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My boyfriend blocked me on facebook and on his phone after an argument.

vantricia

By vantricia,
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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vantricia

vantricia

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Hi,

 

Just wanted some advice. My boyfriend and i had a misunderstanding recently because he has no time for me. I am asking him if he could fetch me from the airport because I am coming home. It has been 2 weeks that we have not seen each other so i am excited to see him again only to be turned down that he has no time. By the way he is a police officer and is very busy everyday without restdays recently. I felt bad when he said he could not make it at the airport. I even suggested other options where we could see each other that won't be hard for him but still he insist that he is tired and could not make it. My arrival is 8:30pm so that time he is already home and could see me if he really wanted to. I expressed to him my disappointment that he could not see me. And in return he is also mad that i could not understand him and his job. My only point is he cant even make time for me even for just an hour to see me because he already has no work during that time. Now that he is also angry at me he blocked me from facebook and on his phone, which are our only means of communication. Now it has been 5days that he never contact me. I also dont want to reach out because it is him who dont want to see me and talk to me. I dont want to seem desperate of him and that i am the woman, i should be the one being pursued. Previously i am the one who always find ways to contact him even if he blocked me and i think he is still thinking i would do the same this time. I am already tired of his attitude and wanted to move on but a part of me still loves him and i feel sad that he is not reaching out. Should i wait for him to contact me? Should i again make the move to reach out? Or should i move on?

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Zahara

Zahara

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Hi,

Previously i am the one who always find ways to contact him even if he blocked me and i think he is still thinking i would do the same this time.

 

When people make these statements it's a clear indication that the relationship is dysfunctional.

 

Where is your self-respect? The man keeps blocking you and you always chase. Men do not have respect or value women that behave this way. Chances are you're just there on his terms.

 

Find your own transportation home. And stay NC with this guy. Do you really want to keep chasing after this man everytime he kicks you to the curb?

 

Yes, move on.

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crystalstevens

crystalstevens

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Vantricia, there's no gentle way to word this but the only thing that comes up in my mind is..... "He's just not that into you" by his actions, this relationship (you) no longer exists to him.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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How long had you been seeing each other?

 

No matter the answer to that question really, I'm just curious. This guy is done PERIOD.

 

The life of a policeman's wife, if you had gotten that far, can be lonely and stressful at times. A policeman who is married needs a woman who is very strong, secure and independent and can function automonously often.

 

Beyond that, if you've been gone for 2 weeks and he doesn't want to see you as soon as you get home or at least schedule something the next day, he's lost interest or never had real interest anyway.

 

Don't reach out to him in anyway. You've already been too needy and chasing him. He would not be reacting to adamantly if this were an isolated incident. I'd say it's been brewing for a while. Let this go and keeping moving forward.

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vantricia

vantricia

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We've been together for 7years. ?

He said we still have a lot of time to see each other but he has a duty to the public. It seems that his priority now is his job and not me.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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You will grow old waiting for this guy to contact you. It's never going to happen.

 

 

I am frightened for the citizens where he is if this is an example of how a man with the public trust who is licensed to carry a gun & a badge approaches problem solving.

 

 

In the long run this guy did you a favor. He is selfish & uncommunicative. Leave him be. Heal from your break up & go find a nice guy who appreciates you. A guy who truly loves you would be rearranging his schedule to be able to meet you at the airport & take you in his arms at the earliest possible moment.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Of course you are sad. It's disgraceful that he'd throw away 7 years by acting this childishly rather than speaking to you. But having seen his true colors & how little you apparently mean to him, how can you possibly stay?

 

 

Do your best to self soothe & move on.

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Zahara

Zahara

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I am so sad thinking that this is how our 7yr relationship will end. Truly he has changed a lot since then.

 

I have a strong feeling you've had many ups and downs in the relationship. Sometimes the duration means nothing when the quality was poor.

 

Stay away from this guy. Investing anymore time in him is just going to be a waste of your years.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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A guy who has been with a woman for 7 years doesn't just do something like this on a whim or without having been pushed to a limit. Nevertheless, his behavior doesn't respect that 7 years or you.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this. His priorities have clearly changed. If he does attempt to contact you at some point, I hope you can garner the strength not to respond at all. Keep moving and fast.

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vantricia

vantricia

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Yes too many ups and downs. And he always tell me that if i am only understanding we wont uave arguments. But of course why wont i argue when i also have a point? I already felt unvalued for months but i keep on holding on because i treasure our 7yr relationship. ?

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Zahara

Zahara

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Yes too many ups and downs. And he always tell me that if i am only understanding we wont uave arguments. But of course why wont i argue when i also have a point? I already felt unvalued for months but i keep on holding on because i treasure our 7yr relationship. ?

 

You are dependent on those 7 years. "Treasure" is when you both had a loving and genuine relationship together. Staying with someone for 7 years when it was volatile is a different story. You stayed for all the wrong reasons.

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vantricia

vantricia

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when i was out of the country during that two weeks, he always told me to tag him on my posts so that he is updated of me. But i notice on that 2 weeks he did not even bothered to call only chats. I am now crying to relaize that we are really at the end of our relationship.i just hopw he will be man enough to say he doe not love me anymore than doing this ignore thing.

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Redhead14

Redhead14

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Yes too many ups and downs. And he always tell me that if i am only understanding we wont uave arguments. But of course why wont i argue when i also have a point? I already felt unvalued for months but i keep on holding on because i treasure our 7yr relationship. ?

 

i treasure our 7yr relationship -- What you should be treasuring is YOU. I suspect you've been putting in a lot more of yourself into this relationship than it or he deserved.

 

And he always tell me that if i am only understanding we wont uave arguments. -- This is a controlling and manipulative attitude.

 

It's time for you to focus on YOU and just you now.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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You probably had 7 years of less then stellar interactions where you were glossing over his faults. Don't look at the length of your relationship. Look at it's poor quality. Doing so will make the end less painful.

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vantricia

vantricia

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I hope he was just man enough to tell me he does not love me anymore than doing this things. I have asked him if he still loves me he would always say yes but when we have arguments he cant address it well.

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stillafool

stillafool

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He may love you but is not acting like someone who is "in love" with you. Be grateful. You have spent 7 years with him and has he asked you to marry him yet? If not, don't waste another 7 years of your youth.

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vantricia

vantricia

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He may love you but is not acting like someone who is "in love" with you. Be grateful. You have spent 7 years with him and has he asked you to marry him yet? If not, don't waste another 7 years of your youth.

 

We have talked about marriage but he said maybe in two years because he is still helping his family. He is only 2 years in his job and still very passionate about it.

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ExpatInItaly

ExpatInItaly

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Time to stop beating this dead horse of a relationship.

 

It's over and it sounds like it has been for a long time. Be glad you're not going to waste another 7 years with someone who doesn't care about you anymore.

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