4givrnt4gtr Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 First and foremost i must say that I maaaaay be feeling a bit more hormonal than usual as im undergoing fertility treatment so im pumped full of hormones. with that out of the way, I am having an issue with my husband that overall is not necessarily a big deal but when i am hormonal it comes up. The issue is that at this time we work opposite schedules and it bugs me because its by choice. My husband has been unemployed since we arrived at this new city about 9 months ago. Because of that he decided that to help ends meet he would drive lift or uber. He goes out every day and thiugh I appreciate the effort it bugs me that he chooses to have his work schedule be exactly opposite to mine. As in I work 730 to 430 and he decided he would work from 3 to 8. Now, part of it is that he likes working evenings. When we met his work schedule was 12-9 at a company but since I was in school with crazy hours it worked fine. I still often wished we could have evenings together but i understood it was a company schedule thing. After we moved though he choose another job that was also like 4-11 pm. It bugged me becausei hardly saw him but again i figured it was just luck. However, this job is his choice. It bugs me because i feel like he just doesnt like to spend time with me so he works evenings to get away. I am currently in a city where i dont know anyone and i am feeling very lonely. I don't know what to do. I dont want to be needy but at the same time its hard to not feel like this is on purpose. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 Is he maybe just not a morning person? If you guys do have a baby, this is something you're going to have to work out because a baby creates even less time together, and if he's home in the mornings I would assume you'd want him to pitch in caring for the baby while you're at work just as you'd be doing later in the day/night when he is at work.... Good luck with the fertility treatments. Been there <3. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 He is definitely not a morning person. Actually though we do t yet have a baby we did just adopted two pups. He is amazing taking care of them during the day, I take care of them at night. I guess this Is why I am feeling annoyed. my life has become nothing but work, take care of the pets and sleep. When we are together we are either doing chores, taking care of the pets or watching tv. Every once in a while we do go out but im feeling like we are getting bored with each other. :( Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 16, 2017 Share Posted June 16, 2017 He is definitely not a morning person. Actually though we do t yet have a baby we did just adopted two pups. He is amazing taking care of them during the day, I take care of them at night. I guess this Is why I am feeling annoyed. my life has become nothing but work, take care of the pets and sleep. When we are together we are either doing chores, taking care of the pets or watching tv. Every once in a while we do go out but im feeling like we are getting bored with each other. :( Well, this is pretty much exactly what parenting is like! Are there other things that make you feel like he doesn't want to spend time with you aside from choosing this work schedule? Also, I would think, being completely uneducated about Uber and Lyft, that you make the most money in PM hours....is that part of his choice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 Haha yeah I figured taking care of two young puppies resembled parenthood (what with the waking up at ungodly hours of the night, etc). I love the munchkins but wow they are a lot of work. Aside from the hours another issue that made me feel like he wants to get away from me is that a couple of months ago he told me someone contacted him from our home state asking when we would return so he can offer him a full time job. He told me he was actually considering taking it now (though we, or at least I, can't go back for another two years). When that seemed to fall through he actually applied for another job in our home state, thinking he could leave soon as well. Though I tried to be supportive given that he has been out of his industry for a few years now, I couldn't help but wonder why there and not here (though the plan IS to go back). When we talked about it his response was that he wants to make sure we have a solid foundation financially so I dont have to feel so stressed and pressured to get a job right away. In regards to Uber...now that I think about it, I think you are right, they do make more money at night...and yes that may be part of his choice. Hm...the more I write about it the more I am thinking that this has more to do with the fact that he doesn't have a solid stable job and he is trying to make do with what he has or hopes to have than not wanting to be with me..... Wow...thanks so much for helping me think this through...this is why I love these forums....:love: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Haha yeah I figured taking care of two young puppies resembled parenthood (what with the waking up at ungodly hours of the night, etc). I love the munchkins but wow they are a lot of work. Aside from the hours another issue that made me feel like he wants to get away from me is that a couple of months ago he told me someone contacted him from our home state asking when we would return so he can offer him a full time job. He told me he was actually considering taking it now (though we, or at least I, can't go back for another two years). When that seemed to fall through he actually applied for another job in our home state, thinking he could leave soon as well. Though I tried to be supportive given that he has been out of his industry for a few years now, I couldn't help but wonder why there and not here (though the plan IS to go back). When we talked about it his response was that he wants to make sure we have a solid foundation financially so I dont have to feel so stressed and pressured to get a job right away. In regards to Uber...now that I think about it, I think you are right, they do make more money at night...and yes that may be part of his choice. Hm...the more I write about it the more I am thinking that this has more to do with the fact that he doesn't have a solid stable job and he is trying to make do with what he has or hopes to have than not wanting to be with me..... Wow...thanks so much for helping me think this through...this is why I love these forums....:love: I think you've come to the right conclusion. He does not sound like a bad guy. Be proud that the future father of your children is so motivated <3. Link to post Share on other sites
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