My wife wants sex everyday

[BaileyB]

No it's not.

I know if I was to cut out porn completely then it would solve all of our issues. I think that's what hurts her the most.

But, I will hold resentment.

Why should I quit It? She's not going to quit because she's always horny. It's a double standard.

 

Sometimes, you do things in a relationship because you want a harmonious marriage and you don't want to hurt your partner - talking about ex's being one thing that people often do not do because their partner finds it hurtful.

 

I'm not saying that you should change who you are and give up something that you feel strongly about. I'm just saying, this may or may not want to be a battle you want to pick... Of course, you have the right to watch porn anytime you want. But do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

No it's not.

I know if I was to cut out porn completely then it would solve all of our issues. I think that's what hurts her the most.

But, I will hold resentment.

Why should I quit It? She's not going to quit because she's always horny. It's a double standard.

 

This is a ridiculous argument.

 

Frankly, both of you should cut out porn. For you, it's replacing sex. For her, it might be making her want it more than what you can keep up with.

 

If you know that cutting out porn will solve the problem, cut out the porn! This is not rocket science! Agree to watch it once a month together!

[healing light]

I just got caught up with the responses on this thread.

 

I do agree that there's nothing wrong with occasional masturbation/private time if it's not substituting for intercourse. I don't think it's reasonable that she gets to watch porn all the time and you can't occasionally. Is there a way you can incorporate this into your routine together?

 

I think IndigoNight's response is great. Is there something you can do on the off days with her (like a toy) where she can get hers and you can get a break?

[JHandy]

WTF?

 

You have a Dream wife and you're complaining?

 

You don't need porn man! Your wife will likely do anything you'll ever want to do with a woman.

[JHandy]

I just got caught up with the responses on this thread.

 

I do agree that there's nothing wrong with occasional masturbation/private time if it's not substituting for intercourse. I don't think it's reasonable that she gets to watch porn all the time and you can't occasionally. Is there a way you can incorporate this into your routine together?

 

I think IndigoNight's response is great. Is there something you can do on the off days with her (like a toy) where she can get hers and you can get a break?

 

Shared porn is fun.

[GuitarMan88]

How long have you been together? How old are the two of you? I'm guessing 28/29 by your user name, but it would make sense if you were older and she is hitting her prime.

 

Are you turned off because you feel like it's an obligation and the pressure from her makes you not want to do it? Because you feel like it's not your choice?

 

What was your sex life like when you were just dating? Was hers always higher than yours like this?

 

It may be that you don't have compatible sex drives and will have to compromise at every other day--but then be prepared to have a conversation about why you're up for porn and not her in the interim. Try to realize how confusing it is to her when you say you only have the drive for sex every other day (not unreasonable) but then masturbate to porn when she's still hot and heavy. What makes you turn to porn when that's the case? Is it easier? I can also see where partners prefer the ease and convenience of masturbation to sex occasionally, so if it's once a week when she's not around before work that doesn't sound excessive to me.

 

I studied Chinese medicine and there are a lot of factors that can make someone crave excessive sex (which are treatable, so if she has other signs like difficulty sleeping, hot flashes, etc. and an excessive sex drive, it may not be a bad idea to look into acupuncture to help balance her hormones). I know this will sound like a bunch of crap to most people, but from a Chinese medical point of view, sex is more depleting for a man than a woman, generally speaking. So I can see where he may not want to get her started if she's expecting to have marathons all night long on the days off. You need to be prepared to explain this to her and how you don't have the energy to keep going; and perhaps consider being willing to have sex with her when you would otherwise masturbate to porn in exchange for not being expected to go again and again.

 

I am 28 and she is 24. Sex while we were dating was good. I kept up with her and I thought I could continue it. But, after 4 or 5 months I realized that I couldn't.

She says she has always had a high sex drive and from her younger years she has had 80 to 100 sexual partners.

We've been together for 4 years, married for 2 years.

And yes, that's the main reason...the obligation..the pressure I feel.

She's always there..always available.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

WTF?

 

You have a Dream wife and you're complaining?

 

You don't need porn man! Your wife will likely do anything you'll ever want to do with a woman.

 

With all due respect, this does not help a man who has a lower sex drive than his wife even though it might not be "the norm" for a man.

[GuitarMan88]

I just got caught up with the responses on this thread.

 

I do agree that there's nothing wrong with occasional masturbation/private time if it's not substituting for intercourse. I don't think it's reasonable that she gets to watch porn all the time and you can't occasionally. Is there a way you can incorporate this into your routine together?

 

I think IndigoNight's response is great. Is there something you can do on the off days with her (like a toy) where she can get hers and you can get a break?

 

Yeah, she asked if I could start using a strap on so she could still feel like she was having sex with me.

It just makes me feel like less of a man because I can't physically do it.