Unsure if S/O is cheating, but too far to check.

[ryan9801]

My s/o and I have been seeing each other for nearly 9 months, we go to the same university but as it is the summer we have gone home to families. Recently however, since she has been going out to town with her friend (also woman) she has been very distant with me, not talking for hours at a time, too busy to call me and never texts. I've tried asking her politely what was wrong or if I had done anything that upset her making her this way but she says nothing is wrong but she has been 'busy' with things. Last night she went out with her friend to an underground club where there would be 'no signal'. So I accepted that I wouldn't get a message till she got out and could read the text I sent. At about 5 o'clock in the morning I see a snapchat story of her with another guy in a taxi with there heads together with their tongues out, (what my s/o and I used to do when we were first seeing each other). My stomach is telling me not to trust her and that she has been cheating but I have no proof and no way of finding out the truth until I next see her but that's 2 weeks away and a holiday abroad. I don't want to assume the worst but my gut is telling me one thing, she is telling me another and my close friends are saying give her a chance in case she is telling the truth. If she is though why would she be so distant and uncaring about us? Please let me know what anyone thinks, sorry if I sound a bit paranoid, she is my first proper girlfriend that I have a connection with and a sexual relationship. If you need anymore information let me know because I need it. Thank you

[Michelle ma Belle]

How long have you been home and separated now? And how old are both?

[d0nnivain]

Go with your gut but take some small comfort in knowing that she's sending you the snap chat. I think she is flirting but doesn't quite realize that her "innocent" behavior with this guy is like the early stages of her flirtation with you. I see immaturity / youth not malice but it's a slippery slope.

 

Is there any way you can get together at some point over the summer to talk / visit? You can address these issues then.

 

 

If you can't meet in person, can you video chat? When you can see her face tell her that her behavior in the taxi hurt your feelings. Admit you're jealous that he was there with her while you are far away. Yes, I want you to be vulnerable. She may have not crossed any lines but she does need to know how her actions made you feel. Don't accuse. Don't scream. Just talk.

[preraph]

Why don't you just end the "exclusive" relationship until you're back in the same place. Because neither of you knows what the other is doing. And you don't trust her, so....Keep contact but just stop worrying about it until she's back or you're with her. One thing this will accomplish is if you give her freedom now and she comes back when you're in the same town, you will pretty much know she isn't likely to cheat as long as your relationship remains healthy.

[Joga_31]

Hey homie, you must be stressed out. As being someone that is in love with their girlfriend. It would bother me too, her behaviour. But your friend is right give her somewhat of a chance.

 

Do not get angry at her, play cool. Then talk to her and let her know you really miss her and if there is anyway she can skype and if not then just let her know your feelings.

 

After this conversation you will need to focus on your own things and let her contact you. If she doesn't it may be a bad sign, also ask her when you telling her your feelings, if she needs anything out of you or if there is a way that you two can be more connected.

 

Because you feel that the connection between you two is not the same. But after this conversation you will need to just let her be.

 

Sometimes letting the s/o go to the club or the party or these things that make us guys get insecure, ends up being a good thing because the woman we are with will realize how much of a loser these club guys are. (most of them, not all)

 

If she by the slim chance ends up liking that type of guy, she will be disappointed later on and will regret having left you. These super party guys, don't stay committed very long and usually the girls that respect themselves hate guys that don't take them seriously.

 

Let me know how it goes.

[Lazy Fox]

In a long distance relationship (what you're currently in, i suppose), there needs to be very clear boundaries as there will always be a minor trust issue. It's a lot easier to cheat when the person isn't in front of you to make you feel guilty, and it's a lot easier to hide things over the internet compared to living together, for example.

Explain to her how it made you feel and based on her response, you will know if she's serious about you both or if it's just a fling.

[lolablue17]

You wonder about think you don't know about. Let's focus on the things you do know about.

 

She claims she's busy, that's why she keeps only low contact. She knows you miss her, and want more communication, and she also knows that you're a little bit insecure about it.

 

Yet, she's uploading a mutual photo with a guy, doing something you did with her. It doesn't say she's cheating for sure, it proves 100% that you mean nothing to her. She doesn't care about you, or your feelings. She should have known that this photo might hurt you, but she doesn't put you in her equation.

 

Isn't that enough for you? In my eyes, the question whether she's cheating or not, is definitely a spicy news, but it's not important as the treatment you get, a bad not loving treatment. It is your decision, if you wish to stay under these conditions. I wouldn't.