i feel broken.

[accident_prone]

i sit here one the eve of my 29th birthday, all alone in my room and at the risk of sounding melodramatic, i think something is wrong with me. i suddenly feel very down and i'm both sad and frustrated because i feel like i have nothing to be unhappy about. i have a great job in which i am successful, decent hobbies, great family, and a few good friends, yet i still quite suddenly feel very unfulfilled. i do think a part of this is due to not having a girlfriend but that can't be all of it, can it? it's just the only thing in my life that i can say is "missing" so it is on that which i place the blame. but in the past i can't really recall feeling this type of emotional void just because i was single. though i do know how those rose-colored glass tend to work.

on the subject of women, it's my own fault i suppose. i make little to no effort to meet anyone, but expect it to yield results. i am busy with work and everything else in my life so i feel largely unmotivated and/or apathetic in this area, though that totally feels like an excuse that i make for myself. when occasional opportunities present themselves, i will take them and tend to have success as i am relatively attractive and pretty fun, but a big issue is that i never seek out opportunities to meet new people. while i am certainly not a hopeless romantic type who is constantly yearning/looking for love, i am pretty realistic in understanding how things work and they don't typically fall into one's lap, so to speak.

i had this hit me pretty hard last night at a show i was playing and my best friend/band mate showed up with this new girl who is totally gorgeous and way smart/cool. immediately i felt so down and instead of happy for him i was just apathetic and jealous. this has never really happened before. i usually never feel anything close to this.

i guess i don't fully feel what i assume "depression" feels like. but whatever it is, i don't like it. how can i change my outlook?

it honestly just feels pathetic to be unhappy and have no real reason to justify it. i suppose i am a bit hard on myself.

i know most will say "it'll come when you least expect it" or "just live your life to the fullest and it will draw people in" and i can honestly say that's what i'm pretty much already doing. i'm doing what i want to with my life and doing it for the right reasons - reasons of self improvement and fulfillment rather than trying to impress or attract.

i get along with most people and generally people like my company but i am just not a very social person so this is likely a root cause of my issues. i work in sales and it takes so much out of me that i tend to avoid people a lot when it isn't work-related or something i'm super interested in. i'm not ignorant to the fact that this is an issue. i know it's not at all conducive to meeting new people in general, much less women.

i just want to feel better about my life, and the fact that i can't really pinpoint anything missing really does a number on me.

sorry for the narrative but it's nice to vent. does anyone have similar experience or sage advice? anything is appreciated.

[ZA Dater]

i sit here one the eve of my 29th birthday, all alone in my room and at the risk of sounding melodramatic, i think something is wrong with me. i suddenly feel very down and i'm both sad and frustrated because i feel like i have nothing to be unhappy about. i have a great job in which i am successful, decent hobbies, great family, and a few good friends, yet i still quite suddenly feel very unfulfilled. i do think a part of this is due to not having a girlfriend but that can't be all of it, can it? it's just the only thing in my life that i can say is "missing" so it is on that which i place the blame. but in the past i can't really recall feeling this type of emotional void just because i was single. though i do know how those rose-colored glass tend to work.

on the subject of women, it's my own fault i suppose. i make little to no effort to meet anyone, but expect it to yield results. i am busy with work and everything else in my life so i feel largely unmotivated and/or apathetic in this area, though that totally feels like an excuse that i make for myself. when occasional opportunities present themselves, i will take them and tend to have success as i am relatively attractive and pretty fun, but a big issue is that i never seek out opportunities to meet new people. while i am certainly not a hopeless romantic type who is constantly yearning/looking for love, i am pretty realistic in understanding how things work and they don't typically fall into one's lap, so to speak.

i had this hit me pretty hard last night at a show i was playing and my best friend/band mate showed up with this new girl who is totally gorgeous and way smart/cool. immediately i felt so down and instead of happy for him i was just apathetic and jealous. this has never really happened before. i usually never feel anything close to this.

i guess i don't fully feel what i assume "depression" feels like. but whatever it is, i don't like it. how can i change my outlook?

it honestly just feels pathetic to be unhappy and have no real reason to justify it. i suppose i am a bit hard on myself.

i know most will say "it'll come when you least expect it" or "just live your life to the fullest and it will draw people in" and i can honestly say that's what i'm pretty much already doing. i'm doing what i want to with my life and doing it for the right reasons - reasons of self improvement and fulfillment rather than trying to impress or attract.

i get along with most people and generally people like my company but i am just not a very social person so this is likely a root cause of my issues. i work in sales and it takes so much out of me that i tend to avoid people a lot when it isn't work-related or something i'm super interested in. i'm not ignorant to the fact that this is an issue. i know it's not at all conducive to meeting new people in general, much less women.

i just want to feel better about my life, and the fact that i can't really pinpoint anything missing really does a number on me.

sorry for the narrative but it's nice to vent. does anyone have similar experience or sage advice? anything is appreciated.

 

This post struck a chord with me because I can relate to much of the above.

 

 

The problem is you cant change this by not doing something BUT having said that if the rest of your life is in reasonably good shape you need to really try rationalise if you really want a gf and whether that is the fix all solution.

 

 

Look around at yourself and instead of looking at what you don't have, look at what you do have.

[preraph]

You know, some people have depression that is not triggered by anything but is a chemical imbalance. Why not go to a psychologist and get tested. Those people can often be helped simply by medication.

[ItsAllConfusing]

Hey well I'm 30 and female and I feel the same exact way. I just want to say that I can relate. I will elaborate later. You're not alone in your feelings.