Would you be turned off if a woman said to wear heels to be taller than her?

[GemmaUK]

She was messing around with ya. It was banter.

 

She did say that if you're her guy then height wouldn't matter.

 

If you meet up and let's say all else ticks boxes for her then it won't be your height that is a turn off it'll be your lack of confidence over your height.

Not only that but she will know you can't take banter or give it back so she'll realise you two are totally incompatible.

 

If you are this upset this early on just cancel meeting her.

It's sounding like you want to meet just to bawl her out at this point.

 

For the record some of the most attractive men I know are your height or shorter. One of the main reasons they are attractive is their self assuredness and confidence. I would absolutely date them if some lovely woman hadn't already snapped them up!

I know more tall men who are single than shorties who are single by a large margin.

[Popsicle]

Well, what if I ask her if she was joking yesterday about me wearing heels & she says no?

 

She won't. lol

 

She has not met you yet, so she's not in love with you yet, but she wants to see if there will be something there. She wants to give it a chance. The height thing came up and she made a bad joke, but you'll have to meet and see if there's something there to develop. A woman who really cares about height wouldn't even want to meet.

 

A story to share: one of my friends was just telling me about a date she went on with a short guy. She said he was short (she noted it) but he was good looking and had a great body and very nice. She wants to keep seeing him, even though she noted that he was short.

[thefooloftheyear]

Well, what if I ask her if she was joking yesterday about me wearing heels & she says no? From the conversations we've had the vast majority of the time she's joking she uses emoticons. That time it felt dead serious. I'm almost certain she wasn't joking.

 

 

Just forget it.....Any opportunity you had to handle it differently went right down the toilet..

 

If you want to do anything, then let it go, and if she comes back at you,you can revisit it then...But don't ask her what her motivation was,...Just project yourself as someone that isn't self conscious about his height...

 

TFY

[SammySammy]

She was messing around with ya. It was banter.

 

She did say that if you're her guy then height wouldn't matter.

 

If you meet up and let's say all else ticks boxes for her then it won't be your height that is a turn off it'll be your lack of confidence over your height.

Not only that but she will know you can't take banter or give it back so she'll realise you two are totally incompatible.

 

If you are this upset this early on just cancel meeting her.

It's sounding like you want to meet just to bawl her out at this point.

 

For the record some of the most attractive men I know are your height or shorter. One of the main reasons they are attractive is their self assuredness and confidence. I would absolutely date them if some lovely woman hadn't already snapped them up!

I know more tall men who are single than shorties who are single by a large margin.

 

Right.

 

His height is not an issue unless he makes it an issue by acting insecure.

[NJ123]

She was messing around with ya. It was banter.

 

She did say that if you're her guy then height wouldn't matter.

 

If you meet up and let's say all else ticks boxes for her then it won't be your height that is a turn off it'll be your lack of confidence over your height.

Not only that but she will know you can't take banter or give it back so she'll realise you two are totally incompatible.

 

If you are this upset this early on just cancel meeting her.

It's sounding like you want to meet just to bawl her out at this point.

 

For the record some of the most attractive men I know are your height or shorter. One of the main reasons they are attractive is their self assuredness and confidence. I would absolutely date them if some lovely woman hadn't already snapped them up!

I know more tall men who are single than shorties who are single by a large margin.

 

Really? I wouldn't meet someone just to act nasty to her. That's ridiculous. And I'm almost certain though she wasn't joking though. As I keep saying almost everytime she jokes she adds emoticons. I don't get how you think she's joking from that conversation I posted. I don't get where you think she's joking there.

[Popsicle]

Really? I wouldn't meet someone just to act nasty to her. That's ridiculous. And I'm almost certain though she wasn't joking though. As I keep saying almost everytime she jokes she adds emoticons. I don't get how you think she's joking from that conversation I posted. I don't get where you think she's joking there.

 

Because men don't wear heels?

[NJ123]

Because men don't wear heels?

 

There's shoe lifts, elevator shoes, & boots with heels that guys wear. The recommendation is for me not to say anything to her now. I'm almost certain though she was serious.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Really? I wouldn't meet someone just to act nasty to her. That's ridiculous. And I'm almost certain though she wasn't joking though. As I keep saying almost everytime she jokes she adds emoticons. I don't get how you think she's joking from that conversation I posted. I don't get where you think she's joking there.

 

she was being sarcastic about the fact that your height should even be an issue="joke," not a haha joke

 

before you meet her you need to obsess about something positive about your convo with her or your focus on this issue is going to take over your mind and affect your meeting with her...

 

just had a funny thought (DON'T do this, as if you would, this IS just a joke but would be so fun!).

 

to make yourself more comfortable meeting her why don't you get a height-exaggerated Elvis wig to wear to meet her! could add three to six inches to your height! lol, JUST kidding...but sure would be funny to do, though, actually...even if someone wasn't insecure about height...

 

can you imagine showing up in an Elvis wig for a first date? lol

[coolheadal]

I've been talking to this woman for past few days & the height thing finally came up with her asking how tall I am. We're the exact same height than she states she typically goes for guys 3 inches taller than me & taller. So than she stated if I wore 3 inch heels it would be perfect. I asked if it bothers her that I'm the same height & she said if I wind up being her guy it wouldn't matter. I just feel a bit degraded though for her stating that.

 

Wow! Listen if it bothers you that much then drop and run.. Otherwise show some confidence and self-esteem. Your gong to find all sorts of women who don't know what they want. You know how tall you are and even if you and her are the same height if she cares enough for it doesn't matter. She being a NAT! A pain-in-the-butt! Correct if not don't bother with her. You act like she's the only one out there!

[Popsicle]

There's shoe lifts, elevator shoes, & boots with heels that guys wear. The recommendation is for me not to say anything to her now. I'm almost certain though she was serious.

 

It is not typical and she wasn't serious.

[TheTraveler]

You haven't even met her and you're angry. And do not say you aren't because you are. Not good man.

 

I would think being a short man meeting women online can be tough. And plus you've dealt with this all your life.

 

The short men i've seen do well are built and life of the party types. That comment she made wouldn't have bothered me at all. But, I'm not 5'6"

 

I thought it was playful banter and fun

 

GL OP

[LivingWaterPlease]

can I not get a laugh out of anyone re: the elvis wig?

 

Arieswoman, where are you? know you'd at least chuckle!

 

op, my man, lighten up a little in prep for the date...try to have a little fun with it!

Edited June 24, 2017 by LivingWaterPlease

[NJ123]

she was being sarcastic about the fact that your height should even be an issue="joke," not a haha joke

 

before you meet her you need to obsess about something positive about your convo with her or your focus on this issue is going to take over your mind and affect your meeting with her...

 

just had a funny thought (DON'T do this, as if you would, this IS just a joke but would be so fun!).

 

to make yourself more comfortable meeting her why don't you get a height-exaggerated Elvis wig to wear to meet her! could add three to six inches to your height! lol, JUST kidding...but sure would be funny to do, though, actually...even if someone wasn't insecure about height...

 

can you imagine showing up in an Elvis wig for a first date? lol

 

As I said though she would usually use an emoticon or say lol j/k but she didn't with this particular conversation. Nothing at all about it says she was joking. It's a possibility she was testing me, but I'm almost sure of it that she was serious.

[GemmaUK]

As I said though she would usually use an emoticon or say lol j/k but she didn't with this particular conversation. Nothing at all about it says she was joking. It's a possibility she was testing me, but I'm almost sure of it that she was serious.

 

OK, so if you are pretty much convinced she was being serious then man up and make a decision not to meet her.

 

Then taking things forward direct your attentions to shorter ladies and then bear in mind that many women like to wear heels so factor that in.

Then also factor in that not every woman will find you attractive (for various reasons other than your height) and even some short women look for men taller than yourself.

 

You 100% already know you have an insecurity about your height so take some responsibility for that and take it upon yourself to minimise that as a problem.

[NJ123]

OK, so if you are pretty much convinced she was being serious then man up and make a decision not to meet her.

 

Then taking things forward direct your attentions to shorter ladies and then bear in mind that many women like to wear heels so factor that in.

Then also factor in that not every woman will find you attractive (for various reasons other than your height) and even some short women look for men taller than yourself.

 

You 100% already know you have an insecurity about your height so take some responsibility for that and take it upon yourself to minimise that as a problem.

 

I really don't know what approach I'm going to take yet about it. It's going to bother me not knowing what she really meant by it if it was a joke or not. It's like I just wish I could know. But people here say to just not say anything. And they assume she was joking when as I kept saying when she jokes she usually types lol or uses some sort of smiley emoticon.

[soyou]

If I were you, this is what I could do to turn back the subject but in a funny and nice way. By doing this, you're also able to see what she really meant;

 

Hey NAME, yesterday we're talking about how I would have to wear 3 inch heels ? to match up with you ;-). . I found this pair of heels and I think it will look awesome on me. (Find a very very crazy funny picture of man wearing high heels). Are you ready for a sexy me? ??????

 

 

Make it so funny that she could feel your confidence and humor.

 

If you just plainly ask her what she really meant, I'd bet that she would think that you're insecure, not fun, doesnt know how to handle "mean" jokes.

[starrynightz45]

I can't believe all these posts essentially telling you to man up and stop complaining! Being a man doesn't mean being a dumb emotionless rock! You can be a man while still having emotional capacity for gods sake! This event was offensive, and you have a right to be offended and even hurt.

 

I think what she said, whether jokingly or not, was really rude. If it's a joke, then at best she's an insensitive jerk. If it was serious, then she's still an insensitive jerk. While it's fine for her to prefer a certain height, you had it on your profile so she should have known. She's being an *******.

 

Personally, I wouldn't continue to date someone that made a joke or comment like this because either she's really just an insensitive person or it's genuinely not going to work because she wants someone taller. Either way, this is a waste of your time.

 

At the same time, I think going ghost is cowardly for both genders. Just say hey, you know what, I actually don't think we're looking for the same thing so I think we should probably stop seeing each other. End.

[Art_Critic]

Do you want it to backfire in my face or something? Like you think it's rude for me to confront her about it? For some reason from your wording I get that vibe for some reason.

 

Dude... you need some thicker skin and the ability to go with the flow in a joking manner.

 

If I was in your shoes ( no pun intended..lol) my response would have been... what color ? and can I wear them when I take you and tie you up...

 

I get that you are feeling like your height is an issue but she went out with you and told you it would be no big deal if your were her guy...

 

Drop this...

[xenagirl]

I would say please don't even bother. It is her problem not yours. I don't think you became shorter after you guys started seeing each other. . Let her deal with it.

[elaine567]

If I was a woman with small boobs and some guy made a comment about whether I had ever thought about wearing a a padded bra or getting a boob job, I would have to consider was it a simple question or designed to put me down and upset me.

If I thought he was being crass or deliberately trying to upset me I would bail. No questions need asked, end of conversation.

 

BUT the fact is that he knows my boobs are small, I know my boobs are small, so why should I really be offended? Yes I can whine and moan and get all huffy and upset at the mere mention of boobs, but that is really my problem, not anyone else's.

If I cannot afford implants then I need to deal with it, I am stuck with them. I may feel I have to resort to the padded bra solution, but that is my decision. Some men won't care either way.

 

YOU need to truly accept that you are short and putting your head in the sand and thinking no-one else will notice that you are short is being unrealistic.

 

Ditch this girl if you feel she was deliberately trying to upset you (I see no evidence of that by what you presented), or forget it completely.

Making a big deal of this is ridiculous. Dating is supposed to be fun.

Date her and make a genuine effort to enjoy it or dump her.

If you make a big deal of this, she will think you are mad and dump you.

 

YOU need to realise that even as a short guy some women will still want to speak to you, still want to date you, and still want to even marry you.

Your hang up, is your hang up and it is only other people's hang up if YOU make a big deal of it.

[5x5]

Seriously though? I'm supposed to just take it in stride & not let it make me feel like less of a person? I never heard of a woman asking a guy to wear elevator shoes before. It seems it's always the woman just not wearing heels. This height stuff seriously is bs.

 

You're not supposed to do anything, that said it would serve you well if you applied a sense of humour and didn't choose apoplexy.

 

I'm 5'3", yet that didn't stop me becoming an infantry platoon sergeant when I was 26 years old. Nor did it stop me having two marriages with women who are taller than me (my ex-wife is 5'6" and my wife is 5'7"). it also didn't stop me being in sexual relationships with many more women, who were mostly taller than me (with the tallest being circa 6'2").

 

Likewise all of the men my wife had been in relationships with before me, were 6' and taller. Yet she asked me out on a date, then offered me sex and subsequently asked me to marry her. That said she had and has no problem making comments about my height, just as I have no problem with those comments.

 

I also don't get all whiney and indignant about such comments, because I am not a sensitive petal, am confident and am sure of myself with women and men of any height in any environment. All of which has helped me to enjoy a rich and varied sex life with plenty of women through 28 years.

 

lol why in God's green Earth would I want to go out with a woman let alone have something serious with a woman that actually thinks of me like that? Yet I'm supposed to just forget about it & let it slide & think of just confidence over it? It makes absolutely no sense to me. As I stated I'm flat out asking her tomorrow why she said that to me & if her answer sucks than I'm done with her.

 

At the end of the day if you can't handle a bit of banter with some humour, your going to have a tough time dating.

 

Being overly sensitive, insufferably earnest and indignant will do you no favours. If you add being needy and whiny to all of that you will have the perfect storm of being the kind of man that most women quickly learn to avoid and or dump like the plague.

 

For your sake I hope you'll learn to get over yourself.

 

Good luck.

[GemmaUK]

At the end of the day if you can't handle a bit of banter with some humour, our going to have a tough time dating.

 

Great post by 5x5!

One thing though stands out...quoted above.

The above counts for every single person on the planet.

You know that, yes NJ? Do you?

[LivingWaterPlease]

 

 

At the end of the day if you can't handle a bit of banter with some humour, your going to have a tough time dating.

 

Being overly sensitive, insufferably earnest and indignant will do you no favours. If you add being needy and whiny to all of that you will have the perfect storm of being the kind of man that most women quickly learn to avoid and or dump like the plague.

For your sake I hope you'll learn to get over yourself.

 

Good luck.

 

^^^^^^^

This! No matter if you're 4 ft or 7 ft tall or anywhere in between!

[thefooloftheyear]

It is odd though that if a woman cracks on a guy for his height, he needs to get thicker skin and deal with it...Joke it off...Heck, I even advocated this earlier in the thread...

 

But if a guy cracks on a woman for being overweight, he is a complete insensitive douchebag

 

I mean, what would the replies be if he saw she was overweight and said, something like "I usually go for slimmer women, make sure you wear dark colors when we go out, as it tends to hide your rotund figure.."

 

He would have been excoriated...and no one would be telling her to "joke it off" or have thicker skin..

 

Nothing changes my feelings on it, just pointing out the inconsistency among genders...

 

TFY

[carhill]

If one wants to reproduce, gotta play the game. It isn't a math problem, more like art. Being sensitive only works, or is tolerated, if enough people will overlook it in their zeal to reproduce with you. Some men have that quality so can be sensitive. Think James Dean types. Most of us, nah, hide like a buffalo is required. For most guys that's not a problem; it gets beaten into them when young. Some of us miss the action or are, well, stubborn