BC1980 Posted June 30, 2017 Posted June 30, 2017 It sounds like you have a pattern of being infatuated from afar. I saw a book on Amazon by an author I like called "The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship." I've read some other books by this author that had great advice, so you might want to try this book. From what I could tell, it dealt with infatuations, crushes, unrequited love, and online romances. I do think moving is a drastic way to get over a guy if you think this might happen again. However, moving can work to get over a guy. When I was in college, I had an on again off again relationship with a guy that I just couldn't stay away from. I knew I had to break the cycle. Though I was accepted to graduate school at the same university where I did my undergrad, I ended up going to a college back home, in part, to get away from this guy. And it did work. But I think your problem sounds more deeply rooted than just trying to get over a guy. You mention you are not interested in dating or being in a relationship again, and I have to wonder if that is because it's safer to be in a "relationship" from afar. So moving might temporarily resolve your problems, but these same behaviors and patterns could emerge again.
Author Intrepidcaribou Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 It sounds like you have a pattern of being infatuated from afar. I saw a book on Amazon by an author I like called "The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship." I've read some other books by this author that had great advice, so you might want to try this book. From what I could tell, it dealt with infatuations, crushes, unrequited love, and online romances. I do think moving is a drastic way to get over a guy if you think this might happen again. However, moving can work to get over a guy. When I was in college, I had an on again off again relationship with a guy that I just couldn't stay away from. I knew I had to break the cycle. Though I was accepted to graduate school at the same university where I did my undergrad, I ended up going to a college back home, in part, to get away from this guy. And it did work. But I think your problem sounds more deeply rooted than just trying to get over a guy. You mention you are not interested in dating or being in a relationship again, and I have to wonder if that is because it's safer to be in a "relationship" from afar. So moving might temporarily resolve your problems, but these same behaviors and patterns could emerge again. I have to admit letting go of infatuation feels like a loss. Especially since I'm facing the prospect of years of celibacy before me. Even if I wanted to and even if there was anyone I was attracted to, I'm too old to start trying to find someone, especially since I have absolutely no relationship experience. I'm not the "virgin" type either: I'm the potty - mouthed, atheist, size 4, career girl who wears pencil skirts and high heels.
harrybrown Posted July 5, 2017 Posted July 5, 2017 Take the job. You are in love with someone you do not really know. Do not blow up your friendship with his wife to become his mistress. Run, take the job and save yourself so much heartache. You will find a wonderful adventure in your new location.
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