righteous Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Right so, me and my girlfriend have been together almost 9 months now and it has been great, but recently she has been spending a lot of time with another guy. This one time she goes out for the day with this guy and I find out that they kissed. I chose to forgive and forget because she apparently doesn't view kissing as cheating and she promised that it wouldn't happen again. But I recently found out that the same guy taken her to a beach and she kissed him again. I really love my girlfriend, but I am finding it hard to cope with the fact this is happening. I don't know whether I should break up with her or forgive her. I really need help with this and would appreciate any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Why would you forgive? I view kissing another guy as cheating, no if's, no but's. She believe's it's not cheating. The big question is do you!!! And being here asking that question really answer that. Move on, once a cheater always a cheater. Forgiving once is a blessing, twice is taking the micky. Stand up and move on. Obviously you like her but don't fool yourself...she spending time with another guy and kissing him.. Seriously dude stand up!!! Sorry to be blunt, but best hear it here! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) ^ Exactly. Sounds like she's telling you a complete load of rubbish. She doesn't view it as cheating?? Sorry if you believe that then I have a bridge to sell you. And what does it matter whether SHE views it as cheating or not, it's how YOU view it that matters. Of course it's cheating. How do you think she would react if you kissed another girl? I guarantee you wold be dumped before you could say "hypocrisy". Why would she promise not to do it again if she doesn't think she's done anything wrong? If she genuinely doesn't consider it cheating then she would just say it's not cheating so I'll keep doing it because there's nothing wrong with it...? Forgiveness is impossible unless she is remorseful. And she isn't the slightest bit remorseful. So how can you forgive? Well she's shown you exactly what kind of future you will have if you stick with her. You will have to share her with multiple other guys. Are you OK with that? I certainly wouldn't be. Edited June 20, 2017 by PegNosePete 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marco Valerio Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Right so, me and my girlfriend have been together almost 9 months now and it has been great, but recently she has been spending a lot of time with another guy. This one time she goes out for the day with this guy and I find out that they kissed. I chose to forgive and forget because she apparently doesn't view kissing as cheating and she promised that it wouldn't happen again. But I recently found out that the same guy taken her to a beach and she kissed him again. I really love my girlfriend, but I am finding it hard to cope with the fact this is happening. I don't know whether I should break up with her or forgive her. I really need help with this and would appreciate any advice.[/quote Please, read it again. Now imagine I was the one asking for your advice!!! What a bastard girl!! How convenient for her that kissing is not cheating, now she can do it whenever she wants and you´ll not complaint about it!! I'm sure ****ing around is not cheating either, maybe you should check it with her too!! Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 She's trying out your replacement. If not him, then the next guy friend she makes. Or she's just not cut out for fidelity and monogamy - if that's an issue for you, move on. If not, then go kiss some other girls and see if she's okay with that. (BTW, it's probably a lot more than "kissing.") 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Stop taking her seriously. Give her a smacked arse, and go and chat up other women. Just ridiculous Stop taking the relationship more seriously than she is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author righteous Posted June 20, 2017 Author Share Posted June 20, 2017 Thank you for that. I am not really good at making decisions in this so thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
NopeNah Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 My now exgf of 14months got drunk/angry for no reason(she has a drinking problem) the other night and when I refused to engage in her drunken tirade over nothing( I know she was mad at herself and lashed out at me instead),just kept trying to keep throwing 'digs' at me. One was "I've cheated on you multiple times!". My response was https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVrEwCa8nSA. Then I ordered her an uber and told her to get off my property. I suggest you do the same. Next her a$$! Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 She cheated on you. Worse is she's keeping you around to see how the new guy is so if things don't go well with him she can lean on you. Kick her to the curb. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Have you previously had the exclusivity talk with her or not? If you have both agreed to not see other people, then obviously, this is a breach. If you have failed to initiate an exclusive arrangement by talking to her about it, then she can date whoever she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
barnabas17 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this. I think it's quite admirable to be willing to forgive others. I think it's important, though, that you have a chat with your girlfriend about setting boundaries with others. I think in a committed relationship, such as a marriage, whatever you save for the marriage will pay you back in full, and then some. I've seen many relationships mistake physical intimacy for emotional/spiritual intimacy. Praying for wisdom as you make your next steps. Link to post Share on other sites
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