Mysterio Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 What are your dating vices and do you feel they are realistic. For me. As I have stated before. As a man. I am willing to date and explore a LTR with a woman that is Single/Widowed/Divroced without kids. Or S.W/D with 1 to 2 kids. If she is Separated. There need to be a strong sense that the Divorce is being worked on and eminnent and final within a year or so. No Bio kids with any woman until we are engaged, and married and have a fleaxable shared life plan between us. Getting along and being there for each other beyond the physical. Thats me basically at age 46 yr old Black Male in Canada. That is childless. Cats no problem as well. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 1. They need to have an established career. They don't need an extensive education but I need to know that they have the financial means to take care of themselves. But, this isn't really something you can judge from a profile (unless they say "in between jobs"..); I figure this one out after a few conversations. 2. I am hesitant to date a woman in their late 20's+ that have never had a serious relationship. In my experience, these women struggle to communicate in a mature manner in a relationship. Some experience is a necessity for me as it takes practice to handle the ups and downs of a relationship. 3. I will date women with children but I keep my eyes WIDE open in this situation. I need to see that they make their children their first priority, that there isn't serious baby-daddy drama, and that (again) they have the financial means to take care of themselves and their kids. I won't support a woman and her children financially. 4. Drugs are obviously a turn-off but so is heavy drinking. I will not date a woman in their late 20s+ that spend their weekends out in the bars, getting hammered. It simply will not be a good fit for me as I don't spend much time in social situations where there's a ton of booze flowing. 5. A woman needs to be able to handle my sense of humor. I am dry and sarcastic and that's something that I really won't tone down. I'm not inappropriate but I can come across as very cynical. A comment that I view as light-hearted fun can be taken the wrong way pretty easily. 6. Physically, I am attracted to all kinds of women. But, I am turned off by severely over-weight women. There's a difference between Big But Beautiful and obese.. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 23, 2017 Share Posted June 23, 2017 To me a 'vice' tends to be a socially or legally frowned upon habit, so I don't really know how to answer the question. Or it's something I use to clamp metal in the shop However, looking at your content, it sounds like 'preferences', so I'll go with that..... At my age, it's pretty simple. Self-sufficient, living independently, and sane, or reasonably sane. I'd date a separated woman who's living independently. Two reasons - 1. It costs a lot of money and takes substantial time to establish a separate domicile. People don't do that on a whim. 2. Women my age know themselves pretty well and if they take those steps to leave a marriage it's almost a slam dunk that they're done. Kids are grown, no ties other than money maybe and they've got it figured out. At my stage of life, I'd likely prefer that she continue to live independently. I like my space Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 Oats. You said .... won't support a woman and her children financially. I have a friend that is living with his GF of 4 yrs and their 2 bio kids born in 2015 and 2017. Plus she has two big kids 15-Boy/13-girl and they stay 5 times a week with her and 3 with their bio father. She is taking another year of maternity leave for 2018. That means my buddy will have to take care of the mortgage and everything else. I don't know where her kids fall in financially with my friend. Would you do what he is doing. He moved into her house and helps with the bills. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Share Posted June 24, 2017 The word "vices" threw me off as well, but I'll go with preferences: Male Age 42-57 roughly Compassionate and altruistic Not an Eeyore, handles setbacks with maturity and strength Has kids and is a good, strong father Shows kindness always Likes my dog, tolerates my cat Likes to express himself in writing Has a solid full time job and is financially responsible Is over all of his exes Likes to travel Likes live music Is OK with us having different interests Is respected by his peers Takes care of himself - body, mind and soul Likes nature/the outdoors Would call me on my **** if I needed it Makes me feel safe Know how to fix all the things Believes in God Drinks socially Is ok with long car rides without having to chit chat the whole time Values my independence Doesn't post his life drama on social media Has lots of good life stories to tell I'm sure there's more but this list is long.....! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 my dating "vices" are nearly all dis... dis honesty dis respect dis approval disingenuous disinterested discourteous(different from respect) cash driven so basically if a guy is honest respectful approving not hypocritical and as interested in life and me as i am in life and in him,has old school manners and beliefs,most importantly without me seeing wads of cash in his wallet that he flips open so that i might see them.....not interested in guys with loaded wallets..(in my experience cash driven guys harbor a self entitled perspective..superiority and a seething arrogance that makes my tongue bleed....from biting down...because cash seems to always come first above people with lovers of money) ).....so i dont feel i ask for much...i dont expect much...feed the ducks or ice cream on a beach feeling respected and understood......nearly all free for the guy...not so hard to manage...if he is true to himself and to me.....and then all is good....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted June 25, 2017 Author Share Posted June 25, 2017 (edited) Thanks to the Mods for Adjusting the Title. I should have put Preferences. I want to start over with my Preferences. The following is heavy detailed. I am a Black Canadian Male. Age 46 that has his own Condo/Cat and works at the Hospital with Night/Eve Shifts. So I am a Shift worker. In a nutshell. My work week is like Wk 1- 7 Nights /1 day off. Wk 2- 4 Days off 2 Eve. Wk 3-3 Eve 3 Days off. Wk-4 3 day shifts and 3 Nights all in a row with the Weekend Off afterwards. I work out at the Gym 5 days a week or so. I go to a lot of Live Music Venues/Rock Concerts. Big Movies when the come out. Fine Dining once in awhile. See Friend and Family on a regular basis. Play with my Cat. I dress well and am well groomed, mannored. Don't do Drugs/Smoke. My Personality is earnest and introspective most of the time. Not a Loud mouth, but not Mr. Quiet as well. I have more Male Friends. I Have 7 female friends. My Parents are still alive and I have a younger brother that is 2 yrs younger than me. I am a big Music guy as well. So thats me in a nutshell. My Preference to dating and explring a LTR with a woman is as follows. I want to build a relationship with a woman that is Single/Widowed Divorced without Kids. W/S/D with 1-2 kids. If she is Separated. I am open to dating her fore a year, but that divorce needs to be eminent in that year I am dating her. No livign together or Bio kids between us at that junction. If any of the women want to have kids/living together/Marriage. We have to be together at least 2 yrs for that to happen, and even then. My Preference is 2 yrs being a couple. 3rd yr engaged/married or Marry in yr 4. Her age range is 33 to 53. As long as we look relatively close in age. So we come off as contemporaries. Personality-Warm/Sweet/Sharp/Adorable girl next Door/Betty from the Archie Comics Vibe. A little bit introspective and talky. Looks natural. I am more a face guy so I hope she finds me cute and I find her pretty at least. Works out even if she is a heavy set or skinny. We both treat each other well with respect,affection and flexability/Humor. Respect our spiritual differences or commonality. Strive to better ourselves. Great Work Ethic as well. We get along each others family as well. I don't want any aloofness. I have seen it with other couples where the family does not really play a factor in their lives. Will all of this be the way I sate it? No. Yet its nice to have something to strive for. I most likely will get half of what I stated and live with what I don't get. but the core. Warm/Sweet/Sharp and Adroable, She is Single,Widowed,Divorced are non negotiable. Edited June 25, 2017 by Mysterio Link to post Share on other sites
dreamersreverie Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 My preferences include: *compassionate *caring *understanding *non-religious *emotional connection *early-mid 20s 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 And my absolute, will-not-budge one: -uses Oxford commas appropriately. If a guy does not use commas in text to me he is an automatic out. And yes he can be perfect but if his his first message is "hey [my name]" and not "hey, [my name]" It's over. I cannot do guys who do not do direct address commas. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 Oats. You said .... won't support a woman and her children financially. I have a friend that is living with his GF of 4 yrs and their 2 bio kids born in 2015 and 2017. Plus she has two big kids 15-Boy/13-girl and they stay 5 times a week with her and 3 with their bio father. She is taking another year of maternity leave for 2018. That means my buddy will have to take care of the mortgage and everything else. I don't know where her kids fall in financially with my friend. Would you do what he is doing. He moved into her house and helps with the bills. Yes, of course. If they were my children I would most assuredly take on that financial responsibility. I wouldn't hesitate to help out in that manner if I had a stable, four year relationship with a woman and didn't have biological children with her either. My hesitancy to helping out a woman financially mainly applies to the early stages of a relationship. I dated a woman for about a month who had two daughters and was hurting financially. She had a stable job and child support coming in but she was always strapped for cash as she spent money just as quickly as it came in. She was making car payments on a new, pricey SUV and was continually shopping and buying things she and her daughters didn't need. I saw her put many items on credit cards as well. I never commented on her spending habits (even when she complained about being broke) as that is her business but it was one of the reasons why I tapped out. I'm not a miser, but any stretch of the imagination, but a sense of financial security is important to me. As such, I won't put myself in a situation where I am financially intertwined with a person who doesn't manage their money well. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted July 30, 2017 Share Posted July 30, 2017 Yeah vices here are bad habits but anyway. l dunno , something like ,,, only one or no kids, hopefully everythings still working in nice condition and still all in the right places , oh yeah sanity would be a real bonus, young at heart , very good for her age,playful, fun creative talker, good heart, not strung out, a one in a million no straight out of the box for this fella,l like originals. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 But really , it's one thing to think of what you like but truth is ,you fall in love with who you fall in love with. You don't really get a say, you just will. And they could be nothing like what you think and they'll have faults too just like everyone, but you won't care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 And my absolute, will-not-budge one: -uses Oxford commas appropriately. If a guy does not use commas in text to me he is an automatic out. And yes he can be perfect but if his his first message is "hey [my name]" and not "hey, [my name]" It's over. I cannot do guys who do not do direct address commas. That's too picky. No kids would be one for me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 (edited) That's too picky. No kids would be one for me. Let's eat, TheTraveler. vs Let's eat TheTraveler. No picky. Commas save lives Yeah, I don't know what it is about it. That matters to me more than employment. My priorities are messed up I guess Edited August 3, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Not divorced or still involved with another/other women. Negative/cranky/jaded/bitter. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Let's eat, TheTraveler. vs Let's eat TheTraveler. No picky. Commas save lives Yeah, I don't know what it is about it. That matters to me more than employment. My priorities are messed up I guess I was referring to the first text. Not subsequent texts without using commas. That I could understand getting annoyed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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