Did I Cheat? I Think I Did

[Chi townD]

Like I said.. I didn't want to do it. He took out his penis put my hand on it and demanded that I give him a BJ. It happed so fast, he was aggressive. It was my fault, I made him hard so I did what I had to do. But I absolutely didn't want to do it. I had to.

 

I wouldn't say that this is something that happens regularly when I'm single... But if I were single, and if that's something a man wanted from me, yes I would do it.

 

No...no...no... You don't get to play the victim here. That guy did not hold a gun to your head. You could have removed yourself from that situation. You had all the power to say "no" and more than likely, he would have stopped. Because if he didn't, all you have to do is call the cops. In this day and age, a BJ isn't worth going to prison for the next 5 to 10 years and to have to register as a sex offender. A list he would never get himself off of and destroy his life.

 

You had the power to say "no" and you didn't. I don't mean to make you feel worse, I'm sure you're beating yourself up pretty bad over this. But, you need to own up to your own sh*t. You made a terrible mistake and you lost from it. Remember this and learn from it. Remember what you lost and WHY you lost it and then apply what you learned for your next relationship.

 

I'm sorry your in this situation but I applaud you for confessing and coming forward with it. That took guts and he needed to know the truth or else the guilt would have eaten you alive. Hang in there.

[Superchicken]

I'm pretty sure she gets it by now.

I'm also sure she knows what she did, and she's just trying to remove her guilt by trying to convince herself otherwise.

I also think she has been dumped on enough by all of us.

 

 

She did tell her BF, which, to me, shows remorse, and something a little more inside of her.

She needs to rebuild her life, and this, although, a current big stuff up in her life, will be a memory.

Also be a good learning curve, and hopefully, make her the most dedicated partner in her new (Or current) relationship.

 

 

Its not up to us to forgive her, its up to herself and her BF, and should remain that way.

 

 

So, guiltyandashamed, good on you for following through on our suggestions.

I know it may feel otherwise, but, you did the right thing.

You will see it yourself in time.

I hope your BF at least, remembers your confession.

 

 

As always when I talk like this I get nauseous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ted

[guiltyandashamed]

He has finally agreed to talk to me! I'm going over there soon. I hope he takes me back.. Im so excited but nervous.

[Space Ritual]

He has finally agreed to talk to me! I'm going over there soon. I hope he takes me back.. Im so excited but nervous.

 

Be realistic in your expectations and let go of the outcome, regardless of how it goes. This is all about him and how you can help him heal, and you can show him that by not making any promises you may not come close to keeping.

 

Some people get second chances, but no one on Earth deserves a third chance, so if it is offered be sure it is what he wants.

[Superchicken]

He has finally agreed to talk to me! I'm going over there soon. I hope he takes me back.. Im so excited but nervous.

 

 

 

That's great news overall.

 

 

Also, a plus for those that are on the edge of not telling ones partner about any indiscretions.

 

 

Tell the truth, as that is the only way you can ever feel unburdened, and any possible chance of getting your relationship back on track.

 

 

Lie, and continue with fear, anxiety, and guilt.

 

 

 

 

Keep us posted on your progress guiltyandashamed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ted.

[guiltyandashamed]

It's been a while since I've been in here.mm thought I'd give everyone a quick update. He took me back! We talked and I told him everything. He was sad and angry but told me that it was okay and said that it wasn't my fault. He said he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. He actually said that he likes that men hit on me when I go out and party and stuff. He just never expected that anything more would happen.

 

He still encourages me to go out and party, but now he likes it when I tell him about the guys that hit on me. I guess he likes to know that he has a desired girl.. It's a bit weird.. I dunno.

 

Anyways, I quit the party favors altogether and cut down on my drinking. I never want to be that out if controller again. I just want to be happy with my bf and be a better person. We are really happy right now and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him.

[Poutrew]

Well congratulations, it seems like you have a closet cuck in the making....

[sdraw108]

I hope you've learned a bit since that post where you said "I had to do it"!

[Superchicken]

Just goes to show you, that when you provide truth and honesty (Regardless of your acts), you have a greater chance of reconciliation, and again, a possible future with your partner.

 

 

Lie, and it never ends.

 

 

For you, its ended, and a new beginning has started.

Lets not see you back here again, except maybe to give your views on someone else's indiscretions..

 

 

I would say you have enough experience now.

 

 

Oh, yeah, men are weird.. Just accept us, and you will get along fine..

 

 

 

 

Ted.

[notbroken]

You were NOT sexually assaulted. You did not resist when he came into your room, you knew what he was there for, and you know exactly what you did.

 

Quit blaming others for your actions. Own them. It wasn't an 'accident'. You didn't accidently give him a BJ.

 

As long as you are flirting you are going to occasionally cross the line. You will be a serial cheater until you stop flirting with other men and getting validation from your looks and ability to lead men on. That seems to be your whole identity. Get another one if you want a successful marriage.

 

I feel sorry for your boyfriend. He may marry a future serial cheater and is headed for divorce before he even starts. You are the poster child for it. Just a fact. A harsh fact. It does NOT have to be but you will have to change your method of partying, flirting, and leading men on. You aren't strong enough to resist the inevitable. You've already proven it. You will prove it again. 100% sure.

[rysmithy]

Hi my name is Ryan, Still new here for me if i'm your BF and read this. Of course i will think the same way as other did. you still cheat. You even know it that you cheat. That's it but try to forgive yourself.