Straight girl flirts when drunk- is there any truth in her behaviour?

[Confusedatxmas]

Hey everyone. My question is about this married girl I know who I assume is straight. We have no each other for a while but only recently gone out drinking.

 

So the other week we were in a group and we all got really drunk. She's really chatty and these guys started hitting on her. She had had enough and then started wrapping herself around me telling them that I was her wife. She just stayed there for ages hugging me with her head buried in my neck. During the night she kept coming back to hug me or hold my hand. It's hard to explain but it was the type of hug where you feel everything, it's that tight.

 

I saw her again after that, sober, and she kept calling me wife but there was no touching or anything.

 

We then go out again and we start drinking. Even after the first drink she was already calling me wife and came to stand next to me and put her arms around me. As we got more drunk it was more hugging and more of her bringing up being my 'wife'. She did this thing where we were sat across the table and she put her hands out to hold hands across the table and then she started stroking them. One of the guys said he could see electric between us but I dunno he was drunk too but maybe it was noticeable between us.

 

I don't know what to make of it really. She knows I am a lesbian. She's married. I was the only one she was doing this to but then she probably feels closer to me in a friendly way to then take that further. I am trying to figure out if there is anything behind her behaviour as it only happens when she has a drink in her? I kinda thought one time then maybe nothing but to then continue the behaviour again then could there be anything more there?

[Michelle ma Belle]

And if there is something behind her actions, then what?

 

She's MARRIED.

 

What is it you're really asking here?

[Davey L]

I think some women like to play at lesbians when they've had a few drinks.

My wife sometimes flirts with women when she's had a few. I don't actually mind it and indeed quite like it - it's not enough that I feel any kind of threat from it and the only time it led to sex it was a bi woman and I was involved.

 

I suspect that you could end up getting hurt here because I think that for you it would not be just a bit of fun after getting drunk, whereas for her it would probably be just that.

[smackie9]

Well there is a lot of married people out there that come out of the closet or are bi and miss relations with the same sex. Maybe she is looking for some cookie on the side. Next time you are drunk make a pass at her.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Drinking and being drunk lowers one's inhibitions. Nothing new there.

 

I think it's very normal that many women have at least thought about other women in some sexual way. More out of curiosity than anything serious. Lord knows it's certainly more widely accepted in our society than if two men were to do the same thing.

 

Many straight women are quite comfortable flirting and being overly amorous with one another particularly when booze are involved and if men are watching. Women aren't stupid. We all know men LOVE the idea of two women together even if all they are allowed to do is watch.

 

This may be something her hubby fantasizes about. I'll leave it to you to connect those dots yourself.

 

Even if there may be some genuine attraction, I fear there is a motive behind her actions. As an 'out' lesbian, I would tread very carefully and if anything, draw some boundaries as to what is acceptable and appropriate behavior.

[BluesPower]

No... She wants to be with you.

 

She is probably Bi and she is in to you. Her inhibitions come down when she is drinking that is all.

 

If you are into her at all...well you know what to do.

 

But here is the deal. She is married and many husbands are not ok with their wife being with another man or woman, so if that is the case she would still be cheating and you would be involved in an affair.

 

If her H is OK with it then I guess it is OK if you want to, but that is the only way the it could be OK to fool around.

[Space Ritual]

Hey everyone. My question is about this married girl I know who I assume is straight. We have no each other for a while but only recently gone out drinking.

 

So the other week we were in a group and we all got really drunk. She's really chatty and these guys started hitting on her. She had had enough and then started wrapping herself around me telling them that I was her wife. She just stayed there for ages hugging me with her head buried in my neck. During the night she kept coming back to hug me or hold my hand. It's hard to explain but it was the type of hug where you feel everything, it's that tight.

 

I saw her again after that, sober, and she kept calling me wife but there was no touching or anything.

 

We then go out again and we start drinking. Even after the first drink she was already calling me wife and came to stand next to me and put her arms around me. As we got more drunk it was more hugging and more of her bringing up being my 'wife'. She did this thing where we were sat across the table and she put her hands out to hold hands across the table and then she started stroking them. One of the guys said he could see electric between us but I dunno he was drunk too but maybe it was noticeable between us.

 

I don't know what to make of it really. She knows I am a lesbian. She's married. I was the only one she was doing this to but then she probably feels closer to me in a friendly way to then take that further. I am trying to figure out if there is anything behind her behaviour as it only happens when she has a drink in her? I kinda thought one time then maybe nothing but to then continue the behaviour again then could there be anything more there?

 

 

In Vino Veritas..."In Wine, Truth".

 

Many people like to explore when inebriated. I imagine she may like you and the booze brings it out. Just be sure that if you take this plunge with a married woman that, Lesbian or no, that you can deal with any consequences your actions or her actions may unleash. You have the potential to have a Pottery Barn Rule application:

 

"If you break it, you buy it".

 

Pursue at your own peril.

[Confusedatxmas]

Drinking and being drunk lowers one's inhibitions. Nothing new there.

 

I think it's very normal that many women have at least thought about other women in some sexual way. More out of curiosity than anything serious. Lord knows it's certainly more widely accepted in our society than if two men were to do the same thing.

 

Many straight women are quite comfortable flirting and being overly amorous with one another particularly when booze are involved and if men are watching. Women aren't stupid. We all know men LOVE the idea of two women together even if all they are allowed to do is watch.

 

This may be something her hubby fantasizes about. I'll leave it to you to connect those dots yourself.

 

Even if there may be some genuine attraction, I fear there is a motive behind her actions. As an 'out' lesbian, I would tread very carefully and if anything, draw some boundaries as to what is acceptable and appropriate behavior.

 

I am trying to figure her out- not really thought much beyond that. I guess the first time she did it, it took me by surprise and I didn't think about it too much as I thought it was just fun. The fact she did it again and there was no one bothering her and the only people there were Work people which made me wonder what it is she felt. Her husband is very straight laced and from what I know of him would definitely not fantasie about that. I'm probably the opposite of him too. I was wondering if there has to be something there to start with for the booze to bring it out

[elaine567]

She may be highly attracted but i have also seen married/attached people engage in "safe flirting".

They choose the most unlikely candidate in the room to pour their very public attention onto. The ugly guy, the awkward guy, the "too young" guy, the "too old" guy, the married guy and perhaps in your case the lesbian. It is usually over the top and excessive and if anyone calls them out on it they say "I'm only joking, of course I am not really attracted..."

It can be just a cruel joke really, or the other person can play along and it becomes an "in joke"

Her calling you "wife" sounds a bit like that.

 

Ask her.

Why do you do this?

What is your game?

 

Even if you are attracted to her, do not let her do this to you, tell her to stop making a show of you in public and using you to get the guys all fired up. She is blurring the lines and toying with your emotions and that isn't fair

 

Also, getting involved with married people is a recipe for disaster, stay away is my advice.

Edited July 8, 2017 by elaine567
removed quote

[preraph]

Sounds like she is bi but when sober she doesn't let that happen necessarily. Her filters are down when she's drunk. Now I've had a little experience with this type thing (I'm straight). My best friend of some decades when she was young, like 20, got overly affectionate when drunk (she's now been sober 25 years) but I know it was because she had some emotional problems mainly. She had abandoment issues and a mother whose priority was living her own life and she'd lost her best friend in a tragic accident. She just wanted to cling to someone.

 

So it doesn't always translate to simply sexuality. Emotional stuff and alcoholism kind of go hand in hand and make people vulnerable.

 

I certainly wouldn't take advantage and make a move on her. To me, her clinging to you like that sounds like someone who's got some problems and just needs affection, not sex.