Should I stay (again) or Go?

[Starlord17]

So,

 

Back in Sept-Oct of 2016, my relationship with my partner had reached an all time low. We had serious trust issues, and argued EVERYDAY!. In October, we went out of town to visit his family. While we were there, his cousin, his cousins friend, and I were in the living room of the house we were staying in. I see the friend and the cousin begin oral sex, in front of me while I sat on another couch. My partner was in a room behind me. Long story short I get my partner, but before we go out into the living room I tell him, this is a watch only, hands off kind off thing. While out there the friend crawls over to our couch and tried to perform oral sex on my partner, I hit him, and it caused an awkward moment. My partner seemed to.want it to happen also. After that, things got real bad because I felt like he wanted to have oral sex with the other person. After that, I moved out and he moved into his own spot (back with his family).

 

Oct to November he got real distant. Stopped calling, stop replying to text in a timely manner. Whenever we were together I would ask him "are we OK?", "did he want to continue?".

I also asked if he "felt any different about me and the relationship"

Each time I was told, "No, nothing has changed".

 

November to December he started going out again with friends, and stopped almost all communication with me. He would call sometimes and say "I'm just hitting you up, or touching bases". I would always take the conversation to me asking "what the hell were we doing"? He would set up dates, and stand me up.

 

Well, December came. My birthday came (December 2) I got a call and a nonchalant birthday wish. On the 3rs, I didn't hear from.him all day. When I got off work, I called him about 11pm. He yells.me he's going out to.the bar with his friends, he got.me a gift. And to call him about 2am.

I did. No answer.

 

So the next morning. I called again about 10 am. He picks up with a slight attitude, like he was annoying I called. I ask him what's up, where he's been, he says "out with my friends".

 

I ask him, are we still together? What are we doing? He said "he didn't know". I ask, so are we done?. He says "I guess so".

I got hysterical, because I asked about this very thiing for months, and here it is.

 

After that he tells me he is going to distance himself, Because I make everything his fault. (When truly, its never any change). He told.me to work.on me, and he would work and him and we would.see.

After more time. He said he felt different, and just didn't want to be in a relationship with me or anyone. No matter how I approach the situation, it ended up.with him shutting down and getting nowhere.

 

I asked him was he seeing or having sex with anyone, of course it was "ummm,........no".

At that point I pulled back. I stop calling, texting, meeting up. I cut ties.

This was in January.

March came and I met someone I was hanging out with. No sex, just going out to eat, some travelling, etc.

I figured this was a good thing, I was moving on.

Well, April 4 I get a message from my ex saying "I love you".

I felt weird ...

I didn't know how to react..so I didn't.

I didn't reply..

 

But after 2 days I gave in and replied "what does that mean"

He said, he didn't know but felt compelled to tell me that.

 

A week later he invites me to a bar b que, I accept and go. While there he kept looking at me a certain way, being real nice etc.

He asked me to take him to the store and I do, while we were on the way, he started kissing me and going crazy. I told.him to stop.

 

He did it again.

We ended up having sex

 

The next day, I ask what was that.

He tells.me "he didn't knows but he liked it and wanted it"

 

..to me, that seemed selfish.

 

I kept my distance. Another week or so.passes and I come to visit. While I'm there, the other guy I had been talking too from March, called me via facebook chat. My ex listens to my conversation and when I get off the phone, confronts me about him.

 

"I heard you talking to your new n****"

I brush him off. I walk outside, he asks me to join him.in his car.

There, he tells me he misses me, wants me, wanys what we had back, etc..

 

I tell him, I don't know..

After that conversation, I go into his room and see his phone, I pick it up and it's open. I go to text messages and see a active conversation with him and another person, both of them.telling each other they miss each other. I scroll back.and see this has been going on since November, along with plenty of other text message. Including one from a manager for a store location he works at. They met up.and had oral sex in that time. It was other text messages from other people. Some he tries to be with, some is sex.

 

 

After seeing that I tell him I'm good.on the reconnecting.

He goes off about how I did the same because I met the other guy in March. But I never had sex with the person. He had tried to screw everything that hit him.up.

 

He then tells me I need to decide what I want, cause he can't wait around. Or be in limbo. He tells me if we do.it again, I can never say anything like "I'm.done or I'm leaving" that makes him feel.some way. Even though he didn't spare me in December.

 

So. It's June, we have been talking ...he took my phone and ran the other guy off one night while.I was asleep.

We have been OK, up to.recent, we argued this past week.

He had this friend come by, granted they did go.to high school together, and have mutual friends, but he man comes over every day, always trying to.invite him somewhere, or set sumn up where they chill. I told my partner, moderate that ****. He tells me he don't know his friend like that, and never has.

 

So.I told.him just an HR ****, I'm done again.

I love him, and he says the same to me.

But is this love enough, especially based on how he left, to go **** off.

 

Should I stop this, or fight for it?

Edited June 15, 2017 by Starlord17

[Zahara]

Love? The guy was receptive to oral right infront of you! There's no love. Focus on action not on words.

 

Girl. Get some self-respect and rebuild your self-esteem!

 

Don't you believe you deserve better?

 

Move on from him. Aim higher. Stay with him and you'll always be treated poorly -- why? -- because you've taught him that you deserve nothing more.

[dumbass2]

What exactly is it that you would be fighting for? There's nothing in what you have written that gives any indication of a loving relationship. Just a ton of drama.

[misspalmy]

without trust theres nothing

[preraph]

This guy is messing around getting oral wherever he can. His friends are exhibitionists and creepy ones at that. You need to dump this guy!