Camillus Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 My father and mother were on the rocks, still together but sort of separate. My father had another woman that he was having a relationship with. My father asked me to meet the other woman which I did. The other woman had a daughter. the daughter and I met, fell in love and were married. I find this very embarrassing and never tell anyone who didn't already know. Should I embarrassed? Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Well I would probably leave out details for most people, just because my parents having an affair isn't a discussion I'd have with just anyone. But overall I don't think it's anything for you to be embarrassed about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 Heck no! Just another instance of God turning a tragedy into a miracle. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Doorstopper Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 All you have to say is "She is the daughter of one of my father's friends" and leave it at that. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 We've all read about "triggers" on way too many threads here. How to recognize them. How to get over them. Etc. How does your mother deal with your wife? How do you handle family get togethers? I see more triggers than at an NRA convention. And I haven't even considered her mother in these questions. If you can deal with the immediate family situation, the "daughter of a friend of my father's" answer should be easy to handle. Most people (especially of the male persuasion) make such inquiries out of politeness rather than actual interest. So they will be satisfied with that answer. In fact you could say "we met on a trip to Mars" and most would politely say "that's nice" , smile, and Move on to another topic of discussion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 My father and mother were on the rocks, still together but sort of separate. My father had another woman that he was having a relationship with. My father asked me to meet the other woman which I did. The other woman had a daughter. the daughter and I met, fell in love and were married. I find this very embarrassing and never tell anyone who didn't already know. Should I embarrassed?Don't worry about should.. ...you are embarrassed. so what? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 My father and mother were on the rocks, still together but sort of separate. My father had another woman that he was having a relationship with. My father asked me to meet the other woman which I did. The other woman had a daughter. the daughter and I met, fell in love and were married. I find this very embarrassing and never tell anyone who didn't already know. Should I embarrassed? I would think even more painful for your mother. How does your mom feel about people learning about this? And, am I wrong to assume that your mom knows the truth on how you met your wife? All you have to say is "She is the daughter of one of my father's friends" and leave it at that. Do not even have to answer that question. Just change the subject. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I'm another who is feeling for your mother in this situation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I admit I met my husband at a Goth/Techno club while I was married to my exH. Tell the truth and let people handle their own reactions. What others think isn't your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 absolutley no need to be embarressed about how you met someone that is right for you. Truly...who cares Be HAPPY!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 22, 2017 Share Posted June 22, 2017 How often do people ask how you met. Yes, I would be embarrassed if I met my spouse through the my parents affair partner. I think it would show my parent in a negative light... That they introduced me... Their child to a romantic partner while still with my other parent. So I wouldn't mention it to anyone. No need. How you explain it to any future kids is another story... How would they respect Grandpa after hearing that. When you say together, but seperate .... Was your mother aware your father was dating? Link to post Share on other sites
barnabas17 Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 Hi, I think marriage in the right context is awesome; I think you should embrace your marriage and intentionally strengthen it A useful tool I've found is in the following article, Put a Spark in Your Marriage by Reigniting Your Friendship | Focus on the Family A strong marriage will overcome any embarrassment you may feel. Celebrate! Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I think that is actually a very good story of how you two met. God brings people into each others lives for a reason. Your dad met the other woman so that you and your wife would meet. Something good came out of it! Be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I can understand the embarrassment ... having to admit that your father is a philander. But then again, that is nobody's business. I love the answer which suggested all you need to reveal is that you met through your father or that she is the daughter of one of your father's friends. More details are not required. As pointed out your mother certainly doesn't need the reminder of your father's infidelity either. Link to post Share on other sites
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