Dont give up

[Growthmind]

Not sure why I am posting here probably to get it off my chest and relieve some of the stress as us men often let it build up.

To summarize: My wife and I split at Xmas,2wks before an exotic trip I had being saving for 2years for.She had been seeing a guy behind my back and went to NYC with him,left me to go on the trip by myself to a foreign country and no one I knew.Those few wks on how were horrendous,I drank myself to sleep each night as the stress and betrayal I could not sleep.

I got stiffed on the flights,hotels etc paying for two and no insurance cover.

She blew all her savings on this guy in 3mth,secretary borrowed from me telling me a lie and false hope of reconciliation.

 

11 years together, o kids both late 30s.I supported her,took her from her home country to the USA,got citizenship,we both never argued,I really helped her n we had a good marriage.

 

She left me for a guy with money,even though he let her spend everything she saved over 30K.He is older than I,unathlethic and two kids from a previous relationship where he cheated.

 

That's the back story it's a lot uglier than I am telling and I have gone through hell the past 6mth.

 

Left alone to carry all financial burden running the house,tending to animals,full-time job,travel with work,trying to work out separation agreement the stress is huge and the loneliness very hard.

 

Her friends can't believe she left me and I am think I was a v good husband,no abuse and hard working.

 

I have major trust issues,started counselling and generally feel like no purpose in life at the moment.I just can't believe how cruel she did this to me,never gave me a chance or said anything was wrong and acts like it is all cool in her life.

 

She broke up by text message after 11yrs marriage,I keep it all inside but it's really affected me.Only now I am getting back to my motivation and taking on new projects and a new business.My dog keeps me going,solitary walks and time reading books learning with some overseas travel.Not sure if I can ever trust again but I feel hope that I have such resilience.Despite facing financial ruin I will over come this and posting to say to other men and women don't give up nope and be as good as you can.

 

Hardest event in my life and stupidly I still care for her but I hope it won't define me.Stay strong folks.

 

Mike

[Spartakooty]

Holy cow. I think there is a screenplay in there! Makes my crappy little year-long romance and breakup sound like piffle. Stay strong! Getting through that is inspiring.

[Growthmind]

Yes it seems like a bad movie and I look back on the last 6months and feel really proud that I kept my integrity,sanity mostly and have come so far.I've found a self belief in myself and a hunger to achieve,not let this define myself and to stretch the boundaries to overcome.Anyone else who reads this and is struggling there is a better day,I'm still early on my journey and I urge you all to stick with it and be proud of yourself.

[Superchicken]

Best time to learn how to cook !.

Grab some books, and start cooking.

Go to some classes. and meet others..

 

 

Good luck.

 

 

Ted.

[Seth0194]

Not sure why I am posting here probably to get it off my chest and relieve some of the stress as us men often let it build up.

To summarize: My wife and I split at Xmas,2wks before an exotic trip I had being saving for 2years for.She had been seeing a guy behind my back and went to NYC with him,left me to go on the trip by myself to a foreign country and no one I knew.Those few wks on how were horrendous,I drank myself to sleep each night as the stress and betrayal I could not sleep.

I got stiffed on the flights,hotels etc paying for two and no insurance cover.

She blew all her savings on this guy in 3mth,secretary borrowed from me telling me a lie and false hope of reconciliation.

 

11 years together, o kids both late 30s.I supported her,took her from her home country to the USA,got citizenship,we both never argued,I really helped her n we had a good marriage.

 

She left me for a guy with money,even though he let her spend everything she saved over 30K.He is older than I,unathlethic and two kids from a previous relationship where he cheated.

 

That's the back story it's a lot uglier than I am telling and I have gone through hell the past 6mth.

 

Left alone to carry all financial burden running the house,tending to animals,full-time job,travel with work,trying to work out separation agreement the stress is huge and the loneliness very hard.

 

Her friends can't believe she left me and I am think I was a v good husband,no abuse and hard working.

 

I have major trust issues,started counselling and generally feel like no purpose in life at the moment.I just can't believe how cruel she did this to me,never gave me a chance or said anything was wrong and acts like it is all cool in her life.

 

She broke up by text message after 11yrs marriage,I keep it all inside but it's really affected me.Only now I am getting back to my motivation and taking on new projects and a new business.My dog keeps me going,solitary walks and time reading books learning with some overseas travel.Not sure if I can ever trust again but I feel hope that I have such resilience.Despite facing financial ruin I will over come this and posting to say to other men and women don't give up nope and be as good as you can.

 

Hardest event in my life and stupidly I still care for her but I hope it won't define me.Stay strong folks.

 

Mike

 

Well first from what you said, I do not think you did anything wrong this is her, so do not feel like you failed or broken. She made a choice to break the vows she took with you. It is never easy, 11 years is a long time, be thankful for the memories and know there is a lot of life left to live. As someone said. Take a music lesson, cooking class, pick up a new book, new hobby, something that will get you interacting with others.

 

It takes time, and it is different for us all. My ex wife of 9 years hit me hard, but I dated a women for 3 1/2 years that almost devastated me. I am still here and living, don't let life pass you by. Write down your thoughts, get it all out fill the journal up, fill three of them up. Then burn them, let all of it go and make a promise to yourself that you are going to enjoy the rest of your life.

 

I wish you the very best.