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For men is love all luck?


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iloveboston

I know women have no need to work for love or companionship. A man needs to put in hours of work to get companionship and intimacy. Law of life so I deal with it.

My question is this. Is attracting women all luck? I know its not just looks, money or status but luck in life. Attracting women is not about skill or personality. Why do i say this? 13 year boys with no jobs are getting laid with very attractive white women. Meanwhile i have to risk jail time just to feel intimacy with a woman. Its all luck. What does an immature boy have that i dont have? Luck..... Not complaining because its always the mans fault. So do you guys agree. Im not ugly. Well paid and well spoken but no luck. What do you guys think?

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iloveboston

I live in a rural area but location is a big factor as well. Sometimes i feel like i need to look like justin bieber just to talk to a 45 year old with 5 kids thats 200 pounds... im only 26 btw

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Luck has little to do with it.

 

Firstly you need some value. Then you need to make an effort to actually break your comfort zone and speak to women.

 

Then you need to develop an eye for what is actually valuable in women, develop a taste for what you actually like and respect in people. Only comes from experience.

 

How is any of this luck? (barring the DNA lottery which we all get put through at birth). It's a bloody massive effort.

 

Sell me on this "luck" theory ;)

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I don't believe it's luck at all.

 

It's a very specific set of beliefs and behaviors. That can be learned and replicated.

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Its not easy for anyone man or woman to find a good relationship. But if you go around with a victim mentality, then yes Id say you are going to have 'bad luck' if that is what you want to call it.

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iloveboston

Would help alot if you were more specific. Idk what you mean. Im not going to talk to random women as a man you will be labeled as a creep and liable for harrassment

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So basically a teenage boy is more manly than me? Gotcha

 

Yes.

 

You can bet those teachers aren't sleeping with any random teenager. If we could study the ones they do sleep with, I'd bet they have confidence, believed it was possible, and took action in a way that allowed the teacher to feel comfortable enough to risk her job and reputation to sleep with a boy.

 

So, yes. They are quite different from you. Even as teenagers.

 

You can change though. If you want. Or just make excuses and be a victim.

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. Meanwhile i have to risk jail time just to feel intimacy with a woman.

 

What do you mean by this?

 

I suspect if you are risking jail, that you might be picking the wrong women.

 

It's not about luck. It's about the ability to engage in conversation. Practice your social interactions & perhaps search elsewhere.

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Hmm women can go outside unbathed for 3 days and get approached by 40 men in a 3 hour period. Please stop

 

This is completely not true. I lived in L.A. and the homeless women were not surrounded by men. Also who are these 13 year old boys who screw white women that you speak of?

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I know women have no need to work for love or companionship. A man needs to put in hours of work to get companionship and intimacy. Law of life so I deal with it.

My question is this. Is attracting women all luck? I know its not just looks, money or status but luck in life. Attracting women is not about skill or personality. Why do i say this? 13 year boys with no jobs are getting laid with very attractive white women. Meanwhile i have to risk jail time just to feel intimacy with a woman. Its all luck. What does an immature boy have that i dont have? Luck..... Not complaining because its always the mans fault. So do you guys agree. Im not ugly. Well paid and well spoken but no luck. What do you guys think?

 

A man needs to put in hours of work to get companionship -- If you're viewing this as WORK, there's something wrong.

 

Is it a matter of luck? -- Well, I'd say to some degree, there is some luck involved. But, I think it's healthier to attribute it more to luck than to think that it is something you actually have a lot of control over. If you are "working" so hard at this, I'd say you might be coming off as too aggressive/needy/clingy/desperate. Chill a little and let things happen naturally.

 

What does an immature boy have that i dont have? -- This is a very unhealthy, negative and ODD thought process. And, if attractive white women are having sex with 13 year old boys or even an adult male with a low maturity level, there's something wrong with them and you shouldn't want them either.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Hmm women can go outside unbathed for 3 days and get approached by 40 men in a 3 hour period. Please stop

 

I'm gonna put this to the test! I'll report back.

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Regard the hours of work to find a companion, yes there is some truth to that. You will need to get out there, get yourself into the right mindframe or the physical shape to find somebody. This will take effort. Socializing itself shouldn't feel like work, and you're likely doing something wrong if it does.

 

Talking to each woman is a complete crapshoot, and you will have to talk to a lot of them to find somebody who is availabe, compatible and interested. On the plus side, this can be rather fun if you can deal with the uncertainty.

 

As to what an immature boy has that you don't? What about testosterone-fueled courage to approach women? It doesn't matter who you are but what you do.

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GorillaTheater

Seneca supposedly said that “Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity". By that definition, yeah, I might agree that love is a matter of luck.

 

 

Opportunity is random to a point, but preparation isn't. So OP, what are you doing to prepare?

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