Phoenician Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 (edited) after talking about it and gave chances to get a different indciation for a month , I wrote thise letter .... It is time that we admit our failure to be caring husband and wife sharing a lifetime , deep emotions and respect . I no longer care whose fault it's nor defend myself ,it will bring nothing back . Until the last moments you used my "human mistakes" to raise my guilt and victimize yourself and show me that the main reason you stay is because you are a better person than me , and assert that i am the wolf creature . No matter how much "unhuman " I was , one truth is that I have tried , and tried and tried ,to do improvements while you Never respected my attempts and holded a remote control to switch on/off your emotions . You refused for years all kind of affection , all kind of help, all kind of love . I won't argue , nor defend that i was abused long time before you ; all this has no value now . now , we are no longer deserve to be caring husband and wife ,you haven't healed as you said from so many painful hurts ;we failed to make each other happy . You are full of resentment and I am too. Separation is a must now to avoid more toxicity ; I no longer dream about being in your heart . I will work on myself,and disappear emotionally ,if your allegations are true , you are better without me , and if mine are true I need a space to change into a different person , but maybe not a suitable husband for you . I advise you to do the same , and willing to assist in all aspects needed from financial and logistic perspective ; but I should not interfere emotionally as long as resentment is there . If you want to improve , you will do it for yourself , not for any one , not for family , and definitely not for me . Now that we are still sharing the same roof , I will try my best to avoid having issues with you ; none of us should disrespect or blame the other ; if an item is a dispute item , it should be handled in a respectful way like roommates or colleagues would do. I am fully committed toward responsibilities related to family ; if I believe any requested item is not my responsibility or I can't do it , I will refuse to do it in a decent way . Your ex Hero , Best Edited June 15, 2017 by Phoenician 1 Link to post Share on other sites
trailwolf Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 very well said , very good ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 (edited) How are you hoping she receives this letter? You say you no longer care who is at fault and you no longer want to defend yourself. You then proceed to point out her flaws and faults and defend yourself. If she is already angry and resentful, this letter isn't going to help that. Simplify and just say you're ready to separate. If things are as awful as you say, she will already know why. Edited June 15, 2017 by purplesorrow 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 Sounds like you just want her to change to please you to me. I don't expect this to be well received, though I do agree you should divorce and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 I don't expect that it will be well received either. It is important to feel like you've said what you need to say. You've just said it in a rather condescending, passive aggressive kind of way... Which is why, I don't think it will be well received. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 15, 2017 Share Posted June 15, 2017 I wouldn't give her that. Just leave. Keep the letter to remind yourself why you left some time in the future. Then throw it away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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