elaine567 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 It makes it so hard bc we rarely fuss. From the outside looking in, we have a great life. Even he thinks it's great. I'm in such turmoil. Ok I know you want to go off and find the "perfect" husband and you are sick to the back teeth of this one and you want to be free, but have you really thought through what being divorced truly means. What it will mean for you, your husband and your son. Try to concentrate on the practicalities and leave the emotion out of it. Where will you stay? How will you support yourself? What will you do if your son blames you and goes and lives with his father? What if you husband never wants to talk to you ever again? 26 years married is a very long time. I am not saying you need to stay, but when your married life is not full of abuse and hate, then you need to seriously take stock. It is not all rainbows and unicorns out there. "perfect" men are difficult to find, especially when you are older and have baggage and "expectations". Be careful what you wish for. (It is OK to go "I don't need his money, I will manage fine", but do a realistic budget assessment, account for every penny and see where that really takes you.) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs. Miserable Posted July 8, 2017 Author Share Posted July 8, 2017 I will keep the house as we live on my family property and next door to my dad. I have a great job, so that's not an issue. I will be fine financially. My only hold up Is hurting him. It's like this.... do I hurt him or do I stay miserable for the rest of my life by settling. I have so many hobbies and am full of life. We share no hobbies or interests. Geez. I sound like a broken record. Link to post Share on other sites
Wookin Pa Nub Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I will keep the house as we live on my family property and next door to my dad. I have a great job, so that's not an issue. I will be fine financially. My only hold up Is hurting him. It's like this.... do I hurt him or do I stay miserable for the rest of my life by settling. I have so many hobbies and am full of life. We share no hobbies or interests. Geez. I sound like a broken record. The biggest step IMO is you have mentioned divorce to him in the past so he won't be blindsided. That was my mistake. I hid everything inside and it just built up. A horrible year of marriage and I reached out to ex gf. She was going thru same thing, horrible marriage. My AP said she was physically sick to ask her H for divorce but got the courage. He asked her what's wrong and she took him out to garage (they have teens at home) and she asked. He is laid back guy and just talked thru things. She stayed in house for about 5 months after asking. They were sleeping on different floors anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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