The "practical" bits of a divorce

[Osmium13]

Looking beyond the messy emotional side, how does this actually work?

 

In particular... things like a joint mortgage, any equity from a property, possessions, cars, if there's a child involved, how expensive it might be etc. UK law applies.

 

Ta.

[Life lessons]

This could vary dramatically, dependent upon children, alimony, etc.

 

In regards to the mortgage, here in the states, there are several options.....for instance, one could buy the other out on the home.

 

I'm not familiar with U.K. Laws, so if I were you, I would check if you could possibly get a free consultation from a divorce attorney to help you out.

[minimariah]

i would definitely check with an attorney about the process & the prices. you can find all that out in one meeting & be 100% sure it's true.

 

however - in general - the practical bits of a divorce really depend on how much you cooperate with your spouse. in other words, if you are able to agree with the spouse on everything (who will have the primary custody of the children, who will keep the house or the car and so on, how will you divide the assets), your divorce will go pretty smooth & cheap. if not...? if you don't agree on the custody of the children, for example - the divorce will drag out for a longer period of time and cost you a lot more money. it really depends on you & your spouse being compatible when it comes to views on custody and money = two most important things during a divorce.

[Mumbles]

As others have said, get legal advice, its important because laws vary enormously across the world and even across local jurisdictions.

 

Getting a lawyer involved doesn't mean you are "lawyering up" in the aggressive sense, it can be much like seeing an accountant - gaining professional advice in a field that you yourself are probably not fully across.

 

Where I am, if children are not involved, it generally boils down to separating finances. A house will get 'bought' from the other partner, or, if that can't be achieved, it gets sold and the results, after costs, are divided equally. Same with cars. Someone 'buys' the others share, with real folding money... or the asset is sold if agreement can't be reached.

 

Along with a lawyer you should engage the services of one or more quantity surveyors - these folks give money numbers to everything, cars, houses, shoes, curtains ... they effectively monetise every single part of _all_ shared assets. Its a must. Getting a real estate agents 'opinion' holds very little value. You need someone who is generally engaged for taxation or company style asset valuation.

 

Ultimately, if you're having trouble with spousal agreement then it might prove best to simply sell everything ... at auction perhaps - giving the spouse the chance to buy any assets of interest at a proven market value.

 

Once kids are involved things get powers of magnitude more complex though and the variation across different states or provinces can be like chalk and cheese.

[mikeylo]

Be prepared to shell out money to attorneys and probably in debt for a while as the fees are high. Even the most amicable divorces are expensive.

 

I agree, custody and house are the major issues. Don't rule out an attorney as you most likely will need them even after divorce is final.

[somanymistakes]

Start with the official UK government guide to divorce: https://www.gov.uk/divorce

There's a set fee for filing, it's not cheap but it's not 'put you in debt' high either. Looks like it's about 600 pounds for the simplest no-frills divorce filing, if I'm reading it right, and that's if you decide NOT to get the courts involved in anything relating to children and finances and just make your own arrangements.

 

You are legally allowed to make whatever arrangements the two of you want, if you both agree to them. But if you don't agree your partner can sue you for changes, and even if you did agree but you don't have it in writing a vindictive partner can sue you for it later, so you need to be SURE that you are definitely amicable. And really, if there's kids and complicated money involved, you probably want an attorney.

 

More detailed instructions on filing for divorce here: https://formfinder.hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/d008-notes-eng.pdf which walks you through the basic form and also has notes on things like "if you want the courts involve in arrangements with your children, file THIS" and "if you want the courts involved in arrangements with your money, file THIS"

 

I am not an expert but this part is standardised government information.

[PegNosePete]

The legal side, if you're a reasonably competent person with forms etc, you can do yourself. As long as your wife will cooperate that is. If she will not cooperate then you should see a solicitor. Don't bother with any of the "quickie" or online divorce companies, they basically just fill in the forms for you, waste of money. Either do it yourself or use a real high street solicitor. If you do it yourself then do a LOT of research before filing it, since a small mistake can be costly. If you're unsure then better to get a solicitor to get it right first time - it will be more costly to rectify a mistake. Even following the guidance notes posted above can cause mistakes, since they just tell you you can write A, B or C in the box... not whether it's a good idea to write A, B or C!

 

The financial side, certainly the first thing you should do is see a solicitor, or better see several. Most do a free initial consultation so there's really no reason NOT to. You can pick up all sorts of information and knowledge. Take an A4 summary of the finances of the marriage: both your incomes, assets, house value (with an up to date valuation if possible, else look it up on zoopla), mortgage amount, any debts / credit cards, kids ages, etc etc.

 

The solicitor will tell you what a likely "fair" outcome would be. You can then approach your wife and negotiate. If you can reach agreement with her then you'll save a whole lot of time, hassle and money. If you can't reach agreement then you'll need to choose one of the solicitors to represent you.

 

Once you have an agreement (whether by talking to your wife or through solicitors) you need to get it checked over by a solicitor for legal loop-holes, and then made official by the court. This is fairly simple but best to get the solicitor to do it for you. IT doesn't cost much and it's worth it for the peace of mind that it's all done right.

Edited June 16, 2017 by PegNosePete

[OatsAndHall]

I would suggest a DYI divorce if there weren't joint property or children involved. But, it's important to seek legal counsel of some kind in these situations. In all reality, it's only going to be as expensive as you and your ex-wife make it. It'll be a reasonably cheap split if both of you are level-headed and can come to a fair settlement. It gets expensive when neither side can come to a compromise with respect to joint property and the children.

 

My divorce was expensive for my ex-wife but it certainly was not for me. I agreed to give her the house and pay a portion of the mortgage for a year to help her get her sh-t together. However, she got some bad advice down the line and got a lawyer that milked her for $4k... The final settlement agreement was exactly what I had put in writing right after the paperwork had been filed.