking her questions about exes and talking about relationships and feelings. Sh3 said im quite a emotional guy and she didnt know that. She said if i wasnt like that on the second date she would have done all these things with me.

She said she felt pressured to do things with me and that i pressured her to drop her guard down and it doesnt work like that.

 

Its all my fault. I should not have been intense and asked her about certain things then she would have introduced me to her fri3nds and stuff

 

Fred: I am so sorry I know you are very sad.

 

None of this is your fault and even if you had acted differently on your second date it would not have changed the fact she was and still is in love with her ex.

 

This whole story about feeling pressure is the first excuse that came up on top of her head to turn the table on you. She isn't mature enough to admit she has been misleading you for 7 months!! Telling you what you did on your second date put pressure on her the for following 7 months if laughable.

 

Don't stay alone, call a friend and tell him you need a budy to keep you company.

[coolheadal]

We broke up. Shes not over him i think. She said she loved him and cared for him more than me. (I knew it) she claims she does love me and fallen for me.

 

I then asked her why we neevr spent new years eve or did anything or invited me anywhere. She said it was because i was intense on the second date and was asking her questions about exes and talking about relationships and feelings. Sh3 said im quite a emotional guy and she didnt know that. She said if i wasnt like that on the second date she would have done all these things with me.

She said she felt pressured to do things with me and that i pressured her to drop her guard down and it doesnt work like that.

 

Its all my fault. I should not have been intense and asked her about certain things then she would have introduced me to her fri3nds and stuff

 

This happen me too mate, but I wanted you to find out for yourself she wasn't into you as you had thought.. You find better than her just have to keep at it.. You'll soon see men like us don't settle for less....

[healing light]

Its all my fault. I should not have been intense and asked her about certain things then she would have introduced me to her fri3nds and stuff

 

This woman is manipulative. This is complete crap--a made up excuse for you to take the blame and responsibility for her bad behavior. She wasn't emotionally available for a relationship for anyone given that she's not over her ex, and nothing that you said or did or didn't say or do would have changed this. Don't spend one more second wondering what you did wrong; there are plenty of women that would love a nice man like you to court them.

[fred123]

So her ex bf she broke up with 18 months ago.

They were together for a year and had plans to move in and stuff.

I saw on fb that she always posted statuses and references about him on there and was clear for everyone to see. Even once she put a love heart padlock thing of both of them ( some cheesey stuff). I once sent her a selfie of myself and said " this pic is just for u". She replies she didnt like cheesey stuff. That hurt me.

 

So we spoke more and this is what she said " im sorry you were just wrong timing. Also i want a guy who can control me and we are imcompatible. You are too emotional and im not. I found this relationship intense. Sorry"

I replied " i dont understand. When did you think all of this? I had no idea. You said yes to being my gf 6 weeks ago and 2 weeks ago you said you saw a future with me and was looking at onlin3 pillows for my new flat etc. You said you had fallen for me a week ago or so"

 

She replied " yes its all true i havnt lied to you about anything. Its been on my mind for months"

 

Im so confused. If she thought all this about me then why say yes to being my gf? She must have known we are incompatible before then. Even last week she said if im free to accompany her to wimbledon tennis she has spare ticket.

 

I should have twken more control. I tried to make plans but i dont know what she means by that

[Gaeta]

So her ex bf she broke up with 18 months ago.

They were together for a year and had plans to move in and stuff.

I saw on fb that she always posted statuses and references about him on there and was clear for everyone to see. Even once she put a love heart padlock thing of both of them ( some cheesey stuff).

 

Now you know the truth, she is ok with shows of affection in public when she's in love. So all the excuses she gave you were BS.

 

So we spoke more and this is what she said " im sorry you were just wrong timing. Also i want a guy who can control me and we are imcompatible. You are too emotional and im not. I found this relationship intense. Sorry"

If she liked you enough she would have enjoyed the intensity. She had no problem with her ex being intense.

 

 

I replied " i dont understand. When did you think all of this? I had no idea. You said yes to being my gf 6 weeks ago and 2 weeks ago you said you saw a future with me and was looking at onlin3 pillows for my new flat etc. You said you had fallen for me a week ago or so"

 

She replied " yes its all true i havnt lied to you about anything. Its been on my mind for months"

I am glad you confronted her. OF COURSE she lied to you. She is in love with her ex !! She knew from the beginning you'd be nothing more than a weekly hook-up, She used you to pay her way around, for restaurants and spa days!!! She only said she'd be your girlfriend to not lose profiting from you!! She is a user and she is a little parasite !

 

Im so confused. If she thought all this about me then why say yes to being my gf? She must have known we are incompatible before then. Even last week she said if im free to accompany her to wimbledon tennis she has spare ticket.

yes she knew you were not compatible, she knew she would never fall for you but the most important thing she knew she could USE YOU and she did !!

 

I should have twken more control. I tried to make plans but i dont know what she means by that

Stop this non sense. She was only out to use you and she did!! Who cares what she means by being more in control - it's her twisted little mind trying to blame you.

 

You're a nice man, your heart is in the right place, you are kind, generous and patient. You came across the wrong woman and she took advantage of you. She played you, lied to you, used you. You should be mad right now.

 

Do not let any other woman take advantage of you like this again!

[d0nnivain]

Fred123

 

 

I am so sorry. Please don't think her behavior was your fault. She was USING you but you are such a good soul you didn't see it. That part you have some blame for.

 

 

This garbage about you being too intense on the 2nd date is a crock. If she didn't like you on the 2nd date she had no business going on a 3rd date with you. Instead she strung you along for 7 months because she knew you were a nice naïve guy & she could play with your emotions, with little consequence to her. You were a rebound. You were content with the crumbs she gave you. She got regular sex with a nice guy & didn't have to give any effort. The more she withheld, the more you gave.

 

 

As much as I hate PUA like Corey Wayne or the rest of them, I actually think some of the techniques could be useful to you. Don't follow what they say like a recipe or a script but take the things that help draw out your own self confidence.

 

 

You are a good guy. The right girl will be lucky to have you. I know your ego has taken a massive hit right now. My heart bleeds for you. But take some time. Lick your wounds & then figure out something really fun to do for the summer.

[fred123]

Now you know the truth, she is ok with shows of affection in public when she's in love. So all the excuses she gave you were BS.

 

I feel ugly. What is wrong with my face to not want pic or stuff? I mean she must find me attractive to have sex and kiss me?

 

She told me while we were together that because she used to put things on facebook of her and her ex but because it didnt work out she didnt want to make the same mistake again until she is sure of getting married. I believed it. Surely that can be believable.

[Gaeta]

I feel ugly. What is wrong with my face to not want pic or stuff? I mean she must find me attractive to have sex and kiss me?

 

She told me while we were together that because she used to put things on facebook of her and her ex but because it didnt work out she didnt want to make the same mistake again until she is sure of getting married. I believed it. Surely that can be believable.

 

Another lie.

 

She did not want to put pictures of you 2 on FB because she didn't want her ex to see it. She wanted to appear single to her ex.

 

Fred: you fail to understand it's not about you. It's not about your looks, not about your personality, it's not about what you did and did not do. It's ALL about her not being over her ex, and wanting to appear available to her ex!