is a lap dance cheating

[junebug]

my boyfriend of 3 years has had 2 lap dances paid for him by his employers in the last year. the first time he said he felt he had to go through with it because he wanted to be part of the team. although i did not like it and i was upset about it i learned to forget about it. but just yesterday he told me he had another one paid for him while he was in las vegas a week ago for a convention. this time he said his boss paid for it too. he tells me it doesn't mean anything to him but i don't really believe him.

 

am i wrong to feel insecure about this? i come from an old fashioned family and in their eyes and my eyes i feel this type of thing is uncalled for in a relationship. i personally feel it is a form of cheating and i cannot except it. could anyone please give me some advice or insight? thanks so much.

[confused]

my boyfriend of 3 years has had 2 lap dances

paid for him by his employers in the last year. the first time he said he felt he had to go through with it because he wanted to be part of the team. although i did not like it and i was upset about it i learned to forget about it. but just yesterday he told me he had another one paid for him while he was in las vegas a week ago for a convention. this time he said his boss paid for it too. he tells me it doesn't mean anything to him but i don't really believe him. am i wrong to feel insecure about this? i come from an old fashioned family and in their eyes and my eyes i feel this type of thing is uncalled for in a relationship. i personally feel it is a form of cheating and i cannot except it. could anyone please give me some advice or insight? thanks so much.

i wouldn't call it cheating. guys do that sort of thing from time to time , being the sickos that they are. tell him you feel insecure about it and ask him if it would bother him if the situation were reversed. i would probably feel insecure myself but those girls are just #@!$* and they do it every day! i'd only start to worry if it became a regular thing. good luck!

[unnamed]

"i come from an old fashioned family and in their eyes and my eyes i feel this type of thing is uncalled for in a relationship. i personally feel it is a form of cheating and i cannot except it."

 

Then that's that. You feel its cheating, disrespectful and it is certainly bothering you enough to come post about it. I would certainly rid of the guy. His boss paid for it twice? I'm not to keen on lap dance pricing (I live in Canada here... and I don't go to the bars), but wouldn't it be a bit expensive?

 

Either way, it sounds like he's lying.

[Tony T]

While I think it is disrespectful for your boyfriend to go through with the lap dances despite your expression of disapproval, I also think he has a right to do what he wants. If he has had only two in the last year, I would by no means call it cheating. There are many men out there who go onto the Internet daily and pay to see porn with their girlfriends in the other room.

 

If this is really important to you, you need to tell your guy how you feel once more and let him know...one more lap dance and it's all over. That's it.

 

What would really piss me off big time if I were you was the fact that he is working so hard at his job in order to be awarded these things. Find out if lap dances are one of the better bonuses or one of the lesser ones.

 

I personally would not bust my own butt to have some strange butt in my face for two minutes. They all look alike.

 

I think this is just a guy thing you ought not worry about now...unless he does it again after your warning.

[Ashesmum]

Let him know that it bothers you and ask how he'd feel if you got a lap dance? If he doesn't really like them then maybe he should decline on the next future one. Otherwise his work will think he likes them and keep doing it. Tell em that there's plenty of other stuff he could do with the money spent on a lap dance, like buy something for you or go out to a nice dinner or something. Tell him to be a man next time and stand up for himself not hunch down and "take it" cause he doesn't want to look bad.

my boyfriend of 3 years has had 2 lap dances paid for him by his employers in the last year. the first time he said he felt he had to go through with it because he wanted to be part of the team. although i did not like it and i was upset about it i learned to forget about it. but just yesterday he told me he had another one paid for him while he was in las vegas a week ago for a convention. this time he said his boss paid for it too. he tells me it doesn't mean anything to him but i don't really believe him. am i wrong to feel insecure about this? i come from an old fashioned family and in their eyes and my eyes i feel this type of thing is uncalled for in a relationship. i personally feel it is a form of cheating and i cannot except it. could anyone please give me some advice or insight? thanks so much.