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my sister and i were having a discussion, or more so a fight. She called me an uneducated bum, and my mood, thoughts changed. It brought me back to those feelings of my ex calling me dumb, wh*** c***. Ive been nc for awhile with him, and trying to improve myself. I just dont know why my sisters comment came back to that situation. I felt like crying, i feel low. I feel as tho maybe i am dumb, and im just in denial about it. i feel pretty worthless right now. Like a loser. my ex would call me a loser too. starting to think that maybe i am what people think i am. im not looking for cheer ups. i guess its to vent.

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  • 2 weeks later...
amaysngrace

Your ex sounds abusive and your sister sounds abusive too. It's a shame that you're letting people who feel badly enough about themselves to verbally assault someone they supposedly love (you!) have so much power over how you feel about yourself.

 

I think when she made those comments it triggered the same feelings you felt when he was extremely cruel towards you. I'd take that as a big red flag for both of them since now you know they're in the same category because they are similar in character, at least when it comes to how they treat others.

 

I'd try not to take it personally if I were you. Their comments say more about them than they do about you.

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Chardonnay Renée

Don't let the perception others have of you become your reality. Many people run others down to hide their own insecurities.

 

As much as it hurts when people are mean and abusive, you have to brush it aside and try to focus on your goals - becoming a better person yourself.

 

Look to minimise contact with people who are toxic. Trust me, I know how hard and impractical that can be at times, but sometimes it's the only way forward.

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Miss Clavel

uh, what you are is not very discerning about your companions. anyone that calls me names or lowers my esteem or makes me feel like ****, gets left in the dirt.

 

any time someone talks to you that way you should respond by saying, "wtf, how dare you"!!

 

lucky for them it's not me because i would follow up by saying as many mean things i could think of about them and their lives, as fast as i could spit them out.

 

and it's time to ask yourself, what do you feel "dum" about? (i think you do feel "dum" about some things or their accusations would not have "hit home" the way they do) life, politics, relationships, algebra?

 

the cure for that feeling is reading.

 

after you can pin point what it is that you feel you either don't know or don't understand or even what you would like to learn more about, including yourself, why you do things, feel things, take yourself over to the nearest library and go wild.

 

read. read. read.

 

all those lovely informative, healing, beautiful books are free.

 

good luck

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