Author thr1986 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 For me, there are unspoken boundaries in a quality relationship and one of them is being respectful of a partner with respect to members of the opposite sex. A mature significant other with respect for the relationship would not be flirting with other men much less bragging about their sexual exploits. There is simply no excuse for this kind of behavior. It doesn't matter whether it's in RL or on social media; someone who takes a relationship seriously and truly cares for their partner will not be displaying attention seeking behavior. In my mind, your only mistake was not approaching her about it earlier. I dated a woman briefly that I met via OLD and I saw how she acted over social media. Selfie after selfie, "liking" posts from guys that were inappropriate (a married man stating that she was "so f-cking hot"), and throwing up posts that were intended to elicit flirty responses. I calmly called it off and walked away. I know what you're saying here. I know girls who do this. My girlfriend doesn't post anything like that on social media. She posts a lot of photos of her and I actually. But I have noticed on social media she will often times not "like" my posts but she does like the post of other guys which confuses me Perhaps another example of a lack of respect? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 But I have noticed on social media she will often times not "like" my posts but she does like the post of other guys which confuses me Perhaps another example of a lack of respect? Perhaps, but a pretty paltry one compared to some of the other examples you've given. What is it that you're looking for from folks here? It seems like trying to convince you that this isn't a relationship worth saving isn't getting anywhere, so what is it that you want? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I know what you're saying here. I know girls who do this. My girlfriend doesn't post anything like that on social media. She posts a lot of photos of her and I actually. But I have noticed on social media she will often times not "like" my posts but she does like the post of other guys which confuses me Perhaps another example of a lack of respect? Nothing compared to what she's already been doing. I have been down the road your on and it doesn't end well, my friend. In the situation I was in (not what I described above) my significant other let guys post inappropriate, sexual comments on her social media accounts. I approached her about it and she told me that she was insecure and didn't feel like she deserved to be talked to in any other way. I did my best to assure her otherwise but it just kept happening. I spilled over into other aspects of our relationship as my hackles would go up anytime she posted anything remotely provocative or I saw she was communicating with one of these guys posting this crap. It got to the point where I was accused of being jealous and possessive and I actually started to feel like I was being that way. Before you know it, I am apologizing for things that I shouldn't be apologizing for and that just fed into it more. I felt like crap on two levels; my partner was letting guys talk to her like she was a street-walking hooker and I was an overbearing, controlling boyfriend for being upset about it. It was one of the things that ended up killing our relationship. At this point in my life, I will not keep in contact with any woman that I feel is seeking attention from males for this very reason. Relationships are hard enough without a significant other who doesn't have boundaries. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 My girlfriend works at a hospital. We're both 30 years old. We live together and have been dating over a year but have known one another and been somewhat romantic for about 3 years. There is a guy who works at the hospital who I have had the feeling based on their "friendly" relationship has a sexual interest in my girlfriend. She seems to like him, always inviting him places with us, when they see one another they're always very touchy and he even said to me once "your girlfriend has an amazing ass" Anyways, the other night at 2:30 AM he sent her phone a "share my location" request in apple "find my friends" The phone vibrated and woke us up. I asked her why he would do that and she said it must have been an accident. Ive never accused her of cheating or anything and never acted like im worried or suspicious of her relationship with this guy. What do you guys think? is this suspicious? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 OP, you've been given ample advice on your other thread. You're in a deep state of denial. Your girlfriend thrives on attention from other men. Period. In whichever form she can get -- she wants it and will entertain it. Embrace that and accept it. At this point, if she was having sex right infront of you with another guy, you'd likely post a thread asking what it means. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 (edited) You have posted a few other threads about your relationship, including how she talks to your friends about previous sex-capades she has had with other guys in front of you. Yes, you should be concerned. Not just because the above indicates shaky boundaries on her part, which is already a real problem. I also find it hard to believe this guy was "Accidently" on your girlfriend's profile at 2:30 in the morning. Edited June 23, 2017 by Imajerk17 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thr1986 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. Why not? Can you break up with someone because of disrespect? Being inconsiderate? Untrustworthy? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 How many times do you need us to agree that, yes, she is disrespectful? It manifests itself in various ways (victim mentality, attention-seeking behaviour) but it still all boils down to her being all about herself. You are an accessory in her life, not a true partner. She wears you around at home but takes you off in public so she can try on either shiny new baubles. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. Well, there is much more to your situation than just this issue. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 You sure can break up with someone based on speculation. This isn't court; you don't need undeniable proof. Whose approval are you searching for? You can exit a relationship any time you feel disrespected. Based on your previous thread, this is the general theme in your relationship. Stay if you want, but you're doing so while openly admitting you find her overall attitude toward you and the relationship crappy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 Just ask her. Explain the Your gf has a nice azz comment and go from there. Ask if she would be ok with you touching another girl like that all the time. Then straight out ask if she is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 You can break up with someone for any reason. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 when they see one another they're always very touchy and he even said to me once "your girlfriend has an amazing ass" Dude?!!? So did you agree with him? When you GF is getting touched up in front of you, do you smile? Dude?!!? Come on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 Since its an Apple device, couldn't you sync the texts to also appear on your computer ?. So why not do that, and see what their saying. Ted. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 No matter what no realtionship is going to work with three in it which is what you have. IMO, I'd man up and say him or me and if she couldn't make that decision I'd walk. Weakness on your part is the biggest problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 OP, Having just read your other thread I urge you to do 2 things. 1. Dump this Chick. 2. Get an STD Test. It really is as simple as that. Drunk chicks who like to share sexual war stories in front of their boyfriends to a group of other guys is doing nothing short of seeking validation and attention from men who are not you. Obviously if the guy who told you he liked your GF's ass is forward enough to say that to you I'm sure she is well aware of the compliment as he has made it to her more than once. Get your head out of your arse and get rid of her, or you are going to have the worst summer you've had in recent memory. Seriously dude, this is a no brainer E effing JECT with extreme prejudice and tell her to piss off 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 No matter what no realtionship is going to work with three in it which is what you have. IMO, I'd man up and say him or me and if she couldn't make that decision I'd walk. Weakness on your part is the biggest problem. In most cases I would agree but in a situation like this I think any ultimatum on OP's part would probably backfire. She will chose her orbiters based on her War Story presentations alone....OP is a known quantity and it's Beta. He needs to just walk without a word to her and drop out of her life. She will laugh at any ultimatum. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? You have all the proof you need. Your relationship isn't a court of law, it's a court of having the intestinal fortitude to refuse to accept such treatment. You seem like too nice a guy. I know, I was one once until I got really pissed off years ago when I walked in on my Fiance and my best friend in my bed. I gave the hook to the nice guy in myself that day and I vowed for him to never return. And thus far 30 years on he hasn't. And I'm better off for it. Stop looking for excuses to stay with someone who you are giving no reason to respect you in any way. Come on Man, are you 13? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. What other proof do you need? My dear you need to drop and forget.. This is why your in such denial. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thummper Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 Why does she invite this clown on dates with you? That would be enough to do it for me, but, hey, it's your "relationship." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 You don't need proof....you can breakup up just because you are unhappy. All you are doing by staying with her is torturing yourself. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 (edited) There is a guy who works at the hospital who I have had the feeling based on their "friendly" relationship has a sexual interest in my girlfriend. She seems to like him, always inviting him places with us, when they see one another they're always very touchy and he even said to me once "your girlfriend has an amazing ass"I just need proof. I can't break up with someone based on speculation. Your girlfriend dances with other men when you go to the bathroom, she is over the top flirty with other men with you are right there, she has a male coworker where they both are "very touchy" with each other when he goes places with the two of you, and this male coworker has confirmed that he is sexually attracted to her when he tells you to your face that "your girlfriend has an amazing ass". What exactly do you still need to prove when it comes to you being being disrespected by both your girlfriend and other men that she is with? Edited June 26, 2017 by Try Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 You father is a narcissist. You are subconsciously trying to heal this pattern because your girlfriend is also a narcissist. If you don't put your foot down and break up with her now, your future girlfriend will be a narcissist. And the one after that until you learn to spot the pattern and put up significant boundaries. How do I see more value in myself and project more confidence? It's hard to just think totally differently. Does anyone have any advice or resources for this? Find some videos on Youtube about EFT (emotional freedom technique). Works very well for emotional issues and overcoming trauma, no matter how silly it may seem at first. You deserve to invest at least the amount of time you post about this abusive girlfriend in improving your own health and well-being. Link to post Share on other sites
funraiser Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Man... what a drama... why are you with a woman you don't trust?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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