Author Knix Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 But it's not going to help her find a good man, it will just help her be chased by a lot of men and not the best kind of men. A few years ago I went from fat to super hot! I got tons of attention from men, that's how I met 200 men from online dating. Did it help me find a boyfriend? nope! still took me 3 years to find a bf. My friend on the other hand is chubby and BAM! found a bf right away. I am also reminded of a poster on here (Dis) who's young and absolutely gorgeous! and can't find a decent man to date. We are who we are, someone will come along and love it. About 68% of people is US are obese and I don't think they're all single. For every fat woman there is a fat man somewhere. What if a fat woman isn't attracted to a fat man? My friend likes skinny guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Knix Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 I have a feeling that women looking for relationships in general are more tolerant of "chubbier" men, especially if that guy has other attractive traits and attributes that make him a good "catch". Women tend to be good at identifying "fixer uppers" too. Fixer upper = Codependent I am not attracted to chubby guys at all and I find myself to be in pretty good shape. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 What if a fat woman isn't attracted to a fat man? My friend likes skinny guys. Then your friend is going to struggle. Same thing as men would if the situation was reversed. This is not all that uncommon, some people try to date "out of their league" so to speak and find themselves perpetually single because of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
henderson14 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Well there are also fat men who I'm sure will date fat women. And a lot of thinner men like big women also. You aren't going to be choosing from the best guys though. Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I find it has a lot to do with your confidence and how you carry yourself! Im athletic, a size 4, and I often won't get the same attention that my curvier friends get! They will dress nicely, smile...... It's all about being confident! Good luck my friend!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 What if a fat woman isn't attracted to a fat man? My friend likes skinny guys. Not to sound rude, but that is the kiss of death. That reeks of shallow and unrealistic expectations. Guys will pick up on that in a heartbeat... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Knix Posted June 30, 2017 Author Share Posted June 30, 2017 Then your friend is going to struggle. Same thing as men would if the situation was reversed. This is not all that uncommon, some people try to date "out of their league" so to speak and find themselves perpetually single because of it. So fat men can date thin women but big women can date thin men? Interesting... Is there anyone on here that is or knows a bigger girl that dates more shapely men? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Slim and fit is going to be more appealing when looking for a mate because that is how we are wired....we subconsciously want good genes. Slim/fit=healthy strong. I'm saying this for the majority but not everyone, of course taste will vary in between. On line dating is a digital meat market, no different in the old days when you had to go to the bar. Yes people can be superficial, it's a reality, and complaining about human nature is a waste of time. It is what it is. If you are an unhealthy over weight, then do something about it. Nothing says eating disorder/addiction or I hate myself, than an obese person. That is the message people see, and kills any chance they have at getting dates. Some say just owning it can work. If losing weight isn't the answer then dressing right, having the right attitude and being confident will get you noticed in a positive manner. I know obese women, and they don't have their **** together, they complain they can't find a man, and I know it's not because of the way they look. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some larger people have no problem dating or having long-term relationships. There's a whole subculture that encourages women to be "thick". Many who are more than "thick" have embraced this attention and have no problem attracting men. This is another case of "you have to like the ones that like you". Be with the people who are attracted to you and forget the rest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitchen Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Is it really a CON? You liked her enough to have a long distance relationship with her, right? So because she has thicker hips you're disgusted? That sounds really shallow... I think the bottom line is that women are going to post nice pictures of themselves, right? I think there's something really unfair about your statement. Women get BERATED on a daily for their looks (it doesn't matter what they look like). I started this thread because a girlfriend of mine posted a FULL BODY photo on a BBW DATING SITE, that's right, a dating site for people that are interested in BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. That's when someone wrote "You are so ugly and fat". It seems like there is nowhere safe and I feel very sorry for her, especially because she's gorgeous and has an amazing life. I understand that attraction is attraction, but you have to have SOME awareness that a girl is thicker/curvier/fatter even with no full body pictures. If you are really that surprised when a girl is big on a date, you need to study women better. I am also curious if there are any men out there that prefer bigger women, and if they've had the opposite experience where a guy thinks he's going on a date with a thick girl but shes actually a twig? It wasn't a relationship but could have turned into one eventually. Meaning it was just the beginning and therefore yes looks and attraction mattered. If that's shallow than everyone is shallow because I haven't come across one person who doesn't focus on the pictures more than the description in OLD. The con was that she purposefully hid it, like many fat people do, that's what disgusted me more so than the thickness. It's taught me to avoid everyone unless I see a full body pic. For instance a tell tale sign of a fat person is those who put up only face pics. Also like others have pointed out, I was far more repelled by her lack of confidence than by her weight. Had she carried it with grace (and put up full body shots), I'd perhaps have been able to look past it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tetrahedral Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 No. There's similarly sized men everywhere. Just take a walk down a crowded street and count them. I've seen weight hold people back indirectly, in the form of self-esteem issues. But I'm not convinced you can be "too fat to date" at all. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Is it really a CON? You liked her enough to have a long distance relationship with her, right? So because she has thicker hips you're disgusted? That sounds really shallow... I think the bottom line is that women are going to post nice pictures of themselves, right? I think there's something really unfair about your statement. Women get BERATED on a daily for their looks (it doesn't matter what they look like). I started this thread because a girlfriend of mine posted a FULL BODY photo on a BBW DATING SITE, that's right, a dating site for people that are interested in BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. That's when someone wrote "You are so ugly and fat". It seems like there is nowhere safe and I feel very sorry for her, especially because she's gorgeous and has an amazing life. I understand that attraction is attraction, but you have to have SOME awareness that a girl is thicker/curvier/fatter even with no full body pictures. If you are really that surprised when a girl is big on a date, you need to study women better. I am also curious if there are any men out there that prefer bigger women, and if they've had the opposite experience where a guy thinks he's going on a date with a thick girl but shes actually a twig? If you are posting older pics or pics that misrepresent what you look like with intention than it is a con. You can call it shallow but that's the way people are (women are no exception). Say she didn't have legs at all - should he be ok with that because he liked her personality? Women are experts at hiding extra weight in their pics. I've done some internet searching and now know what to look for. Be it hiding behind a tree, crouching over so you just see their legs, or holding a kid / dog in front of their torso. It's all a deception and it's not doing anyone any favors. The guy will feel lied to and the girl will feel upset once she sees the look of disappointment on his face. Post honest pictures and you will get people who like you for you. Be dishonest / hide your body and you will be disappointed. I happen to like very thin girls (which are rare online) and that doesn't make me any more wrong than a guy who prefers BBW size women. I'm sure a guy who liked big girls would be upset if a girl who portrayed herself as big online was actually thin in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 It wasn't a relationship but could have turned into one eventually. Meaning it was just the beginning and therefore yes looks and attraction mattered. If that's shallow than everyone is shallow because I haven't come across one person who doesn't focus on the pictures more than the description in OLD. The con was that she purposefully hid it, like many fat people do, that's what disgusted me more so than the thickness. It's taught me to avoid everyone unless I see a full body pic. For instance a tell tale sign of a fat person is those who put up only face pics. Also like others have pointed out, I was far more repelled by her lack of confidence than by her weight. Had she carried it with grace (and put up full body shots), I'd perhaps have been able to look past it. After a few women showed up with additional pounds over their pics, I have adopted the same rules as you. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 It wasn't a relationship but could have turned into one eventually. Meaning it was just the beginning and therefore yes looks and attraction mattered. If that's shallow than everyone is shallow because I haven't come across one person who doesn't focus on the pictures more than the description in OLD. The con was that she purposefully hid it, like many fat people do, that's what disgusted me more so than the thickness. It's taught me to avoid everyone unless I see a full body pic. For instance a tell tale sign of a fat person is those who put up only face pics. Also like others have pointed out, I was far more repelled by her lack of confidence than by her weight. Had she carried it with grace (and put up full body shots), I'd perhaps have been able to look past it. Truth. OP, I don't think you are grasping just how much a male mind is attracted to confidence. Don't confuse it with arrogance though. Most males grow up with the most confident woman on earth within earshot; his mother. Kitchen is spot on in his explanation and reasoning. Hiding and/or trying to deceive right out of the chute throws major red flags at a guy. Not because of anything sinister, but because she is not confident on who she is as a person. Kitchen is not being shallow. On the contrary, his subconscious (and all males have the ability) is seeing what is below the surface... Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I'm sorry but you ask what would work and I told you. Put real pictures of you and yo can view men's profiles but don't message them first. Be confident on the actual dates. This is what will work. But if your friend wants to date men who don't like her than no, it'll not work. I'm not skinny myself , not obese but in the ovetweight category at a size 12 US and I was too fat for some guys . I followed those rules and I'm getting married in 3 weeks after dating online . And my future husband is not thin. He's attractive to me but I didn't go for the fit gym rats. They wouldn't be a match for me and for how long can one look at a 6 pack anyway ? There are more important things in life . Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) Sorry I missed this. I'll queue it for a complete review. I believe we already had a report on the thread for other issues. After taking a look at things, and to be honest I was concerned about this thread from the outset, and reflecting that two members, including the thread starter, are now banned for other issues, I'm going to leave this closed. Members are certainly free to start threads about their real life dating situations where weight may be a factor in those situations or relationships. Thanks! Edited July 1, 2017 by William Reviewed thread.. Link to post Share on other sites
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