Getting to the 1 and half year mark..

[Bliss25]

Hello All,

 

A few months ago I gave an update just over the 1 year mark.

 

I came on here today for the first time since to read a little bit and perhaps to see if others are experiencing what I am right now.

 

I have come to the realization that I need to get into a relationship again. I still believe my ex relationship was the only thing that kept me steady and stable and settled. Ever since I have been single a year and half ago, I have watched myself achieve great personal goals, yet also, to a certain extent become somebody that I am not sure I like.

 

I have been living so spontaneously its the best thing ever. I do what ever I like when I like. But with this came a lot of regrets. a lot of one night stands, becoming a little ruthless with myself. It almost feels like I have lost a little respect for myself. and I hate it..

 

This is why I still believe my ex brought out the best in me and kept me steady and on my feet.

 

I think I am ready to date again. the problem is that all the women I have met up until now, I have had no interest in. And this is what irritates me. I really wish for someone to come around that I will fall for.

 

Am I over my ex ? Not entirely but I am sure as hell come very far.

Do I still think of her ? yes!

 

Am I ready to date again ? Yes I think I finally am. and I think I need it.

[codest]

Am I over my ex ? Not entirely but I am sure as hell come very far.

Do I still think of her ? yes!

 

Am I ready to date again ? Yes I think I finally am. and I think I need it.

 

Forgive me for being frank, but you are obviously not over you ex yet, for from it. Otherwise you wouldn't be so desperate to get involved with someone else.

 

When you are finally over, you will no longer be thinking in such terms anymore. Things will start happening naturally for you, and you wouldn't be posting in this forum any longer.

Edited June 26, 2017 by codest

[GeekLover]

Hello All,

 

A few months ago I gave an update just over the 1 year mark.

 

I came on here today for the first time since to read a little bit and perhaps to see if others are experiencing what I am right now.

 

I have come to the realization that I need to get into a relationship again. I still believe my ex relationship was the only thing that kept me steady and stable and settled. Ever since I have been single a year and half ago, I have watched myself achieve great personal goals, yet also, to a certain extent become somebody that I am not sure I like.

 

I have been living so spontaneously its the best thing ever. I do what ever I like when I like. But with this came a lot of regrets. a lot of one night stands, becoming a little ruthless with myself. It almost feels like I have lost a little respect for myself. and I hate it..

 

This is why I still believe my ex brought out the best in me and kept me steady and on my feet.

 

I think I am ready to date again. the problem is that all the women I have met up until now, I have had no interest in. And this is what irritates me. I really wish for someone to come around that I will fall for.

 

Am I over my ex ? Not entirely but I am sure as hell come very far.

Do I still think of her ? yes!

 

Am I ready to date again ? Yes I think I finally am. and I think I need it.

 

 

The bolded part is what tells me NO. You are not over your ex yet and you are not ready to date yet.

 

I need to give you much credit for trying to figure yourself out and be on your own for awhile. I see so many people on here complain about their exes who are unable to do this. I truly believe it is SUCH an IMPORTANT step in recovering from the end of a serious relationship.

 

However, I don't believe you have mastered this step yet. You are probably feeling better, but the fact that you can admit that somebody else makes you a better person is CLEAR to me that you still have work to do on your own.

 

Honestly, is it really fair to make someone else bare the burden of making sure you feel like a good person and feel worthy? That just seems like a recipe for disaster in your next (forced?) relationship.

 

Please reconsider dating. There is NO SHAME with being single until you truly ARE ready to date.

 

I still don't think now is the time. Sorry.

[SevenCity]

I disagree 100% with the above. You are ready to date once she broke up with you.

 

If you lost your job would you wait to get another until you were completely indifferent? Just like your job gave you money, your ex gave you love and sex. In your world she is the only one who can give you those basic needs.

 

Fact is you will not be fully over her UNTIL you have another relationship. And you are way out of practice. You need to get out there and start making mistakes because one day that right girl is gonna come along and you want to be ready and not F it up.

 

Get out there young grasshopper and find yourself a gf.

[Bliss25]

Thanks for the replies.

 

I hear what all of you are saying. But I am not relying on anyone to make me feel good or better. What I am trying to say is that perhaps after a year and a half of single life it is time to get a bit settled again. Like I said, I am at a place where I am loving single life (where as in the beginning I was devastated thinking that I cant cope being single) .. But maybe the single life has become a bit reckless and I am doing more and more things that I regret doing.

 

Perhaps its just another phase I am going through. who knows.. the only frustrating thing about dating again is that I dont seem to get excited about any girl I meet.

 

Thanks again for listening! and yes it does get better with time. Like GeekLover says, it is vital that one must be important for a while - I have been preaching that for my whole life to people.

[codest]

Perhaps its just another phase I am going through. who knows.. the only frustrating thing about dating again is that I dont seem to get excited about any girl I meet.

 

This is a telltale sign that you have not yet fully recovered. You also mentioned that you are not happy with your own actions and may want to fix that by "moving on." A word of warning: have clear expectations about the fact that your next relationship could be just a rebound.