Remodeling The Fake Into Reality

[icas]

I've got this strange, tormenting, crazy, and lovely issue. There is an amazing girl I really like. She is incredibly smart, very strong, extremely creative, and so so beautiful. She is someone to really admire. We've known eachother since elementary school. Now we're juniors in highschool and we're great friends, but I dont think she's seen the real side of me. The side where I'm energetic and like to have fun. I've always been this shy, really generous kid to everyone. I've liked her for a pretty long time, but as of lately things have gotten way out of control.

 

This feels like its gotten to be more than a "crush." I really do care about her. We've always been there for eachother. Like I said before, things have gotten way out of hand. All of the sudden, I've been ignoring her. In fact we had one class together last year and I never said a word to her. She'd always been asking "Why don't we ever talk anymore?" I would always respond, "I don't really know. Weird. What's up with that?" and give a little fake chuckle. That really took a tole on me. I felt like absolute ****. I couldn't believe I would ignore her for a year because of something I cant understand.

 

So I made a promise to myself. I wouldn't ignore her a second time around. I've gotten the courage to speak to her. So I did. But I think I've been coming on too strong now. I've been over the top generous and have been living like a boy scout. Good deeds, truth be told, all that ****. Chivalry. I'm a gentlemen, but not to the extent to that is ALL that I am. I'm gonna try and show her the real side of me, but I'm wondering "can I make up for all that? Can I make up for all the stuff that I've done that would make me seem desperate?"

 

I've always been told to not come on too strong, or they'll take you as a sucker. I'm possitive I'm not like that, but now when I'm around her I always am. Is there still a chance?

[Meanie]

First off, fabulous title! It really got my attention. Thought it was going to be about plastic surgery.

 

So you've been a real wussy around this girl. How has she reacted to that? Has she been pushing you away? Does she still even want to talk to you? Do you two hang out together...with all her girlfriends?

 

There could be hope. Maybe you haven't been as bad as you said? I need a little more info about how she treats you.

[icas]

Haha. I'm glad you liked the title. Thanks for replying too.

 

Well, actually I'd say she's been trying to get a little more in contact with me. You know, after I ignored her for a year. I'm a dumbass for doing so. Now, in my first post I never said why. So here's why...

 

As you know we two have always been there for eachother through all the stuff that gets us down. There were troubles at home and I was deeply depressed about it. I was feeling kinda miserable about it. Kinda felt a little confused. During that time stuff happened that really worried her. Stuff that actually made her feel really terrible, but I was too ****ing dense to see it. Anyways, she still helped me out. Afterwards I found out the truth that some of the things that happened, and some of the things I did did upset her. That was probably one of the worst feelings I got right there. I wouldn't ever want her to feel that way, especially not because of me.

 

So a normal year passed, but then there were reoccurences in the home again. I couldn't talk to her, I was afraid that if I talked to her something might slip and she'd start worrying again. I couldn't do that to her again, so I ignored her. For a year. Now I'm fed up with all this ****. I can't ignore her anymore, not if she means this much to me. We hadn't been talking to eachother for a long time. However, yesterday I had this really great talk with her though. It really got to me how much I missed talking to her. I hope we can make ammends.