HAZE46 Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Hey I know this may sound like a really trivial matter but I was just looking for someone elses opinion? I live with my boyfriend of 2 years in a different city to where I grew up so I dont have many friends close by but recently I bought I new dress, which I absolutly fell in love with you one of them you just had to have it buys? I thought I looked really good in it and that it was really flattering on. So when I took it home I couldnt wait to show it off to my boyfriend. The dress this floor lenght but quite tight up top around the bust, when I showed my partner he was less than impressed he said I looked like a tramp and it was really trashy and worse of all that I didnt have the figure to carry it off. I dont want to sound bad but I am only a size 8. Does anyone else think that that is a horrid thing to say? It amount other things is really starting to make me doubt our future together. I would have though that any man with a goodlooking girlfriend would be proud to show her off but he said it make it feel uncomfortable to go out with me but I wasnt to go out on my own. I just wondered why he cant appreciate what he has got? I know its pretty petty but I feel its like the icing on the cake or do you think Im being really silly (Everyone likes to feel sexy as some point good ego boost) Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 depends on the girl. I would speak my mind to my girl. She can take it. After all, she wants to look her best when we go out. Ever happened a couple times when she bought a new lingerie and I hated it. She respectfully never wore it again But I think if it was some other girl, I would be camping out alone that night or sleeping in the sofa in the living room Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by HAZE46 The dress this floor lenght but quite tight up top around the bust, when I showed my partner he was less than impressed he said I looked like a tramp and it was really trashy and worse of all that I didnt have the figure to carry it off. I dont want to sound bad but I am only a size 8. Does anyone else think that that is a horrid thing to say? It amount other things is really starting to make me doubt our future together.....do you think Im being really silly No. The way you describe it, it sounds as if he saw you all happy and aglow with your new purchase, and decided to burst your bubble with an offensive comment. Had he said "I don't like it, but you're the one who has to wear it" then that would have been blunt and up front. Responding that you look like a "tramp" strikes me as just plain crass. That's only my value judgement, though. It's useful to consider his perception of what you would find acceptable. Is this the sort of language you would use when you're talking about other women? If so, then he might feel that you're robust enough to handle being described in the same terms. If, on the other hand, his brand of bluntness is completely different from the way you handle yourself, then the two of you probably do need to work out if and how you can carry on a relationship without it being constantly interrupted and spoiled by crossed communications. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 yeah, "tramp" is way too strong a word to use on a girl. He sounds crass. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 No. The way you describe it, it sounds as if he saw you all happy and aglow with your new purchase, and decided to burst your bubble with an offensive comment. Had he said "I don't like it, but you're the one who has to wear it" then that would have been blunt and up front. Responding that you look like a "tramp" strikes me as just plain crass. That's only my value judgement, though My gosh! You cannot possibly reach this conclusion given the information you have. This is a huge leap across a vast morass of assumptions! Perhaps he was appalled at the ghastly looking dress and was trying to get the message across in a hamhanded manner that the dress looks terrible. You only have this poster's word that it's a great-looking dress but I know a couple of women who dress very badly but think their clothes look 'sexy' on them. They couldn't be further wrong. Frankly, they do look trampy. The OP might have chosen a dress that does look real bad on her so to bash this guy isn't exactly fair IMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 5, 2005 Share Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by Outcast My gosh! You cannot possibly reach this conclusion given the information you have. This is a huge leap across a vast morass of assumptions! Perhaps he was appalled at the ghastly looking dress and was trying to get the message across in a hamhanded manner that the dress looks terrible. You only have this poster's word that it's a great-looking dress but I know a couple of women who dress very badly but think their clothes look 'sexy' on them. They couldn't be further wrong. Frankly, they do look trampy. The OP might have chosen a dress that does look real bad on her so to bash this guy isn't exactly fair IMHO. Use of the words "the way you describe it, it sounds..." should indicate that this was an impression rather than a conclusion. If you think this guy expressed his view in acceptable terms, that's up to you. It doesn't sound as if the OP was impressed, and I find that understandable. Link to post Share on other sites
spider007 Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 haw much money did you spend on it???? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.positive Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 He's just being jealous. The way you describe it I imagine you looked hot. Link to post Share on other sites
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 Even if the dress was the most hideous thing on God's green earth, he still should not have been rude about it. Has he ever heard of this little word called "tact" ? There are ways of going about telling someone something that they don't want to hear, so that it doesn't totally hurt their feelings. For example, I made this special dinner for my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I was so excited because he loved this angel food cake with chocolate chips in it that was sold in this grocery store 1000 miles away, and I found a comparable recipe. I made it, and he hated it. He didn't just come out and say he hated it, of course. He tried not to trample on my feelings by saying that almost everything I make is great, but this one item he couldn't bring himself to eat. I was bummed that it didn't turn out as good as I had hoped, but it was okay because he was polite about it. What no one else has commented on which I think is a big deal, is that you said that this is just the icing on the cake. Apparently he has committed many more relational boo-boos that are causing you pain. You deserve better. Read "He's just not that into you" and you'll see what I mean. By the way, you're only an 8 for pete's sake. Wear the dress and feel sexy in it. Link to post Share on other sites
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