Livvie Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I'm so anxious and confused. I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I have been married for 4 years. We have a two year old daughter. We got married quite young ( 22 and 23) and after the first 6 months to a year, everything went downhill. He's cheated with anything that walks, from prostitutites to his former customers. He's a veteran and has been diagnosed with anxiety and non combat ptsd. So I guess I've always been somewhat tolerant because I've always had that in the back of my head. Aside from cheating, he's terrible with money and spends hundreds on dollars a week on all sorts of nonsense. I feel like we can never get ahead because he spends all the money. Just two months ago, he spent his entire VA benefits check at a strip club, leaving me to pay for all the bills except rent. He doesn't not work but gets a disability check from the VA once a month. When I try to talk to him about issues that we have like him spending all the money, he says I'm bitching at him. Which I'm not, I talk to him in my normal tone of voice and speak very kindly. It's like I can't say anything to him. I can't talk to him. When I do talk to him he gets upset and says he thinks he's better off by himself and maybe he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He said I treat him like a child because I track our finances. How is that treating him like a child? He swipes the debit card and doesn't look at the account until the card declines! We separated for about two months last year and he wasn't paying any bills. His car got repossessed and electricity for cut off. All this happened while we were separated. I'm just so confused and tired. I just feel that if someone loves you, they want to communicate with you and help you. He says he's tired of talking and always makes it seem like I'm the bad guy. He also says he doesn't want me to work anymore and wants me to stay home because I don't pay any attention to him. I tried to explain to him that with his spending habits, I need to work. He complains about a messy house and no homemade meals even though he's unemployed and I'm out at work all day. He doesn't help me with anything in the house and expects me to do everything. I'm just so tired... I kinda feel like too much has happened... Sorry for the long winded paragraphs :-( Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Bottom line... Get out now... 6 Link to post Share on other sites
pheonixrisen Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 To leave is a choice you need to come at . I understand the term ptsd but when does that make it okay to cheat repeatedly .And with prostitutes ...what would he be bringing home to you ...you have a child you need to put yourself and your child first . If you are doing everything paying the bills / taking care of your child what exactly do you need him around for ? What is he bringing to the table besides cheating and prostitutes and how you are spoiling his fun . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 My spouse is also a vet, and has had issues with ptsd. I know it's hard to hear, and even harder to accept, but you can;t help him unless he wants to help himself, and to do this, he would have to admit he has a problem. Even though you may love him to death, that doesn't mean you should be together. In all honesty, I feel like you are at risk for abuse. I am not saying he's going to hit you, but that he could very well do you some pretty serious psychological damage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Not sure why you stay in such an unhappy and unhealthy marriage... Surely, you don't want your daughter to be raised in a home where the husband cheats and puts your health at risk with his promiscuous behavior, does not show respect or appreciation for his wife and the mother of his child, and puts your families security at risk with his financial irresponsibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 He doesn't seem like he wants to change. Find out if you can get any family counseling from the VA. Don't put up with this much longer. This man will bleed your soul dry. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ahurtgirl Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Why are you wasting your youth on someone who cheats on you? Do you feel you are not good enough to attract a better person who would respect you? Your current husband does not respect or love you based on his actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 Whose permission do you need to leave? No ones, only your own. Take your precious daughter and go be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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