SocialButterfly Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 My bf and I broke up in March of this year. This marks my now 4th relationship and we've remained occasional. Though, I missed him a lot and it devastated when he explained that he wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to explore. Sometimes (whenever I have time), I secretly visit his workplace and stay there for about 20 minutes. I already know his work schedule and his favorite hobbies. Other times I've gone to the library because I know when he goes there too. I've been careful not to get caught by him. However, yesterday his manager saw me and I quickly left. He knows me because I've been introduced to him a couple times. I'm guessing he must have told my ex bf right? I just can't stop thinking about him and wish it would all go back to normal, that he will one day come back and say he loves me again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 Since he works at a campus cafeteria, I think if he asks me about it, I was thinking of saying that a friend left something there and I was going to get it. Or will he think I'm making it up? Link to post Share on other sites
Fruitee Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Why are you stalking him? Time to move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 My bf and I broke up in March of this year. This marks my now 4th relationship and we've remained occasional. Though, I missed him a lot and it devastated when he explained that he wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to explore. Sometimes (whenever I have time), I secretly visit his workplace and stay there for about 20 minutes. I already know his work schedule and his favorite hobbies. Other times I've gone to the library because I know when he goes there too. I've been careful not to get caught by him. However, yesterday his manager saw me and I quickly left. He knows me because I've been introduced to him a couple times. I'm guessing he must have told my ex bf right? I just can't stop thinking about him and wish it would all go back to normal, that he will one day come back and say he loves me again. This is your heads up/come to Jesus moment that you have crossed over into the "crazy EX"/bunny boiler category. If the manager does say something to the Ex BF, your chances of reconciliation will be zero . . . instead of the current almost none. It's hard to come back and tell someone they love them when they've had to slap and RO on them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Getting caught was a risk you took when you decided to follow him / show up where he'd be. Now that you have experienced the embarrassment of getting caught, hopefully it will cure you of repeating the stalking. Your EX has moved on. He's not coming back. You have to accept that & move forward in your own life. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Since he works at a campus cafeteria, I think if he asks me about it, I was thinking of saying that a friend left something there and I was going to get it. Or will he think I'm making it up? Oh, Paleeze . . . Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 Why are you stalking him? Time to move on.I really though I had the best relationship ever with him, to the point it felt as if we've known each other for the longest. We would talked about forming a family in the near future. I'm already 25 years old and most of my friends already have a child. Now I feel so alone. I had it all with him. I've been trying to stop thinking of him but can't. I know. I don't want to sound like a stalker. I've never followed a guy's whereabouts before but with him, he made me feel so different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 7, 2017 Author Share Posted July 7, 2017 (edited) Your EX has moved on. He's not coming back. You have to accept that & move forward in your own life.I know. It's just that it's been a long while since I ever had a happy and great relationship without any arguments. It was the best and when he broke up suddenly, I didn't see that coming. I feel soooo lost at this moment. The idea that he likes someone else or started loving some other girls is killing me. So far, nothing indicates that it's because of someone else but that would hurt me. Edited July 7, 2017 by SocialButterfly Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 As long as you continue to stalk him, knowing it's over and he's not coming back, you are preventing a guy who could really love you from entering your life. It's time to make your peace with the break up and move on the way your ex has. I doubt his boss mentioned seeing you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Find things to do to keep yourself busy & make yourself happy. As you right the ship that is your life, things will settle down & you will be free to love again. Now that you know what a good relationship looks & feels like you can create another one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 devastated when he explained that he wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted to explore. Let go, he isn't in love with you anymore. He broke up with you and has moved on. You have to do the same. Stalking him isn't healthy and all it's doing is keeping your feelings alive and preventing you from moving on. If you can't do this on your own please seek counseling so you can heal in a healthy way and find a great guy when the timing is right for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 there are many more fish in the sea. You do not have to explain why you were at a cafeteria. If he asks, respond with it is nice we are having weather. You do need to move on. So many ways to meet these days with online dating and you can ask a guy out. this is not the 1950s. You will meet someone. work on yourself and find something that you like to do. exercise helps me. Good luck, things will get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Fruitee Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I really though I had the best relationship ever with him, to the point it felt as if we've known each other for the longest. We would talked about forming a family in the near future. I'm already 25 years old and most of my friends already have a child. Now I feel so alone. I had it all with him. I've been trying to stop thinking of him but can't. I know. I don't want to sound like a stalker. I've never followed a guy's whereabouts before but with him, he made me feel so different. Grow up. Grow a pair. Stop being a sheep. Who cares what your friends do? What do you wanna do? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Your stalking him is just going to make him think you're a creep. You have to accept reality -- and the reality is that while you thought he was the right one for you, he KNEW you were not the right one for him, and the fact that you're stalking him and not healthy enough mentally to just let go and move on tells me he was right. You are not hoping to avoid him like you say. You are hoping he'll see you and reunite. That is not going to happen. You need to accept reality and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 You might be lucky this time and get away but don't do this again. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Sounds stalkerish to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 (edited) As long as you continue to stalk him, knowing it's over and he's not coming back, you are preventing a guy who could really love you from entering your life. It's time to make your peace with the break up and move on the way your ex has. I doubt his boss mentioned seeing you. Also to just add to this - and perhaps help your stalking - the only way I have seen an ex come back - is when they see their ex being happy, secure and moving forward. This is attractive. Stalking, sulking, and being sad never works. So its a win win if you move on and live your best life. You will likely find some one new and better - or the teeny tiny chance he comes back - both are only possible with you moving on and being happy and strong. However I am not going to shame you for some stalking or lurking - human nature after a loss - not moving on right away. Just try to keep it to hidden stalking on social media -like many of us - and not lurking at someones work place - or in the bushes outside their apartment - okay ? Edited July 8, 2017 by dichotomy Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 You have to accept reality -- and the reality is that while you thought he was the right one for you, he KNEW you were not the right one for him, and the fact that you're stalking him and not healthy enough mentally to just let go and move on tells me he was right. You are not hoping to avoid him like you say. You are hoping he'll see you and reunite. That is not going to happen. You need to accept reality and move on.If this is the case, then this hurts me more and makes me feel like a failure. I'm wondering where did I go wrong and what did I do to make him to loving me. I tried being the best gf ever. I never gave him headaches and we never had any horrible arguments either. I also treated him much better than a past bf. I didn't cheat on him. Things were so great and perfect that this makes me sad. I won't follow him anymore but hopefully he does one day think about it and see what he just let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 Grow up. Grow a pair. Stop being a sheep. Who cares what your friends do? What do you wanna do?I really do want to have a family in the near future. I finished college last year. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SocialButterfly Posted July 9, 2017 Author Share Posted July 9, 2017 Anyone knows what's the major reasons a guy would fall out of love in a great relationship as I've just explained? Even our families liked each other. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Someone else. Unless you were fighting a lot beforehand, 9 times out of 10 people leave relatively comfortable relationships only because they have found someone else who intrigues them more. That's nobody's fault; that's what dating is all about. When you find someone you like, you should try to be with them. Obsessing over this won't help you. Here is a useful tip I wish I had learned earlier: when someone wants to walk out of your life, let them. There is nothing you can do to make anyone come back---and you don't want anyone who doesn't want to put you first. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 People fall out of love for lots of reasons. It wasn't your fault & you could not have done anything different. It just wasn't meant to be. You are not a failure. Congratulations on graduating from college. Focus on what is next in your life & give dating a rest for a while as you heal from this break up. When you are emotionally ready to be with a different person, venture out into dating. Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 You're to young to be wigging out about marriage. And a couple steps away from a restraining order. Calm down and be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
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