What do I do?

[jl27]

Long story short. I had been hanging out with this guy for almost a year, we weren't dating, but everyone around us knew what was going on between us. I will admit, majority of the time I wasn't the nicest person to him. Even though he would hound me down about specific guys liking/commenting on my photos or thinking that I was into some other guy, or how many phone numbers I got from guys on the weekend (basically your typical jealousy issues). It would make me angry to think he didn't believe me and thats the stem of my issues with him.

 

I got pissed off one weekend & removed him off snapchat (majority of the time we would chat through there since 95% of the time we wouldn't receive each others texts). I didn't hear anything from him. So i messaged him about 6 days after blowing him off. So I messaged him via text saying "so you want me to move on?", his reply, "sure, you do what you need to do for yourself", I kept asking him what he wanted and he had said "maybe for right now thats the best decision for both of us, we've both been causing a lot of problems for each other so maybe for now thats the best decision"

 

At this point I was baffled. I had no words but to try to talk him out of this. He had said things like "I'm sure we will talk again at some point, I just think its best for both parties to have some time" "yes some of its on you, some of its on me, my jealousy and my trust issues and its just too much right now" "Im not getting up and leaving but i need to do me and focus on all aspects of my life, it'll probably suck but doesn't mean its the wrong decision"

 

What really through me off was when he said "This is by far the end of anything" along with "i'm not saying were never going to see or talk to each other again" "like i said, everything gunna work out"

 

He had said "I need to do it for me swell cause my **** just as much as the things you do is what i do now and how i think etc etc"

 

But whats with the "this is by far the end of anything" mean? Looking back at the conversations we had, I am disgusted with the way I treated him to the point everything I had said to him, made me cry.

 

We had a small chat a few times over this past weekend, and each time he would take between 20 mins to 2-3 hours to reply, when normally it was within minutes. At this point, its been a month since I've seen him. When I messaged him regarding figuring things out, it was about 3 weeks ago.

 

I'm losing my head over this, I can't think properly and I really do miss him, but I'm scared of pushing him away if I try communicating with him. I just want to know if having time apart from each other is gunna benefit us & make us stronger, or if its just a subtle way of letting me down easy. & how much time does someone actually need?

 

Its strange, sometimes I'll see he likes depressing quotes on instagram, or he will like the sad quotes I like on instagram right after I do.. I know he's hurting but I can't bare to not have him in my life anymore. This may sound silly but I've held back telling him I was in love with him a few times. I wanted to say it, but didn't want to get rejected.

 

Help is muchly appreciated..but please don't be mean

[loveiswar101]

Nothing..that's all you can do. I'm in totally the flip coin situation...ie im him.

 

It's the old can't have your cake and eat it. Id say the big issue like me in all of this is communication!!!

 

Shouldn't of removed him on snapchat...that shows disrespect and that your not interested in anything. But I don't know the whole story, but it's what I would see!!! I'd be pissed!! Actions speak louder than words, this is what you have shown.

 

If like mine (sounds similar) I was so kind to a woman who I feel in love with, like a fool for the last year I have been friends with her but really wanted more (Ie maybe like him) yet more I did the more she treated me like not bothered if I was there or not. Over the year when I went silent and got pissed off Id get random texts. Sucked me back in. Now she know's how I feel about her but has told me not mutual, many a time Ive said cant go on but she texts again.

 

Of late I said no more, but I get the "ok, speak soon", speak soon I just said I can't do no more!!!!!

 

All im saying if you understand this is you can't be mean to someone and expect different results. I would say he wants space to sort himself out, yet he doesn't want to lose you or he's not sure and has fear of what will happen if he loses you. ie a breadcrumb not a crust. Funny thing is he's probably not aware he's doing this.

 

I highly recommend you give him the space he wants, let him initiate all contact but if he decides to talk, come back you communicate, talk and stop being mean. In the mean time while giving him the space you think of what you want. If do not give him the space ÿes"you will chase him away.

 

Hope made sense...

[jl27]

How does one show that they've actually changed without communicating up front to the person though? It's been a month and I'm losing my head here.

 

We weren't dating, but I really wanted to and he wasn't ready to as he just got out of a relationship 6-7 months prior to this "relationship" conversation we had (his previous relationship really messed him up..his ex was a psycho, made him jealous almost all the time, they'd break up & get back together almost every day..basically made him feel like dirt.) I realize now that I sound almost as bad as his ex too.

 

I guess you could say in a way, I was upset that he wouldn't commit to me, and I would go out of my way to see if me making him jealous would make him get scared of losing me & would commit to being my BF..time & time again, there was no budging, but he did mention "sometimes I think we could work, then we get into an argument"

 

It really bothers me to know that he said "this is by far the end of anything". He's told me that I'm a really good looking girl and I know he gets jealous even when guys look at me. It's not that I'm really waiting around for him, but I know if he were to come back into my life, I would make things right in a heartbeat just to be with him & prove to him I've changed.

 

I just don't know how much time someone actually needs..I've never been in this situation before. Isn't a month plenty of time? I've read other articles saying a week or two is the norm? So now I'm starting to over-think things & believe that he's lied to me about "this is by far the end of anything"