Bastile Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I've had some very nasty things said to me a few times over recent years from women. I've had very long messages which can only be described as a psychological attack. Hate is just love disguised by jealousy. I consider it love poetry. What people say and express always says more about them, than it does about you. It's completely foolish to get hung up on other people's projections. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chin Up Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 You may be right frosted, but no clue what triggered it. I decided to stop taking it to heart, because it was all grossly untrue and after more thought, he was clearly going after a couple insecurities, and weaknesses of mine. I think his goal was to rip me apart to make himself feel better and hopefully crumble my esteem so much I beg for him back. Nope, and it makes me that much more confident and happy to have ended things. Who needs someone like that?! Booooo. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I don't know what is worse - hurtful words or hurtful actions, or really both. I think hurtful actions still hurt more - because words are at the end of the day - only that, but if someone actually partakes in an action whether done by them or someone else on their behalf to directly hurt you - that's way more dirty in my mind. People can separate - that's the matter of life. But it's hard when they go to such extremes to make sure you feel the hurt. That's what is hard when someone who proclaimed to be with you forever and even made certain significant promises to be with you no matter what - now is deliberately doing things to hurt you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chin Up Posted July 4, 2017 Author Share Posted July 4, 2017 Had a nightmare about ex this morning In my dream a friend(never seen this person in my life, but in the dream she was my friend lol) and I are on a restaurant patio having lunch. A girl sits at the table beside us, alone, and we start chatting. She says she's waiting for her new guy, gushes on and on over wonderful he is, and my friend are "awww'ing" at how cute new love is. Waiter asks her if she'd like a wine menu, and she says no, her boyfriend doesn't drink and she has to work later. So friend and I resume chatting and I hear a familiar voice behind me and get that "oh god no, what's the closest thing I can dive under and hide?!" feeling cuz I recognize it's my ex. My friend silently mouths "it's (exes name)!!" and I panic cuz it's a horribly awkward situation. Luckily my back is to them so I do my best to remain "incognito" but I feel stuck there. I hear them being all lovey and kissy for a couple minutes and I feel like crap. Somehow their convo turns into him going on and on about how glad he is I ended things, otherwise he never would have met her. Ouch!!!, but fair enough. He boasts about how he's quit drinking/drugs, really got his crap together, all these wonderful things have happened to him, and it's all thanks to me ending it. He made it sound like I'd been holding him back and drove him to the bottle, even tho he had these probs long before I met him. Then he starts talking total shiz about me. Nothing but horrible lies and demonizing me. My friend is also listening and looking at me like "wtf, is this true?" and I'm wide eyed shaking my head no!!! My friend shakes her head at me looking all disgusted, stands up, drops her napkin and says "(my name), you're a really horrible person!" and starts to walk away. I burst into tears, whip around and shout at my ex (who, looks like an enhanced version of himself) "you lying a-hole! Why are you lying?!" At this point his new girl clues in who I am, and then all 3 three of them start ripping into me in front of the rest of the people on the patio, while I sit there crying. The waiter comes over and snottily asks me to leave and the other patrons are looking at me like I'm a walking pile of feces. I'm bawling at this point and for some reason I can't walk, so I'm crawling away and everyone whispering and staring at me. Then someone throws food at me. Then another, and another, and then I'm just laying there while people throw food at me, and I woke up. I woke up and stared at the ceiling for a minute, then started bawling cuz the feelings I had in my dream were still there and vivid and felt sick for a minute. So it's set the mood for my day and I feel really rotten. I know it was just a dream but it was so horrible it makes me want to get mad at my ex lol which I obv won't do, but holy crap that dream really shook me up. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 No one said it was going to be easy because break ups are hard regardless of who does the dumping. I think him going out and having sex with another woman while still there was somewhat telling. You should go NC and block him from contacting you so you don't have to wonder if he will ever call again. Just keep moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chin Up Posted July 4, 2017 Author Share Posted July 4, 2017 To be fair, I'm not entirely sure if he did sleep with someone, and I never asked, but it really did seem like that was the case. Doesn't matter either way, we broke up. He can sleep with a cheerleading squad if he wants lol. I've gone NC, have no desire to talk to him. Nothing to talk about. First month was hard cuz I missed him horribly and hoped he'd shape up and try to work on things, so there was light contact, but I'm over that. Hes already unfriended, blocked and deleted off my everything. I'm moving forward, full steam ahead! A few large things, and random out of the way things that I've found of his are packed up and ready to go. He's coming this Saturday to grab them and that's the last time we'll see/talk again. I won't deny I've been a little anxious over it. I'm literally dreading seeing him, it's going to be ultra uncomfortable lol and I'm probably going to scamper off to another room while he grabs his stuff, but it will be a load off cuz it bothers me seeing it and knowing he's coming for it. Almost out of the woods! Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Can't you just leave his stuff outside to collect or have a friend sit over while he is there collecting his stuff. You shouldn't have to subject yourself to a painful situation. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 People should have the guts to break up with someone themselves. Having someone else break up for them is cowardly. Having support is fine, but running away from something doesn't make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chin Up Posted July 6, 2017 Author Share Posted July 6, 2017 I already broke up with him lol, 2 months ago, face to face. He's coming for the last of his stuff this Saturday, and its going to be awkward, so ive got knots in my tummy about it. He's coming with a friend cuz there's a couple heavy things he can't move alone and I won't be much help due to their size. I'll just play it by ear based on how he's acting. If he's a jerk, I'll stay out of his way, he's nice, I'll help with some boxes. If he even shows up lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chin Up Posted July 6, 2017 Author Share Posted July 6, 2017 Aaaand I just broke NC I now his #, felt bothered by not knowing if he's grabbing it all at once, if this is going to be a solo trip and drag on, trip after trip. So I texted him asking if he planned on bringing help, or moving solo. Hit send, instantly regretted it and am upset and disappointed in myself. Ugh. I feel pathetic cuz I look pathetic. I really didn't need to ask him, I'd find out on Saturday when he/they show up. I think I made up an excuse to text him, even tho I don't miss. Wtf?! Link to post Share on other sites
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