His Family Sucks

[AnimalsWithAppetites]

Hi everyone. This is my first time posting but I didn't know where else to do it so here I am. Well, my partner and I have been together for almost eight months. I love him so much and I know he loves me back. I've had nothing but bad experiences with them and I've only seen them once. It first started when his step sister barged into his room while we were video chatting and called me ugly and said ew right in front of me. He didn't defend me and he just kicked her out. Then, his mom assumed I was transgender (not really sure why honestly) and also tried to "expose" me by saying she knew my real name. I don't know why she even tried to make it seem like a bad thing, the name I go by is simply a nickname. Then, she refused to let him see me for awhile when he came to visit her (He lives an hour away from me and I live a few minutes away from his mom). She even said we "weren't good for each other" which is the complete opposite because we make each other extremely happy and have a healthy relationship. Well, his parents found out we had sex and they absolutely refuse to let him ever see me. His dad even called me a "hoe." Yes, a grown man with kids called a teenager a "hoe." When I found this out, I was outraged and both my partners parents agreed we should break up. We didn't, but the fact that they seem to think I'm a terrible person because of all this makes me infuriated. Today though, I found a video of my partner and his cousin together (nothing weird) but in the video she claimed "He isn't loyal" and proceeded to say "Whoever this (my name) girl is, you're ugly as ever" and then laughed. He told me she was even going to post that video on Snapchat. Obviously, I was hurt by this and this is the last straw. If you're wondering, he does defend me but still, I have been nothing but respectful and polite to his family and this is how they treat me. I try not to let it get to me but it's very hard. I'm not willing to break up with him over this, and I'm not asking for advice but I just needed to vent. If you do have advice though, please help me out.

[Knix]

Woah. That sounds absolutely awful. It sounds like these parents have taught their kids to have NO respect for women. A lot of people would leave this guy because his family sounds disgusting.

 

 

With that said, it also doesn't sound like he does much of anything to defend you, or protect you from hearing the nasty things they have to say. Being in a video with his cousin that says you're ugly is WRONG, step sister saying you're ugly on video chat with him is WRONG, telling you his dad called you a whore is WRONG, it goes on and on. Someone that loves you would privately tell their family to knock it off, and at the very least would make sure that you aren't hearing all these horrible things.

 

 

My mom and sisters can be VERY judgmental when it comes to men, and they've had no problem telling me when a boyfriend left that they didn't like him-- but you don't try to hurt someone you don't know, to control who they see.

 

 

This isn't going to change and with that said, because his family is so disrespectful to you to your face, don't assume he's respectful behind your back. Sounds like his family raised him and his siblings the wrong way, and it's a battle you'll never win staying in the relationship. He will end up ending it with you and being the hero of his family. Just end it with him and go out with someone that respects you. Any boyfriend you have's family doesn't have to like you, but they need to respect you. Period.

Edited June 19, 2017 by Knix

[preraph]

Maybe it will make it easier to dump him if you realize that these were his role models and he's got some of that in him.

[guest569]

That is horrid and I feel that it is his issue , not yours. He needs to put them in their place. How old are these people? Ie. Your partner and his cousin and sis. It is incredibly immature