Am I destined to be single forever and ever?

[JayScott9]

Hi all,

 

So I recently got out of a bad break up. It's in another thread on here. Long story short I waited 5 years for this one girl to be single. We went on 5 dates within the last 2 months, she claimed we were a couple, she said I love you and the whole 9 yards. I was very generous with taking her out to all her favorite places and always keeping her on her feet with surprises only to be let down and told that she needed "time" but turned out it was just one big lie to get rid of me to be with another guy.

 

I'm here now wanting to start fresh and move my past behind me. I want to give you all my background as I think it's important.

 

So i'm 27 years old, I have a great job making a pretty good living. I've only had TWO relationships in my entire life. The first one was my first ex who cheated on me with another guy, the second if you even want to call her an ex is the story I mentioned above (so not a lot of experience) I'm not getting any younger and I'm sure I'm much younger compared to many that I see on this website but dammit I want to be in love and I want to be loved by someone.

 

I currently am on 4 different dating apps (POF, OKC, Tinder, Bumble) but I still have yet to find anyone that is committed or that will even open my message at the least.

 

I want to get married, I want to have kids, I want to have a future with the love of my life but I feel like my love life is hopeless. I have had such bad luck over the years with women. I might be wrong, but I have such a difficult time trusting females as my situations have always ended in heartbreak and reasons to not trust them. I know that not every female is the same but it makes it hard when the ones that I've reached out to just aren't interested or just go ghost on me.

 

You should know dating is difficult for me not only because well it's dating but because I have a learning disability, and social pragmatic disorder which makes it hard to communicate, build relationships, keep relationships, and I assume now to find women and not fear some kind of rejection.

 

I am the type of person that works Monday-Friday. I wake up at 6:00am and I'm leaving the office at 6:00pm so me going out is hard due to time issues and me flat out being exhausted from the hour drive I have to make 5 days a week. In addition I am completely sober from cannabis at this time and I don't drink alcohol at all.

 

I guess what are my options? How can I find the person that has been searching for me her entire life? I know she is out there I just don't know where and how to find her because I feel like I've looked for so long but haven't been successful.

 

I appreciate you all taking the time to read my rant and I'm happy to answer any questions to assist me in my dating journey.

[d0nnivain]

Finding somebody to love is tough for everybody.

 

Get some kind of professional help if you have social issues that make it tougher for you.

 

Get involved in things that interest you. Go to industry events to see who else is around. Join a co-ed sports team. Volunteer somewhere doing something you are passionate about. Attend events like hikes sponsored by local meet up groups on the weekend.

 

Consider using a dating service called It's Just Lunch if it's in your area. They fix you up for lunch but it's a self limiting amount of time you have to spend.

[preraph]

As far as your work schedule, it's pretty normal and it shouldn't stop you. And I assume you are already in therapy because you described your social disorder, and that's the thing that's mainly throwing you off (assuming you are tryiing to date within your own attraction range). You should never wait 5 years for someone. If they were into you, they would have already been with you and not that other boyfriend. It's a waste of time and focus. And it's your social problem that is making you more comfortable doing that (waiting for a known entity) than moving forward socially.

 

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you need to force yourself to be social and active and you need to keep taking on new activities and following interests and keeping up with current events to make yourself interesting and, well, relevant. The broader your scope of interests, the more people you will meet and have something in common with.

 

Good luck.

[Hopeful30]

You know, I'm not sure how the Universe works on this one. In my younger years, I never wanted committed relationships or to settle down. Never wanted kids. But all I would attract are men who wanted serious relationships, to settle down and have kids! I was upset at the Universe, because it was sending me what I didn't want!

 

Now that I'm a bit older, I'm more open to having a serious, committed and intimate relationship. But now that my desires have changed, I'm attracting men who are absolutely NOT the person for that. What's going on? Isn't the Universe supposed to support you??

 

Now onto you. First of all, just because you had two relationships doesn't mean you have *little* experience. I know 30-year-old men who've been with more women than you can count, and they have the relationship mentality of a 5 year old. I've dated some men who did things that I thought they were joking... but turns out they don't even know what I relationship is or feels like, yet they've had almost every woman in town!

 

I think being in relationships gives you more experience than anything else. It's when things get serious and feelings get involved that you learn the most. I don't know what advice to give you because I'm in the same boat. I don't want kids or marriage, but I'm definitely more open to the idea. I'm also beginning to understand that I want something serious. It's more fun and enjoyable for me, when I can fully trust and rely on someone. I love that!

 

I guess the only thing I can say is that you're not alone in this. So many people are in the same boat. I'm quite spiritual, and I believe that all of us have very individual journeys that sometimes don't include finding a soulmate or a life partner. That doesn't make our lives any less valuable or full of lessons though.

 

Continue to work on yourself and expand your consciousness. Things will only get better from there. I promise