Zanth Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hi everyone, I am new here but I'll try and make the story as short as I can without leaving too many details out. So I met this girl last December when I had just got off a 10 year weed addiction (which I am completely over now!) so I finally started to "feel"again instead of smoking away the feelings. This girl who is a single mother (38yrs) I met on Facebook and we had a few walks in nature together and she seemed really into me (although she told me she wasn't in love she send me all kinds of cards and facebook posts of quizzes telling her we were meant together and mary etc.). On the other hand she had a special bond as she put it with the brother of the guy she left... She just came out of a relationship with a guy (not the father) after 3 years and maybe saw in me a rebound... We truly had a great time but I kept saying I didn't want a relationship (I am a person who finds out how much I cared after the break up...stupid I know...) Anyway when we were together we had great sex but I got sick twice 24hrs after the sex (I am never sick!). One weekend she left for France to stay at a place where she lived when she was young and while I was sick in bed she met up with her childhood sweetheart...supposedly they never told each other but had been in love eversince they were young. When she came back she was quite different...everything on her facebook was dedicated to him and she cancelled dates with me etc...she did drop by a few times but it was all very platonic. One day I went fishing with her and her son and she told me she was going to drive 12 hours to stay with him for a week the next day. Already knowing it was over I wished her all the best and behaved for 6 weeks from when she went to France untill she decided to go back like a dumb ass friend zoned idiot. I realized when seeing her happy pictures with him on facebook that it was definitely over and I had to let her go...I send her a message explaining I wished her all the best but couldn't handle all the happy pictures of her and her new man (also because there are other bad things in my life at the moment like my father having only a few months to live, unemployment and more sh#t). I was kind to her but started the radio silence. I have seen her a few times since but we didn't meet.. It has been over a month now and I am hurting and not sure what to do... Forgetting her is not an option..moving on without her is....but what do I do if she contacts me saying everything is over in France and she wants to see me.. and what are the chances of childhood sweethearts having a long distance relationship without the possibility of going to live together in the near future have anyway? Just hope someone can share some light... I am working on myself, but haven't got many people to talk this through with... She certainly has a crush on me but is that all gone now she is madly in love? When I first saw her after the radio silence she saw me from afar and started to cry...the second time I saw her she literally started dancing in the street... What do I make of this... I initially just removed her from my facebook because I knew I wasn't strong enough to stay away of her page... after all the happy pics I blocked her... I have no acces to her and she can only see me through the youtube videos i sometimes make about cars. Should I block her there also...that would be mean I think...guess I am lost here... She is not a bad person...but neither am I and I just want to be happy again. Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hi everyone, I am new here but I'll try and make the story as short as I can without leaving too many details out. So I met this girl last December when I had just got off a 10 year weed addiction (which I am completely over now!) so I finally started to "feel"again instead of smoking away the feelings. This girl who is a single mother (38yrs) I met on Facebook and we had a few walks in nature together and she seemed really into me (although she told me she wasn't in love she send me all kinds of cards and facebook posts of quizzes telling her we were meant together and mary etc.). On the other hand she had a special bond as she put it with the brother of the guy she left... She just came out of a relationship with a guy (not the father) after 3 years and maybe saw in me a rebound... We truly had a great time but I kept saying I didn't want a relationship (I am a person who finds out how much I cared after the break up...stupid I know...) Anyway when we were together we had great sex but I got sick twice 24hrs after the sex (I am never sick!). One weekend she left for France to stay at a place where she lived when she was young and while I was sick in bed she met up with her childhood sweetheart...supposedly they never told each other but had been in love eversince they were young. When she came back she was quite different...everything on her facebook was dedicated to him and she cancelled dates with me etc...she did drop by a few times but it was all very platonic. One day I went fishing with her and her son and she told me she was going to drive 12 hours to stay with him for a week the next day. Already knowing it was over I wished her all the best and behaved for 6 weeks from when she went to France untill she decided to go back like a dumb ass friend zoned idiot. I realized when seeing her happy pictures with him on facebook that it was definitely over and I had to let her go...I send her a message explaining I wished her all the best but couldn't handle all the happy pictures of her and her new man (also because there are other bad things in my life at the moment like my father having only a few months to live, unemployment and more sh#t). I was kind to her but started the radio silence. I have seen her a few times since but we didn't meet.. It has been over a month now and I am hurting and not sure what to do... Forgetting her is not an option..moving on without her is....but what do I do if she contacts me saying everything is over in France and she wants to see me.. and what are the chances of childhood sweethearts having a long distance relationship without the possibility of going to live together in the near future have anyway? Just hope someone can share some light... I am working on myself, but haven't got many people to talk this through with... She certainly has a crush on me but is that all gone now she is madly in love? When I first saw her after the radio silence she saw me from afar and started to cry...the second time I saw her she literally started dancing in the street... What do I make of this... I initially just removed her from my facebook because I knew I wasn't strong enough to stay away of her page... after all the happy pics I blocked her... I have no acces to her and she can only see me through the youtube videos i sometimes make about cars. Should I block her there also...that would be mean I think...guess I am lost here... She is not a bad person...but neither am I and I just want to be happy again. Then move on. Once you move on, you will forget her. You are last in the list of guys she is interested in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zanth Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 Yes that is the best to do...I know I can...I also know it will be a very tough task to do at the moment, but I guess I have no choice. I have blocked all connections from phone to linkedin and youtube...everything. I should feel better because now I am forced to go forward... so why the hell do I keep thinking about how she will respond? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 You probably need to explain why you can't be watching her social media and trying to be just friends when you need to instead stop focusing on her and move on since she isn't all that interested. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Detaching yourself from someone doesn't happy overnight. It is a process that becomes easier with time. I am sorry it went the way it did. This kind of stuff happens. Try to avoid all connection with her, for your own sake. It's hard to avoid wondering about her reaction, but just remember that if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you now, not with her childhood sweetheart. It sounds hard but sometimes the facts help to make the decision to move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zanth Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Detaching yourself from someone doesn't happy overnight. It is a process that becomes easier with time. I am sorry it went the way it did. This kind of stuff happens. Try to avoid all connection with her, for your own sake. It's hard to avoid wondering about her reaction, but just remember that if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you now, not with her childhood sweetheart. It sounds hard but sometimes the facts help to make the decision to move on. Wow Spiderowl..that so powerfull... but just remember that if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you now, not with her childhood sweetheart. So simple but so true... I will just have to accept she will do anything to move up the ladder...in the end she will have less peace with her way of loving people than I will once having gone through this. Also I can't wait for the day I look back on this episode and shake my head with a grin on my face feeling ok and not making a thing out of it anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Wow Spiderowl..that so powerfull... but just remember that if she wanted to be with you, she would be with you now, not with her childhood sweetheart. So simple but so true... I will just have to accept she will do anything to move up the ladder...in the end she will have less peace with her way of loving people than I will once having gone through this. Also I can't wait for the day I look back on this episode and shake my head with a grin on my face feeling ok and not making a thing out of it anymore. You are hurting and that is difficult. Keep her blocked and in time you will move on and as you say, with a grin on your face and feeling ok. Be careful though to not wish her ill or harm. It isn't necessary to put someone down in order to come up. So often when a person is hurt or feeling rejected, bitterness becomes the way to 'heal.' It's too easy and it isn't true. She simply is not the right one for you, or you for her. That means the two of you would never have found joy together and everything is working for good....yours and hers. That is a gift. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zanth Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 You are hurting and that is difficult. Keep her blocked and in time you will move on and as you say, with a grin on your face and feeling ok. Be careful though to not wish her ill or harm. It isn't necessary to put someone down in order to come up. So often when a person is hurt or feeling rejected, bitterness becomes the way to 'heal.' It's too easy and it isn't true. She simply is not the right one for you, or you for her. That means the two of you would never have found joy together and everything is working for good....yours and hers. That is a gift. I agree Timshel, the last thing I wrote to her was that I had enjoyed the time with her, didn't blame her for the breakup and wished her all the best but had to let her go completely to be able to handle all the things going on in my life at the moment and her happy snapshots were not helping. The resentment and anger are there of course, but I know they are a projection of me and I haven't acted upon them because I know that along the way I will forgive her knowing it is best for both of us. Her life hasn't always been easy either, I guess we all get our share of sadness in time. I wish I was at a point already that I would sincerely wish her all the best and really mean whether I ever see her again or not....but I know I will someday. Cheers. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 You sound so gracious and kind despite feeling hurt by this girl. I am sure you will find someone worthy of your love when you are ready. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Grats on beating the weed addiction. A lot of cookoo people out there that smoke that stuff are "convinced" that it's not addictive. Then they go on to tell you about how natural it is 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zanth Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 Grats on beating the weed addiction. A lot of cookoo people out there that smoke that stuff are "convinced" that it's not addictive. Then they go on to tell you about how natural it is People fool themselves as they deny that modern weed is so potent that it can almost be considered a hard-drug. Richard Pryor said it beautifully... you start smoking pot and you open your eyes and you are 10 years older, and what have you done? Absolutely nothing than sitting on the couch. One at first doesn't get addicted to the weed but the situations one uses it in..i.e. if you go to the cinema stoned it will never be as good without it. Long term effects are insomnia (one smokes before bed and wakes up 7 hours later because the stuff has worn out...no deep sleep) and become agitated during the day wishing it was evening so one can "relax" again by smoking. Take it from an Amsterdam citizen... weed will take over one's life when used as an alternative to feel or relax. Recreational use is for the happy few and then it can be great...but man seems often created for addictions... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I agree with the above. Just to add, CBD can be a powerful healer for those who are suffering or hurting...... Good luck my friend!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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