Is she cheating?

[Mrstoops]

My wife has always been faithful. 27 years and no issues. Last year I looked on her phone and found she had a conversation where she and another guy were fantasizing about sex. She apologized, cried, and said she felt unloved and it was only for attention and that they never met. I forgave her. I was neglecting her for sure.

We were leaving on vacation the other day. I got a text saying "I slept with your wife". Huh? He said it was a fling. Said it had gone on over a year but as recent as a month ago. Said they met via FB and met up for drinks ( she is never out of my sight in the evenings and has our kids during the day so not sure that's true). Told me she has a passcode( which she does. She tells me it's to keep our youngest from messing with her phone. He's 10 and he does. So red flag? Maybe.) He then to prove things says they use a dildo, which she does have. Then he comments how tight she is for having had 2 kids( very crass but?). So I ask if she's shaved or has hair. ( He says hairy but I said he was wrong. Then he says she has peach fuzz which is true). He then describes our 2 vehicles, tells me about a warrant she has ( letting her drivers listen cr expire for 2 years). He tells me we have 2 adopted and 2 biological kids and says they usually go to his house. He told me he would call her phone so I could put it on speaker. Instead he sent her 2 voicemails and disguised his voice ( very fishy). The one thing that he couldn't have seen on her FB is I asked for a screen shot of their texts. So he sends me a screen shot of a conversation which shows her cell# at the top.( That startled me. Can that be fake? Are there Apps to create that?). I've texted this nut and he says he would be glad to meet and talk in a couple weeks. Until then I'm freaking out and not talking to my wife.

I don't want to be naive. I love her. She says she loves me and began crying saying she has no clue why anyone would be this cruel. The thought of my wife with another man is scary. She has never in all our marriage done drugs, drank other than occasionally, basically always just wanted to be a mom. We've been foster parents which was her lifelong dream. There are several holes in his story but a few things are things I don't know that he can know. Opinions please!

[Poutrew]

At this point, keep the guy talking. Ask if the wife has any identifying moles or body marks anywhere. Ask him to tell you things only you or her gynecologist would know... For your sake I hope it isn't true...but, where there is smoke there may be fire... would your wife be willing to take polygraph test if push came down to shove?

[usa1ah]

Don't know, some of the things are to close for comfort. The thing for me is what she did a year ago then this. Sounds like it might be the same guy as then. They just hid it better and made it a PA.

[Gaeta]

Contact your phone company and have the number identified. If they won't then find yourself a geek that wiĺl do it.

 

I don't beleive it. If he had something to say he'd meet you now not in 2 weeks. Nothing will happen in 2 weeks he is just wanting to play with you.

[usa1ah]

Another thing, he might be doing this for a couple of reasons.

 

Your wife lead him on then stopped. Him taking it out on her.

 

Your wife had an affair with him then stopped it. His not happy that she stopped seeing him.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

What in the world would someone's motive be for doing this to a mother of four if it wasn't true?

 

Also, I'm quite sure she could find some time to meet him for drinks even if she is "never out of your sight." People who have affairs are very sneaky and resourceful.

[Zulbi]

Yes, there are plenty of apps that will allow you to mimic txt message. He sounds like he is obsessed with your wife. If he is the same guy from the text he might be bitter and trying to ruin you relationship. I know it's hard but I suggest talking to your wife about it. He might be blackmailing her as well. As a house wife it's possible that she talked to him as a friend. It's possible that he was EX before she met you, and using the previous info or even catfish. The possiblities are endless.Don't meet the psychopath. Talk to your wife, considering you children.

[lolablue17]

Well, you know for sure that he wants to ruin your wife's marriage. This is his only motive. So he knows her and for some reason he want to hurt her real bad.

 

To destroy a family is not a minor action, so it's a little suspicious for her not to have a clue who wants to hurt her like that. Ask him to tell you his name, or send you a picture of him or any other identification sign.

[coolheadal]

My wife has always been faithful. 27 years and no issues. Last year I looked on her phone and found she had a conversation where she and another guy were fantasizing about sex. She apologized, cried, and said she felt unloved and it was only for attention and that they never met. I forgave her. I was neglecting her for sure.

We were leaving on vacation the other day. I got a text saying "I slept with your wife". Huh? He said it was a fling. Said it had gone on over a year but as recent as a month ago. Said they met via FB and met up for drinks ( she is never out of my sight in the evenings and has our kids during the day so not sure that's true). Told me she has a passcode( which she does. She tells me it's to keep our youngest from messing with her phone. He's 10 and he does. So red flag? Maybe.) He then to prove things says they use a dildo, which she does have. Then he comments how tight she is for having had 2 kids( very crass but?). So I ask if she's shaved or has hair. ( He says hairy but I said he was wrong. Then he says she has peach fuzz which is true). He then describes our 2 vehicles, tells me about a warrant she has ( letting her drivers listen cr expire for 2 years). He tells me we have 2 adopted and 2 biological kids and says they usually go to his house. He told me he would call her phone so I could put it on speaker. Instead he sent her 2 voicemails and disguised his voice ( very fishy). The one thing that he couldn't have seen on her FB is I asked for a screen shot of their texts. So he sends me a screen shot of a conversation which shows her cell# at the top.( That startled me. Can that be fake? Are there Apps to create that?). I've texted this nut and he says he would be glad to meet and talk in a couple weeks. Until then I'm freaking out and not talking to my wife.

I don't want to be naive. I love her. She says she loves me and began crying saying she has no clue why anyone would be this cruel. The thought of my wife with another man is scary. She has never in all our marriage done drugs, drank other than occasionally, basically always just wanted to be a mom. We've been foster parents which was her lifelong dream. There are several holes in his story but a few things are things I don't know that he can know. Opinions please!

 

She doesn't love enough and she's cheating both emotionally (online only) and physically (in person). She having a mid life issue but she's not faithful. You need to kick her out she's trashy, dirty what happens if this guy is carrying STDs what then? She having her fantasy her dream sex but has had it with him. She's crying because the gig is up she been found out by you the husband. Your life will never be the same. I know you love her but I've there too I am not int that relationship anymore. Can't trust them again, cheap dirty wife! This jerk he's toying with you and his ego and our failure to be her lover and husband. Don't let it get to you..

[PegNosePete]

I got a text saying "I slept with your wife". Huh?

This guy is what's called in the movies an "unreliable narrator". You don't know if he's telling the truth or not.

 

My response would have been "Yes I know. We are dealing with it".

 

Then go into deep stealth mode and find out if it's actually true.

 

Did you confront your wife yet? You say she started crying saying why would someone be so cruel so I guess you did?

[road]

Affairs do not only happen at night.

 

So because your WW is at home when you are does not mean

she is not doing the OM while you are at work.

 

Also has brought the kids there indicates when you are

at work.

 

Time to real time GPS WW car.

Hide a VAR in WW car and house.

 

Carefully ask your kids have they gone to any new houses where you

have not been to. Any houses where they went when you were

not with them when you are at work.

 

Do your detective work before you confront WW.

Consult here with evidence before you confront your WW.

Edited June 23, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
typo ~T

[smackie9]

IMO this is a pretty elaborate scheme just to mess up someone's marriage. She has a lot to lose so she's gonna do everything in her power to cover it up and deny any accusations.

 

What do you want out of this? You want to save your marriage? Then I suggest you invest in a good marriage counselor, and add another one for your wife...sounds to me she could be suffering from depression.

 

If you are looking for enough evidence for a divorce, then hire a PI. Having evidence gathered by a third party will be more admissible in court. Her defense lawyer will see opportunity to shoot holes in your own personal evidence/testimony.

 

If you are meeting this guy, bring someone else with you, maybe have them close by. This is a stranger and you don't know what he is capable of doing.....just for safety sake.

[Ahurtgirl]

I second the response of telling him that you already know about his involvement with your wife and that the two of you are working on your marriage. It takes away his power and puts you in the upper position. Then if you need to, do your own research on her phone records to find your answers.

[Chi townD]

From what you wrote. Not too descriptive on what he wrote to you. A lot of couples incorporate sex toys with sex. So, the dildo was a lucky guess. He was wrong about her grooming habits and he guessed you have two cars. Well, id this guy knows your wife, then it's not too hard to drive by the house and see two cars in the drive.

 

But, follow your gut. If your gut is telling you something is going on, then follow the trail. BUT! Drop the subject with your wife. The more clueless she thinks you are, the more relaxed she's going to get. And THAT is when she's going to make a mistake.

[Space Ritual]

My wife has always been faithful. 27 years and no issues. Last year I looked on her phone and found she had a conversation where she and another guy were fantasizing about sex. She apologized, cried, and said she felt unloved and it was only for attention and that they never met. I forgave her. I was neglecting her for sure.

We were leaving on vacation the other day. I got a text saying "I slept with your wife". Huh? He said it was a fling. Said it had gone on over a year but as recent as a month ago. Said they met via FB and met up for drinks ( she is never out of my sight in the evenings and has our kids during the day so not sure that's true). Told me she has a passcode( which she does. She tells me it's to keep our youngest from messing with her phone. He's 10 and he does. So red flag? Maybe.) He then to prove things says they use a dildo, which she does have. Then he comments how tight she is for having had 2 kids( very crass but?). So I ask if she's shaved or has hair. ( He says hairy but I said he was wrong. Then he says she has peach fuzz which is true). He then describes our 2 vehicles, tells me about a warrant she has ( letting her drivers listen cr expire for 2 years). He tells me we have 2 adopted and 2 biological kids and says they usually go to his house. He told me he would call her phone so I could put it on speaker. Instead he sent her 2 voicemails and disguised his voice ( very fishy). The one thing that he couldn't have seen on her FB is I asked for a screen shot of their texts. So he sends me a screen shot of a conversation which shows her cell# at the top.( That startled me. Can that be fake? Are there Apps to create that?). I've texted this nut and he says he would be glad to meet and talk in a couple weeks. Until then I'm freaking out and not talking to my wife.

I don't want to be naive. I love her. She says she loves me and began crying saying she has no clue why anyone would be this cruel. The thought of my wife with another man is scary. She has never in all our marriage done drugs, drank other than occasionally, basically always just wanted to be a mom. We've been foster parents which was her lifelong dream. There are several holes in his story but a few things are things I don't know that he can know. Opinions please!

 

she already crossed boundaries a year ago...I doubt this is coincidence. Sounds right out of the Cheaters handbook. Do what you want, OP.

 

But I'd never give anyone a 3rd chance. Maybe you can, and if so, you are a better man than I.