AlmostMarried77 Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 Is Being Best Friends a Bad Thing? The fiance and I have been at best friends status since before we hooked up. But now i'm finding it can be slightly problematic... she can tell me stuff that, really, i don't want to hear. Ever. Don't get me wring though, i love the fact that we can spend hous and hours talknig about stuff and neither of us seems to get fed up or bored or whatever and at the sametime we're constantly flirting with each other and goading and working at ways to keep an already lively relationship extra lively. But still... as her SO there are things which she just shuoldn't say to me Anyone else this problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Like what? I don't think being best friends is bad as long as that's not all you are. Link to post Share on other sites
SoftDrink Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 wellllllll...it does kind of depend on the things she says to you that you take offense to... Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Me & my wife were best friends before we got married. It has it's positives and negatives. The positive is that you have something concrete to fall back on when the marriage gets into a ditch and it's something you can always use as a stepping stone to get out of it. However that 'best friend' thing also has a taint about it. It's very easy to get way too comfortable with the other person. That in itself isn't bad but you can easily fall into taking the other person for granted when you become so comfortable with them. You don't even realize it most of the time. How long have you been with her? I'd be more concerned on how you deal with situations where you to have opposite opinions on. Being best friends with your mate can either be a positive or a negative there. One other thing is with best friends like you said it's easy for your partner to tell you things that you don't want to hear. Often it's being way too critical of the other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 If "best friends" means "let it all hang out" then, yes, that's a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 Being best friends and lovers at the same time is the best thing in a marriage. It can be done. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 Originally posted by AlmostMarried77 But still... as her SO there are things which she just shuoldn't say to me Like what? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2005 Share Posted August 13, 2005 There are some things that men don't need to know about...That is what girlfriends are for. My husband tells me this when I yak about something he really doesn't wanna know about. I don't ever take it personally either. Suggest to her that you DO love to talk and hear about most things but there are times she needs to talk to her girl friends about that stuff. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted August 15, 2005 Share Posted August 15, 2005 Originally posted by loony Like what? feminine hygene Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlmostMarried77 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 D'oh I completely forgot i made this thread... anyway i think i was being over sensitive and insensitive Over sensitive - She said she thought that will smith was really cute. I thought - why does she think that i need to hear this. She can tell her girl friends which pop stars she currently finds cute Insensitive - She has busted me once or twice "looking" at other girls so i was probably asking for it Although in my defense a. If you asked me 5 minutes later what any of those girls looked like i would not be able to give anything but a basic description. Eg blonde/brunette/short/tall b. i completely adore every inch of my fiance's body and regularly tell her (and show her ) Anyway - i sure that sometimes she just says stuff to get a rise out of me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlmostMarried77 Posted August 22, 2005 Author Share Posted August 22, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius feminine hygene Strangely enough I have never had a problem with girlfriends periods... even picked up neccessary provisions from the store if asked to. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by AlmostMarried77 Strangely enough I have never had a problem with girlfriends periods... even picked up neccessary provisions from the store if asked to. you got owned... Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 you got owned... Nope. He's just a grownup. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast Nope. He's just a grownup. Crikey, there's just no humor in these boards anymore. My comment about letting it all hang out basically means this: too often, people fail to realize that a romantic relationship can/should be/is different from a friends relationship and they rush to let it all hang out/let themselves go, etc., and fail to realize that at some point they are driving attraction into the ground. If you're a man and you have hemorrhoids, try not to make a big deal of it in front of the wife -- she's your wife, not [just] your pal, and you're going to need her to be attracted to you at some point in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AlmostMarried77 Posted August 23, 2005 Author Share Posted August 23, 2005 To be honest i don't see much difference between being asked to pick up some toilet paper or being asked to pick up sanitary towels. And the other stuff... yeah i prefer to keep toilet functions and the like out of the relationship Link to post Share on other sites
MattB Posted August 23, 2005 Share Posted August 23, 2005 I don't know.....My soon to be fiance and I are at the super comfortable level and I think it's wonderfull. There is absolutly nothing that we won't talk about with each other. I have absolutly no problem if she tells me she thinks a certain guy is cute, and she has no problem with me mentioning a certain girl is cute. Heck, she points out hot girls to me all the time, and then we sit there and discuss it. The thing is, we don't mind hearing it because we are secure in the fact that it is just talk. We know that nothing will ever come of it and that that thought doesn't even cross our minds. In fact, our openness with each other has really brought us much closer. It gets rid of the stupid games. We know each other's boundarys, and if there is any question then we just ask. There's no pushing it, making her pissed, then appologizing. It's also led to an AMAZING sex life.....but I won't share those details. I guess what I'm saying is that if it's true love, then there should be nothing you feel uncomfortable hearing or saying. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 If you are married you should be able to tell each other anything and everything about anything and everything including her menstrual cycle and your prostate. You need to be tuned into each other in these areas especially if there are problems because not only will she need emotional support, there may come a time where one of you needs to speak to a doctor on behalf of the other. I always told my husband the details of my period because I was concerned about my own health and needed his comfort and reassurance rather than run to a doctor (mine is an hour away and hard to get in to see). You don't need to share the size and shape of the log you dropped this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
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