Not sure what to make of all this

[jparmyguy]

So recently I was way too drunk and decided to text my ex. I told her how I had sex with this one girl. Extremely Immature of me and I know I should probably give my phone away to someone when I am drunk again

 

Anyways, I did not think she was going to take it so hard because as she told me she wanted someone new in her life and said she had no feelings for me left.(I was dumped)

 

Basically, everything hit the fan she started blowing up my phone like crazy and messaging the girl attempting to start a fight with her. She started telling people how she was going to start doing hard drugs and attack this girl.

 

Anyways, I started responding to her message and she went on to say how like she had a whole bunch of people lined up to have sex with and that she has been talking to this one kid for a little while and how she is going to meet him in new Hampshire in a couple weeks.

 

She started to say how she is going to send me pictures and that she is going to tell me about every single detail. So on and so on, she called me a piece of **** and that I was ****ing up my life. She was like if it was any other girl or a person I was dating she would not of cared.

 

Anyways, this kind of gave me another reality check of why she really dumped me a month ago. I came to the realization that she really just wanted to experiment with other guys and then come back to me when she was done. I looked back again at the month of trying to chase after her and getting upset about her and asked myself what was doing getting so upset about this girl.

 

We went back and forth over text until I told her I would be willing to meet up with her. I kind of told her that she wasn't worth it and that I was actually done with this BS and I am finally happy again. She then said that all the stuff she was saying was a lie and that she was just mad.

 

Her mood changed again and she started telling me how she was going to have me in a rehab center after she tells me all the stuff she is going to do with other guys. She started saying that she hopes that I cry and feel crushed when I hear about it all.

 

I finally met up with her and again it was the same old crap. She started punching me asking why I had sex with another girl. Told me that I was a piece of **** for doing so. I kind of snapped and told her to stop and shut up. She went back into her seat and stopped hitting me. I broke down about how I loved her and stuck through all the issues. I told her that I spent a month torturing myself about loosing her.

 

I told her I was happy again and that I was done torturing myself about this whole thing. Her mood changed she started telling me that she loved me and she made a mistake about not giving me the chance. She started to kiss me and cry on my shoulder. She said I would have taken you back in a month but now I can't because you had sex with another girl.

 

I told her that after all you put me through I am actually done. She got all sad and went back to her angry mood. So I went full damage control and told her that maybe we could rekindle things in a couple months. She smiled and said Idk it would not be the same because of what you did. I said if you want to then text me then if not then don't. I got out of the car and went home.

 

I said this to her because I just wanted her to stop acting all crazy. She threaten to fight this other girl and said she was going to start bouncing from person to person and do a lot of hard drugs. I think its better to have her think I am wrapped around her finger.

 

I don't want this girl back and I am at the point of not caring anymore about her. I doubt she is going to text me in a couple of months and even if she did I am not going back to her.

 

Anyways, I am not really sure of what I am feeling right now. A huge part of me feels like I am over this already after only a month now that this happened. Another part of me kind of just feels bad for her.

 

Regardless, I told her that I did in a nice way and not a bad way. I won't be doing that again. I am curious of what is going to happen now. Is she going to screw up her life over this, and am I actually going to be that upset if she starts telling me that she did stuff with some other kid. Strange feelings going on in my head now.

[jparmyguy]

Update:

 

Talked to her again today, just to check up on her.

She started telling me that she met someone new and that she planned on taking things slow with him to see if it would go anywhere.

 

At first I thought I was going to be mad about it, but I kind of just felt weird. We talked for a little bit and I was confronting her about why she did her I love you I hate you thing on Friday. She said I don't know I was mad.

 

After doing some more talking and stuff we agreed to actually stay out of each other lives for good and that our relationship was dead as a door nail at this point. Since, she found someone new I started telling her how we can't actually talk at the end of the summer about getting back together. I wasn't actually planning too anyways, but I decided to say that originally because she was acting all crazy.

 

I told her it would have never work because I have already slept with one person and she is starting to date a person. She agreed and starting asking me question about the person I had been with. I told her the honest truth about whether or not I liked it and she got a bit upset. I thought she was going to be her same unstable self that she was on Friday.

 

She stopped asking the question and apologized for the fact that we did not work out. She told me that she hopes that I find the right person in life to be happy with. I told her don't worry I will everything happens for a reason and we weren't meant to be. I said this chapter in our lives is closed for good now.

 

She told me that she is going to miss me and that hopes that one day we can meet up to see where our lives are at. I said sure and said goodbye.

 

Right now I just feel so weird about everything because now I know I will never see her or hear from her again. Since my mind is not clouded by emotions, I kind of do not know what to do with myself because at the end of the day I loved this girl a lot, but I know I was not happy with her. Actually, being able to see her play all these mind games. I just keep asking myself the question why did I ever love this girl and why was it so hard for me to actually let go.

[Arieswoman]

jprmyguy,

You need to ask yourself why you need all this drama in your life?

 

Take some time out before you date again and don't "drunk text" anyone in future.

[jparmyguy]

jprmyguy,

You need to ask yourself why you need all this drama in your life?

 

Take some time out before you date again and don't "drunk text" anyone in future.

 

I guess at the time I was not exactly ready to move on with my life because she was my first love, but given the recent circumstance I finally found it in me to block all her **** and to stop wondering whether or not she will ever come back.