lostnhurt Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Hello, everyone, I'm new here, never thought I will be here tbh. The situation is messed up. I don't even know where to begin. He and his ex broke up 5 years ago, they've got two daughters, they've been together for 11 years. We're still kinda young, I'm 32 and he's 38, been together 2,5 years, we JUST got engaged. His ex still loves him and hates me, truly, she didn't even want to meet me, she didn't want me to meet their daughters etc, but she finally accepted it as me and my fiance live together. His younger daughter had birthday recently and he went to visit her.. they had a small party and came back in the morning, drunk. He's not a heavy drinker, he only drinks occasionally. I tried to call him several times but his phone was switched off. I was waiting for him but I had a very important meeting in the morning so I tried to sleep. He woke me up in the morning and I didn't recognize him... he was like a totally different person. He was vomiting and looked just horrible, I was shocked because I never saw him like this. I went to work and when I came back, he still wasn't feeling well. He said he didn't drink much, though... And he's a big guy so I didn't know what's going on. Fee says later, somewhere around 12pm his ex came to pick her daughters from us, he was at work and she looked at me with a weird smile on her face... Then she just asked me "he didn't tell you, did he?" I gave her a very confused look and asked what was he supposed to tell me. She just said "he's still as good as before"... I just asked her what does she mean, she said "ask your fiance". I was furious, I felt like she just slapped me on the face. When I confronted him about it, he was calm and said that he wasn't even sure they had sex... He said he woke up next to her, but he was dressed and his penis wasn't hurt or anything, he didn't feel like he had sex. He admitted he blacked out and can't rememeber a thing. I don't think he's lying, I know him well and I know he would tell me if they did it. But he doesn't even love her anymore, he doesn't look at her like he looks at me, he doesn't talk to her like he talks to me etc... They're really done and I know he loves me to death and would never ever hurt me or do anything what could cause a breakup. I'm really confused, what IF he lies... what if he knew what he was doing... But maybe she's lying... She would jump off the cliff to get him back... Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 It was his daughter's birthday party. What kind of a party is it when the parents are getting blacked out drunk? Why didn't he tell you that he woke up next to her? It would have been the smart thing to do knowing that the ex is waiting to jeopardize the relationship. Then act so casual when you asked him? Where are his boundaries in that he thinks it's okay to behave in such a way where he puts himself in a situation where he has to stay the night at his ex's? Puts himself in a situation where he's unreachable by phone. I smell something bad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 He is lying... Sorry, but he is. He choose to do this, it does not work that way. No doubt, she egged it on, but he choose to participate. You really can't usually screw even at 38 if you are that drunk. Not saying it is impossible, just not usually. You have to choose what you want to do with this. I will say this, if you put a gun to my head, I would not sleep with my ex no matter how drunk I was....just the thought, yuck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 Of course he's lying. Like Zahara said what type of kids party does the father get black out drunk with his baby moma. The party they had together when they put the child to bed is what kind. He knew what he was doing and is still weak for her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 I have been having sex wrong my entire life if a hurt penis the following morning is a tell-tale sign of sexual activity the previous night. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted June 21, 2017 Share Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) He's lying. They had sex. And it wasn't an accident. He turned his phone off so they wouldn't be distributed. What's love have to do with anything? Plenty of people who love their partners cheat. What does being broken up and done have to do with it? The phrase sex with the ex exists because screwing an ex is so common it's cliche. Personally, I'd take my ball and go home. Who needs a guy with Baby Momma drama that can't be trusted? Also, he better pray she didn't conceive their 3rd child together during his drunken encounter. Edited June 21, 2017 by MJJean 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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