LDR story. ?

[VeePF]

Hey sup everyone. Figure I'd share a couple of things just to get other peoples opinions.

 

I've been talking to a girl for the past year and a half now. She's put too much pressure on me ever since the start saying i miss you and i want to start a family with you etc. She's really into me from the way I see things.

She's let her mum know about me and wants to introduce me to her family but I keep knocking it off. I feel like its all to much pressure and i end up blocking her on facebook then disappear for 3 months and come back and unblock her.

 

Don't get me wrong she has everything i want in a girl. Nice, simple, beautiful, charming, non materialistic and has her head screwed on with right and wrong things.

Only thing that bothers me is she hasn't been in a serious relationship with any guy but finds all my characteristics loveable and the way I treat her.

 

She also always mentions my characteristics to me its like she's head over hills for me. I guess this is because she's a very nice/good girl and raised girl from her mum. Her dad passed away while she was younger. She's now 25. Recently we reconnected. I can tell she's lost some trust but thats my fault. She knows my routine as its happened about 3x when she puts pressure on me i block her off and shut her out. She thinks I'm talking to other girls playing her around and using her as an option.

I'm actually not. I've jumped out of a 5 year mess about 3 years ago and am a little picky before falling in love again. I actually know what i want in a girl. I'm maybe afraid to take it to the next level because there was hardly effort in getting her. We talked and clicked easy. I saved her life once she caught Denge when she was supposed to see me but she ended up in hospital the bill was massive but I still paid for it as her family couldn't afford it that time. (Don't think this was a cover up as her mum and sister talked to me about this) they even prepared me a feast for my arrival but i didn't show up. I know dick move I'm sorry. I was quite angry and depressed not seeing her for our first time meet so i blocked her again and left it off for a good 3 - 6 months. Anyway fast forward to now. I unblocked her and contacted her again just to say hi.

 

It seems like we just left off from where we were.

I explained why i disappeared. I told her i need a girl that can focus on herself even when I'm gone or away. I need a girl to hold on her own. What if I land in the hospital one day and she needs to have some balls and step up what then? She understood this on her own before I could mention it. She picked it up. She learns real quick and now knows about that and it'll drive me away.

 

I told her I'm sorry about the past and for what I've done to her giving her false hope with loving me.

She understands and still loves me. She honestly compares me to other guys and says no one matches my characteristics or personality when it comes to treating her. I'm glad she knows a couple of things like that.

 

She comes from a poor background. I've played around to test waters before with others when i was younger but I'm really good spying out things with girls overseas and the no good stuff people can get up too. I require alot of patience before heading into a relationship. It feels like whatever bad **** I throw onto this girl she'll accept and love me regardless and it scares me that she can do me that way. She puts in effort and texts me everday good morning etc the usual lovey dovey type things never ignores me and always stalks me. In other words she knows what a man wants and is ready to settle as well. Another thing is she's a good 12/10 when it comes to looks. It's like things are too good to be true. Most beautiful woman are danger no offense lol.

Also if i ask her about other men. She always mentions yes there are alot that try to hit on her but apparently none of them compare to the way i treat her and she doesn't waste time entertaining them cause they are always attracted to her looks rather than her actual self.

 

Is there something I'm missing here? Am i just over thinking things. This November I'm flying back home. It'll be a chance to see her. Should i take it this time?

Keep in mind this is my first serious LDR and we've talked and i told her that things may get hard at times and we both don't have experience in these things so it'll take time and patience. She's also looked into moving abroad and wants to live with me. Quick way is to marry her. But I've explained the harder process without marriage and she's willing to try that also get some qualifications and her visa organsied as i have some connects that can sponsor her as long as she has the right education and qualifications. I don't wanna marry a girl and divorce for a free visa in other words. I've lived that life similar. My ex had two kids (not mine) i loved them like my own.

I provided the roof, food and happiness I could. Don't want a broken one for my next.

 

Long story short she cheated on me with a close friend of mine lol. Good experience and memories. She helped me to be a better and understanding man for my next partner in life gotta thank her for that at least lol.

 

Inputs, opinions go all out and don't be afraid to ask anything extra if it'll help I'll chime in when i can.

 

Thanks everyone and goodnight

[d0nnivain]

Have you ever met in real life? Do that before making any decisions. She sounds naive, in love with love, & possibly desperate to hang on to you as a way out of poverty.

[Whodatdog]

Im sorry, I must have missed the part where you care for this girl, or love her, or something.

[crystalstevens]

No offense, but you sound like a D*** the whole blocking game screams out nothing but insecurities about yourself.

 

Stop leading her on if you don't see a future with her.

 

If you end up in the hospital, she'll do everything she can to stay alive for you so she can support you. It honestly sounds like this girl is head over heels with you. It sounds like she's ready and willing to already make a future with you.

[Elise84]

I think you lost all respect for her because she lets you get away with everything. You treat her like crap and still she wants to be with you (and you're right: that's not very normal). It also takes away the exciting part for you, you don't have to do anything to conquer this girl. It even makes her look a bit desperate actually, so it makes sense to me that you're having doubts. The fact that she's so easy makes you wonder if you're settling and if you couldn't do better (I think). Btw, her saying that you treat her better than any other guy also really makes me wonder what types of guys she's been going out with...

 

Long story short, I think this girl is a bit too sweet for you and you need a stronger woman :-).

[VeePF]

Have you ever met in real life? Do that before making any decisions. She sounds naive, in love with love, & possibly desperate to hang on to you as a way out of poverty.

 

No i haven't yet. She got sick and ended up in the hospital the first time we were supposed too. Which kind left me kind of sad and angry but helpless to do so. Poverty yeah maybe but I can't see it in her to do that she feels too innocent. She's doing well alone so far.

[VeePF]

Im sorry, I must have missed the part where you care for this girl, or love her, or something.

 

I never fell in love with her but i care for her. Maybe its cause i never got a chance to see her possibly. I feel like I'm the type that needs to see someone before falling in love.

[VeePF]

No offense, but you sound like a D*** the whole blocking game screams out nothing but insecurities about yourself.

 

Stop leading her on if you don't see a future with her.

 

If you end up in the hospital, she'll do everything she can to stay alive for you so she can support you. It honestly sounds like this girl is head over heels with you. It sounds like she's ready and willing to already make a future with you.

 

I agree dick move. I've never done it to anyone else also. I think its maybe she comes off too clingy for me. She's great in general thanks for the honest feedback.

[VeePF]

I think you lost all respect for her because she lets you get away with everything. You treat her like crap and still she wants to be with you (and you're right: that's not very normal). It also takes away the exciting part for you, you don't have to do anything to conquer this girl. It even makes her look a bit desperate actually, so it makes sense to me that you're having doubts. The fact that she's so easy makes you wonder if you're settling and if you couldn't do better (I think). Btw, her saying that you treat her better than any other guy also really makes me wonder what types of guys she's been going out with...

 

Long story short, I think this girl is a bit too sweet for you and you need a stronger woman :-).

 

Thsnk you. You sort of understand me i love the exciting part and your right throughout the whole time i never got that. As for guys she observes and scans alot but picks up on personalities before anything else so i guess she has avoided the total sicks that just want in it for sex.

 

I care about her but don't love her yet. I guess I'll have to go see her this November and see how things go I will update you guys then. In the meantine we both agreed to start of fresh as friends and forget about what happened in the past. I'll go from there but she still showing signs of more than friends already. I'm cool with it and know she can't control her feelings when it comes to me. Thanks for everyones input. I feel like I was the dick here and not much negative comments about her so I'll adjust and let my guard diwn a little i guess and I'll go see her this year.

[Chilli]

I never fell in love with her but i care for her. Maybe its cause i never got a chance to see her possibly. I feel like I'm the type that needs to see someone before falling in love.

 

But hey , so that would make you a normal person then , right.

So why don't you go meet her now then, spend some time together.

[ExpatInItaly]

Where is she from?

 

Has she asked you for money again since?

[SarahRose]

Some people from poor countries will do anything and I mean anything to move to a Western country. You have no idea how many other guys she claims to be in love with who is sending her money etc.

 

What would you actually have in common?

[Novz]

Hello, There. I feel your feelings in your story. I know you are being cautious as you don't want to gamble your future with a woman and ends up being used.

 

The story is familiar to many ladies who only wants nothing but a quick passage to be in a new country.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, did she ask for anything else or did she initiate situations where she sounded that you are supposed/ obliged to shell out money? My take is, I really don't like ladies who only gives kind words for benefits later. Unfortubately, that's the reality today.

 

You helped her in the past.

I only hope that she's sincere with her love for you. I would be heart broken if it's otherwise.

 

Since there's the involvement of the family, I hope that they don't take advantage of yoy.

 

Be careful.

[Chilli]

But hey , so that would make you a normal person then , right.

So why don't you go meet her now then, spend some time together.

 

But l forgot to add , yeah , be very careful , you can be open but while still being careful of the sitch.

 

l was in a LDR thing 16mths. And we talked everything dozens of times about the future and all sorts of things.

But although she wasn't after money there were some pretty bad personality things that came out more and more as time went on.

It we could've spent more real time together earlier in l suppose they'd have shown much earlier.

Although l wouldn't swap our time for anything really but it did turn out pretty sad unfortunately and still is.