charlesmoo Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Hi all, I have a bit of self-esteem issues and can't get over this woman lately who I thought was interested in me, but turns out she is not interested in a relationship at all (prefers more "country" styled looks) and considers attraction a big thing. I've never been one that is super outgoing (alpha male) and have never asked out too many women in my lifetime. Mostly fear of rejection. But this latest problem has really gotten me doubting my looks, and i'm not sure how to know if I am terrible looking or not. If I could get my mind off of her this wouldn't be such an issue. But I can't seem to shake it and am not sure if I need more time? I won't get into the long details but i've severed ties on social media, deleted her texts in my phone, etc. Trying to erase thoughts almost. I run into her a few times a week and we barely acknowledge each other (again long story). I just want to move on and am finding it really hard to do since I really thought we had something. And no the self-doubt has set in. Anyway just curious what others might have for advice. I'm trying to look for new hobbies, exercise more, but am almost in a depressed mode where I don't want to do anything. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Your comment about your looks stood out to me - what is it about this situation that has you questioning your appearance? As far as what you can do to get her off your mind, I would also suggest joining some community or activity-oriented groups. Meeting new people can be a great distraction and change your perspective. You might just meet a like-minded woman among them too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlesmoo Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 Your comment about your looks stood out to me - what is it about this situation that has you questioning your appearance? As far as what you can do to get her off your mind, I would also suggest joining some community or activity-oriented groups. Meeting new people can be a great distraction and change your perspective. You might just meet a like-minded woman among them too. Thanks - it's more or less because she did mention that she doesn't have an attraction to me. It kind of surprised me. I certainly don't think I am a 10 (more like a 6), but it made me feel hideous and question my looks because she prefers a "country" look. She did say she thought I was nice, and good looking but not attractive to her. I believe she put the good looking thing in there just to be nice. Anyway - lately it's just been reflection of not having many women approach me in my lifetime. I used to think maybe I was unlucky, but now am thinking I just don't have the looks to get women with first impressions. I even went so far as to post my pic on a site and ask for opinions. And they weren't good. So needless to say confidence is a bit shot, self-esteem low, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author charlesmoo Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 (edited) Hi all, [] Going into the full details would take too long but I became very interested in a woman and I thought there was mutual interest. Again I won't go through the whole thing but in the end one of the things that ended up bothering me the most was when she said she was not attracted to me. I could have sworn she was. But I guess she looks for a different type of guy normally (more country style). Despite all the nice things I did for her, how much I tried to talk to her (in hindsight I was doing most of the conversation starting) it was quite a shot to the stomach. I used to walk around with a bit of confidence thinking people considered me good looking but now I really doubt that. I also for whatever reason get jealous thinking of the types of guys she'd be interested in, ones she used to be with, etc. Anyway - so I just don't know how to get past this. I've gotten past other relationships by believing it was their loss. This time I can't do that. I've stopped communicating with her (deleted texts, fb, etc) and for a while felt fine, but lately she keeps coming up in my brain. Almost like I want to know what she is up to but know that would be no help whatsoever. Just curious if anyone has any thoughts for getting over these feelings. Thanks. Edited July 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Topical content ~6 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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